September 24, 2026 · 48:48

Joe Bailey, Manufacturing Engineering Manager at Vermeer Corporation, explains why God’s vision for family formation must become our own.

Marriage & FamilyCulture & Media

Show notes

0:00 - 15:00. Proverbs 1:8-10 (NASB95). God gives guidance to us in His word to equip us to forge faithful families. 15:00 - 31:00. Joe Bailey, Manufacturing Engineering Manager at Vermeer Corporation, explains why God’s vision for family formation must become our own. 31:00 - 48:00. The command to peculiar stands regardless of how it’s perceived by our culture.

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Transcribed with OpenAI Whisper (base.en). Timestamps are approximate. Lightly cleaned for readability; quotations from on-air callers may include filler words. Use the audio player above for the authoritative recording.

0:00Darkness is not an affirmative force.
0:02It simply reoccupies the space vacated by the light.
0:06This is the Hamilton Corner on American Family Radio.
0:10It should be uncomfortable for a believer to live as a hypocrite.
0:15Delivery people out of the bondage of mainstream media.
0:18And the philosophies of this world.
0:20God has called you and me to be his ambassador.
0:23Even in this dark moment.
0:26Let's not miss our moment.
0:28And now the Hamilton Corner.
0:31Good evening, everyone.
0:33Welcome to the Hamilton Corner here on American Family Radio.
0:36I'm your host, Abraham Hamilton, the third broadcasting day
0:40to hear from the lovely sunny state of Florida here,
0:44Orlando, Florida at the 2026 Home School Legal Defense
0:50Association's National Leaders Conference, that is HSLDA.
0:55It's been a wonderful time thus far.
0:58heard great devotional message this morning concerning striving versus serving and how
1:05it's very easy when we're working to serve the Lord.
1:09We can allow ourselves to slip over into the condition of where we're striving, no longer
1:15resting in the Lord and trusting Him with the outcome of our labor.
1:20But we're striving within ourselves.
1:22It's very easily to turn our work in many ways into an idol in and of itself.
1:27So it was great to hear there was a great reminder for me as well,
1:31because when you are committed to a vision and serving the Lord with passion,
1:35it's very easy to really what it is,
1:38is put yourself in God's place to where you are seeking to be the guarantor of
1:43the outcome instead of simply living from the posture to a duty as ours,
1:49but the results truly, the results truly are his.
1:52I was grateful for that reminder this morning at this very moment.
1:56many of you, if not most of you, are making your transitions from your part time jobs,
2:01where you generate an income to your full time jobs, where you cultivate an outcome.
2:05And as you do so, I want to remind you to do so with intentionality, allowing the
2:11primacy that God places on family to govern, to guard, and to guide your engagements in
2:17your families.
2:18And it is not a coincidence that family is the foundational building block for
2:26the church, family is a foundational building block for society, but most importantly, God
2:32has ordained family as his first institution with marriage at the center because it is
2:38the institution tasked primarily with the responsibility of cultivating multi-generational
2:44faithfulness to God.
2:45We're going to talk about that at length during today's program and it is incumbent upon us
2:53that we welcome the Lord to give us a vision for family, that we don't just stumble our way into it,
3:00that we don't just allow the culture combined with biological reality to say, oh, there you go,
3:07family, but we actually have a vision for family and that the vision that we have flows from God's
3:13vision for family. And we engage in cultivating family intentionally. Now, as I'm saying that,
3:22that I'm keenly aware that our audience
3:24is comprised of people at various life stages.
3:28I don't want anybody to take the unintentional communication
3:32and I'm saying that God doesn't care about your life stage
3:35or that is not important.
3:36If you're not in a place where you have young children
3:38in your home, that this show is not for you,
3:40not in the least bit.
3:41But the reality is we have allowed, unfortunately,
3:45the world, the flesh, and the devil to encroach
3:49upon what God's vision is for the family.
3:52I've been talking a lot about the statistics
3:55on the program concerning family formation,
3:58how in many ways marriage has fallen out of favor.
4:02And these are things that are detrimental
4:05to us individually, yes, and to our society as a whole, yes,
4:10and to the vitality of the Lord's Church frankly,
4:13because of what I said earlier that the family
4:15is the primary institution tasked
4:17cultivating multi-generational faithfulness to the Lord. Well, what's what happens then when you get
4:23a talking snake that slithers slithers into that garden? Well, what ends up happening is that you have
4:29a nation that has this thing called, you know, the United States Constitution. I don't know if you've
4:32ever heard of it before. We have this other thing, you know, called the Bill of Rights and we have
4:36this Declaration of Independence. And while at the exact same time that we have that, we also have an
4:42ascending movement of democratic socialism. We have an ascending movement of moms who want
4:53to murder their children in the womb. And now if you murder your children after their, I
4:59don't know, eight months old, three years old and five years old, you get people who rally
5:05in support of you and turn your attorney into a rock star, even though your attorney may not
5:09even know that the president of the United States has no where we thought
5:13off-apartons to state criminal charges. Guys, this is how these things happen.
5:20This is how these things happen. You have a society that has a court that
5:27judicially amends the 14th Amendment to make a mockery out of citizenship
5:35in our nation to say that anybody born here, anybody, you could be born here
5:40and have no allegiance to our country whatsoever.
5:42But you get to get the benefit of citizenship.
5:45Guys, these things have gone astray.
5:48But what I want you to understand is that they're not the root of the problem.
