December 12, 2025 · 48:48

Heart transformation is the goal. Don’t settle for behavioral conformity.

Bible & Theology

Show notes

0:00 - 15:00. 3 John 1-4 (NASB95). I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth. 15:00 - 31:00. Heart transformation is the goal. Don’t settle for behavioral conformity. 31:00 - 48:00. There is no Christmas without Christ. or call: 800-326-4543 To donate call : 877-616-2396

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Phone lines mentioned

800-326-4543
877-616-2396

Full transcript Auto-generated · 9,428 words

Transcribed with OpenAI Whisper (base.en). Timestamps are approximate. Lightly cleaned for readability; quotations from on-air callers may include filler words. Use the audio player above for the authoritative recording.

0:00Darkness is not an affirmative force.
0:03It simply reoccupies the space vacated by the light.
0:06This is the Hamilton Corner on American Family Radio.
0:11It should be uncomfortable for a believer to live as a hypocrite.
0:15Delivery people out of the bondage of mainstream media.
0:18And the philosophies of this world.
0:20God has called you and me to be His ambassador.
0:24Even in this dark moment.
0:26Let's not miss our moment.
0:28And now, the Hamilton Corner.
0:33Good evening, everybody.
0:34Welcome to the Hamilton Corner here on American Family Radio.
0:37I am your host, Abraham Hamilton III,
0:40joined by produce extraordinaire, often imitated,
0:43never duplicated.
0:45The real Jay Mac, and listen, if y'all see him out in the wild,
0:47y'all have to be careful.
0:48You get too close, you might get cut to the boy, be sharp.
0:52Telling you, be careful.
0:54Consider yourself warned appropriately.
0:56But we are ready to rock and roll with today's edition
0:59of the program at this very moment.
1:00Many of you, if not most of you, are making your transition from your part-time jobs where
1:04you generate an income to your full-time jobs where you cultivate an outcome.
1:10And as you do so, I want to remind you to do so with intentionality.
1:17Outcome cultivation requires intentional investment.
1:21There's no such thing as a ploop accidental disciple mate.
1:25Never has it happened, never will it happened.
1:28deciple making is not something that occurs by osmosis.
1:32Never forget the fig tree that the apostle John records
1:38in his gospel.
1:41When Jesus cursed the fig tree, the scripture notes
1:43particularly that it was a fig tree in leaf.
1:47It was a tree in a position where fruit bearing was expected.
1:50The reference to it being in leaf was indicative of the state
1:54of the plant because the fig and the leaves tended to appear
1:57together. So the external appearance gave a suggestion that fruit should be on the tree.
2:02The location of the tree suggested that fruit should be on the tree, but upon closer examination,
2:09the tree was found to be fruitless. A critical component in outcome cultivation and disciple-making
2:17is that we evaluate the quality of the fruit development. It's vitally important that we
2:26We do so.
2:27One of the things is just something to consider that as we are evaluating our young disciples
2:34in our church and particularly in our own children as well, after they have expressed, made a
2:41profession of their faith in Christ, we examine fruit.
2:46We look to see fruit production as following that profession, to examine whether or not the
2:53profession is consistent with the life profession.
2:56And we even say to our children in particular,
3:01if you profess to be a believer in Jesus Christ,
3:03there should be fruit in your life.
3:05There should be evidence that regeneration is transpired.
3:10And so that is something that we should look for.
3:12So as you are making your transition from your part-time job
3:15to your full-time jobs, even in this season,
3:17there is no such thing as a Christmas season exception
3:22to godliness.
3:24You know, he said that to you.
3:25Listen, December doesn't mean that you have a license
3:31to be selfish.
3:33And I'm even thinking about it like in third John,
3:35the apostle John mentions a man named Diatrophies.
3:38Bring this dude up in your conversations
3:41around Christmas at home.
3:43What did the Lord say to you,
3:44the apostle John about Diatrophies?
3:46Diatrophies, likes to always put himself first.
3:50I'm telling you, here's your reference.
3:52Third John, verse nine.
3:55The Atrophes is a self-proboder.
3:59The Atrophes is the Don King of the Bible.
4:04He's always putting himself first.
4:08Bring him up as you get home.
4:10All right, to the word I got, we go.
4:11In fact, we're gonna go to third, John.
4:12Third, John.
4:14The first