5:52They are the fruit of the problem.
5:55And what is the problem, you might ask?
5:57I'll say it very plainly, very simply.
5:59The problem is that our people, the American populace, have largely turned away from the Lord.
6:07And so if we're going to see a course correction, we cannot merely have a course correction.
6:14We must have a heart correction that we must turn to the Lord in repentance and faith.
6:23And there's only one way forward.
6:25And that is through the hard road of repentance.
6:29So the Word of God, we go.
6:31We're going to begin the program today in Proverbs chapter 1.
6:35Proverbs chapter one, verses eight through 10
6:38is where I wanna go.
6:40Because I remember when my wife and I first got married
6:43and the Lord blessed us to conceive our first child
6:47and people would say things like,
6:48well, there's no handbook or manual concerning child rearing.
6:52And I remember thinking, hmm, but didn't God say in his word
6:57that he's given us all things that pertain to life
7:00and godliness and y'all can't see it
7:03I'm a wife right over there, she right there.
7:05Babe, doesn't life include rearing children?
7:09I would think that would be included.
7:12And you know, I understand and I appreciate wisdom
7:15as I'm able to receive it from those who give wisdom,
7:18but not everything that people say is wisdom.
7:22And so I just go to the Bible and this is the verse
7:26because while yes, the Bible is not a step-by-step
7:30how-to manual, this is how you put on a cloth diaper.
7:33Remember that adventure in cloth diapers?
7:37This is how you pin the cloth diaper. No, it's not a how to manual that sense, but the Lord's Word
7:44Speaks to every circumstance
7:47including family formation
7:50marital investment and
7:52Parenting there is either a text that directly addresses what your issue or my issue may be or a principal from the text that addresses
8:02your issue or what my issue may be in Proverbs chapter 1 verses 8 through 10
8:08kind of punctuates this reality because the the thrust and the tenor of the book
8:16of Proverbs comes to us by divine inspiration but through a means of
8:21parental advice. My son hears this listen to your father's instruction listen to
8:30your mother's instruction. Is that Jeff? Is that not what the text says? Let me give you
8:35an example what I'm talking about. Verse chapter 1 verses 8 through 10. This is what verse 8 says.
8:39Here, my son, your father's instruction, and do not forsake your mother's teaching.
8:48Indeed, they are a graceful wreath to your head and ornaments about your neck. My son, if sinners
8:58entice you do not consent. Now these proverbs coming from the first chapter of the book of Proverbs
9:08begin as I just described them to you. I'll start with the last verse that I read first,
9:13where you have a father advising his son concerning the necessity to resist the enticement of sinners.
9:22Notice that the text makes a contrast, a dividing line between the sinners and the son of the father.
9:30Notice that my son if sinners entice you do not consent.
9:36You don't have to consent to the enticement of the wicked.
9:40My son, you want to talk about fatherly advice?
9:43That's fatherly advice.
9:45But if you go back, you notice it says here, my son, your father's instruction
9:51and do not forsake your mother's teaching the verse in chapter.
9:54I'm sorry, verse eight, chapter one, verse eight mentions the father's instruction
10:00and the mother's teaching, both of them.
10:03Then you get to version nine, it says, indeed, they are a graceful wreath to your head. What is the
10:09they that's being mentioned there? The they is taking the comp is compounding of the offering from
10:16the father's instruction and the mother's teaching. Indeed, they are a graceful wreath or a graceful
10:24garland to your head. And ornaments, notice the plurality of the ornaments, plurality of the
10:33recommendation and the reference ornaments about your neck. In fact, the entirety of the book of
10:40Proverbs comes from the standpoint that the objective here is to be a means of conveying wisdom,
10:49truth, counsel, and understanding within the context where fathers, the father is represented in terms
10:58of the one offering the instruction. So when you say, well, there's no handbook for parenting,
11:05there's no handbook for reading a family, I would challenge that assertion. Because as I began the
11:12program stating that among the human institutions that God established, he intentionally unfolded
11:19human history and unfolded his created order in the manner that he did so. The first of the
11:24human institutions that God has established, established for ordered liberty and maximize
11:30human flourishing is the family with marriage at the center. And it is unfolded in that manner
11:38intentionally because it is the family that is tasked primarily with establishing multi-generational
11:45faithfulness to the Lord. And the very beginning, the first command ever, ever given to mankind
11:52is in Genesis 1, be fruitful, multiply, replenish the earth and subdue it. You move to the New Testament,
11:59you see a command, I've explained this on the program before, in Ephesians chapter 6, the first
12:03half of the book of Ephesians is written in the indicative mood in Greek. It's indicating who we
12:09are. That's when we get the glowing theological parrots, theological instructions of things like
12:14like for you were dead and trespasses and sins,
12:17but you are quickened together, quickened alive together
12:19in Christ Jesus.
12:20The second half of the book of Ephesians
12:22is written in the imperative mood in Greek.
12:25It is an imperative is a synonym for command.
12:28So when the Lord says,
12:29fathers do not exacerbate your children,
12:31rather rear them in the nurturing admonition of the Lord,
12:34the pidea and euthisia of the Lord, that is a command.
12:39As you've heard me explain before,
12:40to command that is ultimately to fathers, but not exclusively to fathers, because unlike
12:47our current Supreme Court justice, who is unaware of what a woman is, or at least unwilling
12:52to say what a woman is in public during the confirmation hearing, in order for you have,
12:56in order to have a command that is addressed to fathers ultimately, and it pertains to children,
13:01in order to have fathers and children guess what has to be involved in that formula, mothers.
13:07So it is a command to fathers and mothers, but fathers with the ultimate accountability
13:14and responsibility, very similar to when the rebellion transpires in the garden, who is the
13:20one that God calls to account first?
13:22It is the man, the husband.
13:25Fathers do not exacerbate children, rather rear them in the nurture and admonition of
13:30the Lord, the discipline and the destruction of the Lord, the pidea and the luthisia of
13:35the Lord.
13:36That task shows that it is an accountability that is ultimately applicable to fathers.
13:45It is also flows from the reality when God defines what marriage is to the exclusion of
13:52all counterfeits in the book of Genesis and the Encarnia Messiah affirms that definition
13:57in Matthew 19.
13:58It says, and for this reason, shall a man leave his father and his mother and be joined to his
14:05his wife that this reality elevates the responsibility that fathers have in the formation of their
14:12families and in the pidean new teaser of our children. What I'm saying very simply folks
14:17is God gives a mandate for us and we must resist the cultural press to define for us what families
14:25should be. Instead we should recognize that we get our marching orders from the Lord and
14:29the Lord alone. Hello I'm Abraham Hamilton the third. Did you know that this content is listener
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15:10monthly gift of any amount will help sustain American Family Radio and specifically this podcast.
15:15Please consider becoming a monthly financial partner today by visiting aFR.net slash gift.
15:21That's aFR.net slash gift. Shiting lightning to the darkness. This is the Hamilton Corner,
15:38an American family radio. Welcome back to the Hamilton Corner, Abraham Hamilton,
15:44the third here and I am honored to have on the program with me a man who had the honor of meeting
15:50serving with on the HSLDA board of directors alongside and getting to know him and his wife
15:56quite a bit. For the first time my wife and I had breakfast with he and his wife I said I want to
16:01have Joe on the program. My guest is none other than Joe Bailey who is a servant of Christ
16:08dedicated to working hard as to the Lord and attributing all glory to God. He's married to
16:14who is wonderful wife Elizabeth,
16:16who has been his wife for the last 14 years.
16:19Both he and Elizabeth are second generation homeschoolers,
16:22and together they raised in homeschool
16:24their nine children, the ninth was born not too long ago.
16:27Yeah, just three weeks.
16:28Praise God for that.
16:29They live in a rural property in Iowa
16:31and are faithful members of Christ the Redeemer Church
16:34in Pella, Iowa where Joe serves as a deacon.
16:38One of Joe's prayers is that the Bailey lineage
16:40would stay faithful to Christ for at least 10 generations
16:45to come.
16:46Joe studied at Laternal University,
16:48which is a Christian university in Texas
16:49where he obtained a Bachelor of Science in Engineering.
16:52He's a certified welding inspector,
16:54a certified welding engineer, and a professional engineer.
16:58He is currently the Manufacturing Engineering Manager
17:01at Vermeer Corporation overseeing the new product
17:03manufacturing engineering tooling and 3D printing teams.
17:08Joe, thank you for joining me here on the Hamilton Corner.
17:11My pleasure.
17:12Thanks for inviting me.
17:13Oh, you're most, most, most welcome.
17:15And I'll never forget the first conversation we had,
17:18you mentioned a desire for your family, the Bailey family,
17:23the Bailey lineage to have at least 10 generations
17:27of faithful Christ followers.
17:28And that resonated with me from that moment in my life.
17:31And I talked about it after we finished breakfast.
17:34And it brought tears to my eyes because you gave voice,
17:39voice to a cry of my heart.
17:42How did that idea begin to resonate with you
17:47in terms of wanting to be a part of establishing
17:50at a minimum 10 generations of faithful Christ followers
17:52of the Bailey lineage?
17:54Well, it started with the influence of my earthly father.
17:57My dad has, he's a second generation Christian himself.
18:01his parents were, came to Christ and set a great example for us and really invested in
18:09their kids. I mean my siblings. And he was praying for at least seven generations. I'm
18:17like, I'm going to up the ante.
18:18So your dad was praying for seven generations. I want to up the ante. I want to go to at least
18:2210.
18:23Wow. That's amazing, man. And I guess we should take a few steps back. If you're okay with
18:28Would you mind sharing with our audience here how you came to faith in Christ?
18:32Certainly. Well, I would say I have never not known Christ.
18:36I have been a Christian since I was born in that my parents were Christians and they passed
18:41on that faith to me. When I was 12 years old, I was baptized. When I was like five years
18:46old, I accepted Christ kind of formally into my heart in Sunday school class. But all those
18:51were just ratifications of what was already present. And that I really don't know a time
18:58where I didn't know Christ.
18:59Sure, I had times in my upbringing where I was questioning,
19:02okay, who exactly is God and is this really my faith?
19:06Am I really seeking Him or not?
19:09So it doesn't mean I didn't have questions along the way
19:11or that I didn't have to seek and make it my own,
19:13but I can truly say there's never a time I didn't know God.
19:17And that's such a rich blessing and that is true
19:19of my children and obviously my prayer
19:22for many generations to come.
19:24So in light of that, I was, a lot of things, one of the things we do here is keep up with
19:29various things.
19:31There's a report, a study actually that was conducted by the Institute for Family Studies
19:36based in Virginia really, and it's showing that the data that has been presented recently
19:44shows that Young Men ages 20 to 39, that the quantity of young men in that age group who
19:49are unmarried has exploded exponentially.
19:52In 25 years ago, it was only about 2.6 million American men that would have been in that
19:57category being between the ages of 20 and 39 that are unmarried.
20:01Whereas now, in the data actually was as of 2025.
20:04So it's not even up to 2026.
20:06In 2026, that number is exploded to where it's over 15 million unmarried men of that age range.
20:13The ratio is now almost two to one unmarried versus married.
20:18How would you say, especially for the body of Christ, that we should, we need to press forward
20:25with the reality of cultivating family, and in addition to that, cultivating an intentional
20:30vision for what family should be as the scriptures unfold that reality?
20:35Well specifically to the question of marriage, we should have a vision for our children to
20:41get married.
20:42Like that is the norm.
20:43Yes, the apostle Paul talks about how it is good to be able to serve Christ as a single
20:47person as well. That is a high calling, but that's not the most common calling. The most common
20:53calling is to become married and to raise warriors for Christ. We see this in Psalms like Psalm
20:58127 where it talks about the blessing of children who are arrows in the hands of a warrior.
21:04And so anyway, that should be our vision and desire. And like for me and my household,
21:09as soon as a child is born, one of the first prayers I pray over them is that God would
21:13to be preparing a spouse for them someday.
21:16And that is a regular prayer of mine for my kids.
21:18And it's really important to be seeking that good for them.
21:23And I know that was something my parents put a lot of time
21:25and energy into.
21:26And it was interesting to see how each of my siblings,
21:29like all of our stories of how we met our spouse
21:31and how we got to marry, were uniquely different.
21:33Very different methods and ways.
21:35But God blessed all of them.
21:36And that's what I hope for my children.
21:39Yeah.
21:40I've explained before that the vocation of singleness
21:43is a vocation, but it is a vocation from God.
21:47And that vocation is accompanied by the God-given gift of
21:51celibacy.
21:52You know, that is not a vocation that should be claimed as a
21:54result of relational disappointments or, or unmet
21:58expectations that it is a vocation to give from God.
22:00But when you consider the first command of God gave to
22:02mankind, which is to be fruitful and multiply, we also have the
22:06God-given context for that fruit-fitness and multiplication
22:08would be an in lifelong committed covenantal marriage
22:11context from which we can easily move to recognize that majority, the majority disposition as
22:17God wills it for people are, most of us are going to be married. The Apostle Paul's vocation
22:23of singleness is an exception more than it should be viewed as the rule. But in many
22:28ways, believers today are taking our marching orders from the world and even using unmet
22:34life expectations to kind of set for us what we will pursue, you know, but having that recognition
22:42that marriage and family is something that God establishes and wills for the majority of us
22:47should shape our thinking expectations for it. But there's been a rise in kind of an attempt to
22:54valorize singleness, I would say, to a degree in the sense of saying, well, not everybody is called
23:00to be married, which is true. But that does not mean that the majority of people are not
23:05called to be married. So if that is the case, the understanding of marriage and family should
23:09be anchored in God's holy word. And so you said you would have been a fishery of, and
23:14I remember this from our earlier conversation in Texas, how that as you were developing
23:20in your studies and growing to particular point, one of the things your dad said to you
23:25is that, all right, at the appropriate point, you need to consider now whether or not it's
23:31time for you to pursue a wife.
23:33Yes, I remember that distinctly because I had been really committed in high school and even
23:38in my early college years to not pursuing a woman because I didn't feel like I was ready
23:41to get married.
23:42But then my summer between my junior and senior year, my dad said, all right, Joe, when you're
23:48going to start looking for a spouse at some time.
23:50And at the same time, I'm not a junior and senior year in college.
23:53between my junior and senior year in college. Correct. You got it. And not that I'm saying
23:57that's the right timing for everyone. That was just happened to be for me. And I remember
24:02distinctly too, God just laying out my heart a dissatisfaction of singleness. Like I had
24:06been reasonably content so far, not that I had never noticed a woman, not that I ever
24:11thought of what marriage could be like, but God specifically laid a discontentment on my
24:16heart. And then he put in my way Elizabeth, who I had known for many years already, but
24:22had not pursued or really taken any action towards.
24:26And there was a distinct moment where
24:28I met her at a family gathering, or gathering of many families,
24:32really.
24:32And I thought to myself, that is the woman I want to marry.
24:37And God laid that on my heart.
24:38And it was a very distinct inflection moment in time.
24:41And it was very clear confirmation
24:44that this was the time to get married.
24:45Now, you said a couple things.
24:46And one of them resonates with me so much,
24:48because it reminds me of something,
24:49the conversation I have with my son.
24:51You said prior to the Lord rousing a discontent with singleness in your heart and the conversation
24:59had with your dad, you were previously content to be married.
25:03And earlier in your life, you hadn't pursued a woman because you felt because you knew you
25:06weren't yet ready to be a husband.
25:09Yes.
25:10Would you talk a little bit about that?
25:11Because I think it's important for us to understand that for the body of Christ, the way that we
25:17should seek to be joined in holy matrimony and pursue romantic relationships, it shouldn't
25:22be something that flows from what's prevalent in the world. So this idea of not being ready
25:28to be a husband is one of the main things that anchored your lack of pursuing a relationship
25:34with a woman until that time was right. Would you talk a little bit about that?
25:39Certainly. So some of the things that I think are important for being ready for marriage
25:44One is maturing that you can lead a wife and future children and faith.
25:50Now that doesn't mean you have to be fully matured.
25:53God's going to keep doing that throughout your life.
25:55Another is that you're in a position to be ready to financially provide.
25:58And for me, the clear indicator for that was graduating from college.
26:01Okay, I'm a year out from graduating from college.
26:04I'm in a good position to get a job and then be able to provide for a family.
26:08I've pursued college debt-free, so I'm not going to be burdened by that.
26:12that again. These are not things that I'm suggesting should be requirements for
26:15everyone I'm just explaining my experience. But the ability to provide is important
26:21the spiritual leadership is important and the self-discipline is important.
26:27And the reason why I wanted to bring that out is one of the things that I've talked
26:31to my own son about and in our men's ministry at our local church. We
26:37brought our older sons our teenage sons and one of the things we talked about was
26:42that reality that at this stage of their adolescence and
26:46development, they were all teenagers that you are in a
26:50life stage where you should be focused primarily on building
26:54yourself into the man that God has called you to be in and
26:56growing to be worthy of a wife. That's the conversation we
26:59talk about. Are you worthy of a wife God has made us to be
27:03males as a reality of our ability to identify women he's made
27:08us to be attracted to women. But the right thing at the wrong
27:11time is still the wrong thing. And not only is it the wrong thing, it could be
27:15life-alteringly detrimental if we pursue the wrong, the right thing at the wrong
27:20time. And so what you shared just now about the things that contributed to your
27:26lack of pursuit of a romantic relationship until you are ready for a
27:30wife resonated deeply with me. And it's one of the things that I think, you know,
27:34people talk about make America make America great again. We need to make
27:37marriage grade again. We need to make men. Again, we need to make the pursuit of manhood
27:42great again. And we need to have godly men who have influence on godly young men starting
27:48with our father's first and having, you know, a, dare I say, a fraternity of godly men who
27:54influenced godly young men in terms of cultivating as a standardized, normalized portion of our
28:01discourse. Are you worthy of a life? We don't need to talk about, oh man, will you date?
28:06No, no, these are not the conversations we need to be talking and checking in with our young men as a matriculating in the manhood
28:12And say are you building yourself into being worthy?
28:15And then as that transpires with with tangible metrics
28:21Then having the strong conversations. Okay, like your dad did with you
28:25Joe have you thought about the need for you to start to pursue a wife?
28:30Yes
28:30I'm really glad you brought up the point of other men too and mentoring young men because I've benefited greatly from that
28:36of other men and around the same time my dad was challenging me. There were other
28:40men. I remember, simply one other Christian homeschool dad who said to me,
28:44so Joe, when are you gonna start looking for a wife? It was around that same time. So
28:47having other men in your life is really important. Who can speak into that as well.
28:51Now I'm gonna invite you to do something that I may do from time to time.
28:56Talk about my wife, but she's not here. You said you reacquainted yourself a little
29:03Elizabeth I remember our first conversation
29:05breakfast like it was yesterday.
29:07And you'd known Elizabeth, but you hadn't seen her
29:11in the way that you saw her at this particular time.
29:15What was it about her that caused you to say when you reacquainted yourself with her that
29:19that is a woman I want to marry? What was it about her? Yeah there was multiple things
29:23so I'll step through a little bit of the history of that. We want all the good stuff.
29:27All right I love telling this story. So it started out we attended a
29:31class together called Team Pack. When my sister was attending it, I was, her brother was attending
29:37it, and I noticed Elizabeth and I noticed her brother.
29:39What age?
29:40I was 17 and she was 16. So we were both in high school. And I remember noticing her
29:47and thinking, wow, that is a woman who carries herself well and speaks well. And she gave
29:54a speech about biblical femininity that received a standing ovation from the audience. And I
30:00I remember thinking to myself doing that speech,
30:03the girl she described is the girl I wanna marry someday.
30:07And so I tucked that away.
30:08And again, I wasn't ready to date,
30:10I wasn't ready to start pursuing women,
30:12but I was like, wow, could I be worthy
30:14to marry a woman like that?
30:16Look fast forward, to a few years later,
30:18we met at a homeschool conference.
30:20And I remember talking with her there
30:22and being frankly a little intimidated
30:24by that conversation and thinking again,
30:28would then I could be worthy to marry a woman like this.
30:32And so that was inspiring me and my own
30:34nature growth and maturity, which was wonderful.
30:37And then fast forward to that gap,
30:40that summer between junior and senior year in college.
30:44This big family gathering event is a Fourth of July event
30:46that my sister had coordinated with a lot of homeschool,
30:48Christian families.
30:50And I walked up to a conversation where Elizabeth was talking
30:53to another dad.
30:54So, and he was the dad of one of my good friends
30:57from high school.
30:58And that dad was talking to her,
31:00and I joined the conversation.
31:01And then one of the things he said,
31:03as he left the conversation, he said,
31:05I want you to meet my son.
31:07I knew immediately what he was thinking.
31:09Here's thinking, nice single girl,
31:11my son's still single, maybe we can make something happen here.
31:15And I bristled inside internally.
31:17And I was surprised by it.
31:19I was like, why did this thought occur to me?
31:21And the thought that occurred was,
31:22no, I don't want this friend to marry Elizabeth.
31:24I want to marry Elizabeth.
31:27And it got to knock me on my heels.
31:28I was like, what was that?
31:30And she kind of looked at me and smiled and then walked away.
31:33And so then that morning, so that was it in the evening,
31:38the next morning I woke up really early,
31:40and I couldn't think of anything but Elizabeth.
31:42And that I really loved this woman and wanted to pursue her.
31:47And I shared it with my dad.
31:48And he was like, OK, great.
31:49When are you going to talk to her dad about it?
31:51And so he kind of pushed me into that,
31:54which was great.
31:55And it turns out, I found out after the fact
31:58that my sister was praying for me
32:02to get together with Elizabeth.
32:03I gotta pause you right there,
32:04because we gotta hit a break,
32:05but after the break, we're gonna come back
32:07to learn lifetimes of Joe and Elizabeth Daley.
32:11We'll be back right after this break.
32:30Hello, I'm Abraham Hamilton III.
32:32Did you know that this content is listener supported?
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32:51That's aFR.net slash GIV.
33:05The Hamilton Quarter Podcast
33:07and one-bitted common terrors are available at aFR.net.
33:11Back to the Hamilton Quarter on American Family Radio.
33:15Welcome back to the Hamilton Corner,
33:17everybody, Abraham Hamilton III here.
33:19My guest is Joe Bailey, husband of one Elizabeth's father of nine, happily married for 14 years.
33:26And we were in the middle of learning quite a bit more about Joe's pursuit of Elizabeth.
33:32And one of the things he mentioned, I think it's worthwhile both for the grandmothers, the mothers
33:38who are listening to this program as well as the young women who are listening to this program.
33:42In addition to the fathers, grandfathers and young men who are listening, because Joe you
33:47mentioned that having met Elizabeth early on one of the initial thoughts that you had was that man,
33:53you were a bit intimidated by her because of her godly maturity and how her godly maturity provoked
34:01in you a desire to mature likewise to ultimately put you in a position to where you would be,
34:09as we've been talking about worthy to lead her as a husband. And I think that's something that's
34:13words wild on one hand we've been talking about being worthy of a wife as a husband,
34:20but it's instructive for us to understand that the scripture likewise says that he that finds
34:25a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord, the quality of wifeliness is
34:29present in our wives before we even find them.
34:33So, while we're talking to our young men about being worthy of a wife, there also is a place
34:40where we have the tightest two phenomenon where we have older godly women starting with their mothers
34:45and including other women surrounding them that help our young women cultivate the qualities of
34:49wifeliness, the qualities of godly wifeliness so that when their husbands find them, those qualities
34:56are there. That's not the time I often like to say, you know, you stay ready so you don't have to get
35:02ready. You know what I mean? These are the types of things that we want to cultivate. And these are
35:05these are the types of conversations that must be normalized within the family of God and contrary
35:10to some of the popular phenomenons, I saw a video not too long ago where you had some of
35:15these celebrities who, guys we understand, just because somebody is popular doesn't mean
35:19they're wise. And there is a popular celebrity woman who said, well, you know, why is it that
35:24I have never approached a man? And I would simply answer that question because it's not
35:27your responsibility. The scripture gives us clear and guidance as to the fact that it is
35:32the husband's responsibility to find his bride
35:35and not in the reverse or in the inverse of that reality,
35:38but there is a reality of cultivating godly virtue.
35:43And it is godly virtue that is attractive to a godly man.
35:47A godly man is not gonna be attracted
35:49to an ungodly woman and vice versa.
35:52Now I know what I'm saying is provocative
35:55in a lot of circles because one of the things
35:56that some people don't like to talk to me about
35:58is if people profess to be Christians,
36:00you say, well Abe, I wanna tell you about this person
36:01They know my first question on the beat are they Christians?
36:04And if I ask the question are they Christians and your response to me is what is not
36:13monopoly but do not pass go do not collect $200?
36:16Because if you can't answer that question with a fourth right affirmative yes then we're not even
36:20having a constructive conversation about this phenomenon.
36:23So but getting back to your story.
36:25So you have this encounter with Elizabeth.
36:29Early on you saw from a distance her to speak man blown away.
36:34converse with her, intimidated by her,
36:37but not an intimidation that is paralysing,
36:42but it is one that is, man, I want to grow,
36:45to meet that level of maturity in myself.
36:48I wanna be able to win that woman.
36:49I wanna be able to win that woman, that woman,
36:52not a woman, that woman, right?
36:54And now you get to this place to where,
37:00as another man, see me, at least even wanted
37:03kind of hook Elizabeth up with his son.
37:06Yes, yep.
37:06And you are stirred like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
37:09that's not going down.
37:11I want to marry her.
37:12And then you share with your dad,
37:13and your dad kind of gives you this godly,
37:16encouraged to say, okay, what are you gonna talk to her dad
37:18about?
37:19Yes, he does.
37:20And it actually took me like two weeks to get up the nerve
37:22to go talk to her dad.
37:24Wow.
37:24Which seems kind of ridiculous and retrospect,
37:26but that was where I was at at the moment.
37:28Yeah, but at the time.
37:29Yeah.
37:29Yeah.
37:30So I finally talked to her dad,
37:32And he asked me a number of questions.
37:34And one of them I really remember was,
37:36well, how many children do you want to have?
37:38And I said, well, as many as God would give me.
37:40And he was like, well, how many is that?
37:42Is that six?
37:43Is that 12?
37:44And I was like, well, 13 would be fine.
37:47However many God would give me.
37:48And he was pressing into that question,
37:50because that was really important to Elizabeth.
37:52And I'm really glad he did,
37:54because that was also important to me.
37:56I wanted to have as many kids as God would give us,
38:00because I still children as a blessing from the Lord.
38:02So anyway, that was another part of our experience.
38:04And then so we had literally one date
38:06before I went back to college.
38:08And so, and I was in Texas, she was in Iowa.
38:11And so we dated long distance for five months.
38:14Lord provided a way for her to come down and visit me once.
38:17And I went up to, I was able to visit her once in Iowa
38:20through an interview process while I was looking for jobs.
38:24And then five months in, I was like,
38:27I don't know what other questions
38:28I wanna ask of this girl.
38:29I want to marry her.
38:30And so then I talked to her dad about,
38:31can I propose to your daughter Elizabeth,
38:34and he gave me the affirmative.
38:35And so I went ring shopping,
38:38and surprised her on December 30th.
38:40So.
38:41Man, that's amazing.
38:42You know, I love that.
38:43My wife will tell you, I told her
38:46that it doesn't take a whole day to recognize sunshine.
38:48You know, it doesn't take, when you know what you're looking for,
38:51it doesn't take a whole time to identify that in a person.
38:56And so that was just, I love hearing those testimonies
38:59and I tell people long engagements,
39:01I would be cautious of that.
39:03But that's wonderful.
39:05So now you pursued her, you went ring shopping
39:10and you guys begin building your family.
39:12And one of the things that you pointed out,
39:15which is just, is instructive for me.
39:16I have two daughters, you know, I'm a father as well,
39:19that Elizabeth's father knew her well enough
39:23to press you on your views on bearing children
39:27and having children, because he knew how important
39:29that was to his daughter.
39:31So he served as basically a screener
39:34for one of the toughest issues,
39:37most central important issues for his daughter.
39:40He served as a screener for her in that regard.
39:43So that if you didn't cross that threshold with him,
39:46you never probably would have gotten more to him.
39:48I would know.
39:49Yeah, so that is important.
39:51So when we're talking about and similar to what you describe your experience was with Elizabeth's father my wife and I are
39:59Disibling our children and to where
40:02They want us involved in the pursuit of spouses, which is prudent of them, you know, my daughters in particular
40:10We've discussed that we want if a if a if a man wants to pursue us they have to come through you
40:17You know, because we know you have our best intentions in mind
40:20you have our heart to you know us you know us already so we know that if the
40:27man that God has for us can I don't they make a different word they might say
40:32survive they might say endure they may say make it through I don't know where
40:34they would choose but make it through conversing with me then they would feel
40:37even more comfortable with that and that's a role that I am to play in their lives
40:42and the scripture gives us in evidence and foundation for that as well
40:45absolutely and I love that you're cultivating it early on with your kids
40:49that's what we're trying to do with ours. If you come, if you're the father and you're like,
40:52Hey, I want to help my daughter make this decision or I want to help my son make decision. Like if you
40:57just show up the day they start dating, it's way too late. You've got to be there all along the way.
41:02So my daughters know without a shadow of doubt that daddy's going to protect them and daddy's
41:07going to screen anyone and anybody wants to come date you. You come tell them to come top to daddy.
41:10That's right. And and that's reassuring to them. This is not a I have my thumb on the scales.
41:16as the father, this is I want to protect my daughters and I want them to feel safe
41:20and secure and that I'm looking out for their best interest and that God's can
41:24provide the right husband for them someday. And likewise for my sons like I
41:28want them coming to me for advice and I'm talking to them about the importance of
41:32waiting until they're ready for marriage and things like that so that they're
41:36preparing their mental state and so anyway I'll lodge you for that trying to do that
41:41with my own family I think that's really important. Amen. Praise God and
41:45And these are the conversations, again,
41:47they need to be standardized and normalized
41:48within the body of Christ, because I often say it this way,
41:52who you marry will either catapult you further
41:54to God's destiny for you or hold you from it.
41:57There's no middle ground.
41:58There's no mushy middle or gray area.
42:02And when you recognize how important a marriage is,
42:06first and foremost to God and the economy of the kingdom
42:09of God, and likewise to us as image bearers of God,
42:12why would we want to send our sons and daughters
42:15into the wild blue yonder to fend for themselves?
42:18No.
42:18That's not only imprudent, it violates scriptural tenet.
42:22Yes, absolutely.
42:24Absolutely.
42:25That makes sense to me at all.
42:26Well, and I think a great example of this,
42:29if perhaps some of your audiences has heard
42:31the Jukes Edwards study, which is a comparison
42:35of the Jonathan Edwards family with basically a criminal,
42:39the Jukes family.
42:40And they studied like literally 1400 of each of their descendants to see what was the result.
42:47And I won't spend a lot of time on the jukes because that's a sad story.
42:51It wasn't a lot of broken families, a lot of murderers and criminals and stuff descended from that.
42:57But the Jonathan Edwards family, like their parents died when they were still kids.
43:02But they had invested so much, Jonathan and his wife had invested so much in their children
43:07and had set them up well for good marriage, good success,
43:11and godly character, most of all.
43:13But that you can read their lineage
43:16of the hundreds of judges and of leaders, a congressman.
43:22Like there's so many great leaders
43:23that came out of that family lineage,
43:25is because of what they poured in their children
43:26and because they set them up well for good marriages.
43:29And they had godly spouses who joined the mission
43:33and helped carry it further than any one of them
43:35could have done it by themselves.
43:37praise God, praise God.
43:39Now you and Elizabeth, you have nine children,
43:42your ninth was born just a few weeks ago.
43:44Yes.
43:45What was that process like with you two coming together?
43:48And we already knew, you knew early that Elizabeth,
43:51it was important to her to have as many children
43:54as of what we're blessed them with.
43:56That was likewise important to you.
43:58Yes.
43:58What types of conversations did you all share in that regard?
44:03How you would build your family says a little bit
44:06was that a time of just harmonious dialogue?
44:10Was it, you had differences in the quantity of children
44:14you wanted to have, what was that like for you?
44:16Well, since her dad had already screened it for me,
44:19it wasn't a hard conversation at all.
44:21Now I knew she wanted lots of kids, I wanted lots of kids.
44:24And how many God would give us?
44:25You never know what God's gonna bless you with,
44:28or if he might close the womb.
44:30So we would love to have 12 kids.
44:33We'll see if God gives us that many.
44:35at nine right now. Three fourths of the way. We're getting there. You getting there.
44:39Absolutely. So that was an easy conversation and frankly our whole
44:42dating time that five months that I talked about we were asking each other a
44:45lot of these hard questions because we wanted to vet is this going to work.
44:50Yeah. And so we had like one of the things that impressed me about Elizabeth
44:54was her willingness to only talk to me on Sundays while we were dating because I
44:58was super busy in college. I was student body president. I had a senior
45:02project I was leading and a bunch of other stuff was like hey I want to get
45:05the man you were the man in other words yeah I want to get to know you I could
45:09talk to you on Sundays as you said okay so we had hours long conversations on
45:14Sunday afternoons but that assured me that okay she is okay if I'm gonna work
45:18hard and she will still support me in that and so there were there were things
45:23like that then okay but also we talked through okay what do you what's our
45:26desire to teach your children what type of church do we want to be a part of
45:29And are we going to homeschool our children?
45:32Well, of course, like no brainer on that,
45:34for both of us, second generation homeschoolers.
45:38But anyway, those were the sorts of things we talked about.
45:40And it's because we'd laid that foundation
45:43during the dating, like marriage was,
45:46okay, we're getting to know each other
45:47and how to have fun together.
45:48And we'd already laid that foundation.
45:51Man, that's awesome.
45:51Now you said it was a no brainer for you two
45:54being second generation homeschoolers.
45:56Well, do you share in our audience here
45:58why it was such a no-brainer for you,
46:00that you were going to homeschool your children
46:02when you guys came together.
46:03Yeah, well, both of us had wonderful experiences.
46:05We had godly parents who would really invest enough,
46:08not perfect, right?
46:09There's, we certainly look back and see gaps
46:11in what we would have liked to do differently.
46:14But they both gave us a love of learning.
46:16And that has carried us so far and so well,
46:20and we wanted that same thing for our children.
46:23And so we want our children first and foremost
46:25to love God and serve Him.
46:26We want them to have a love of learning so that they can keep going and learning themselves,
46:31teaching themselves as they go.
46:33And so we saw that homeschooling really enabled that and allowed us to custom tailor the education
46:39to the needs and gifts of the child themselves.
46:42And so we said we're committed to this, doesn't mean we won't supplement, doesn't mean we won't
46:46take, you know, go to a co-op or maybe even pull in some college classes early or who
46:51knows what, as along the way.
46:52Most of our kids are still young, 13 and under.
46:55So we haven't had to do a ton of outsourcing yet, but we're committed to homeschooling all
47:00the way through.
47:01Would you speak to that for a moment, the ability to customize pertaining to your children's
47:05gifts and talents and abilities?
47:07Because that's something that gets lost in our contemporary conversations about we often
47:12call it education, but in our home we call it cultivation of the mind and heart.
47:15Yeah.
47:16So for our family, I mean one of the examples is my daughter Abigail has a really entrepreneurial
47:20spirit.
47:21loves to earn money, to add value, to figure out what do people want or need.
47:27And so frankly, a lot of our work with her has been enabling her how to earn money, how to
47:33do it in a good way, like everything from raising and selling pet rabbits to selling cut
47:38flowers to processing elderberry syrup.
47:40I mean, there's all sorts of things that she's come up with and it's okay, how can we enable
47:44that and help her do it well?
47:45And then we can take, well, hey, this is a math lesson.
47:48We're figuring out how much was your income, how much was your expenses, what did you
47:51in the net in the end.
47:54So anyway, there's lots of fun ways you can tell.
47:58One of my sons is really focused on legos and puzzles
48:02and loves that sort of stuff.
48:04So how can we develop him in the math and sciences
48:07since that seems to be his bent in gifting?
48:09My parents did that same thing with me
48:12in enabling me to go to prep for engineering,
48:16because I knew early on I wanted to do that.
48:19My sister wanted to do more medical or veterinarian stuff, so they tailored the education more
48:23towards that.
48:24I had a brother who loved mechanics, and so they helped him get into mechanics school.
48:29In all of that flowed from your parents, initially, and now you, and Elizabeth, it's a second
48:34generation having a vision for your family.
48:37Absolutely.
48:40The views and opinions expressed in this broadcast may not necessarily reflect those of the American
48:44Family Association or American Family Radio.

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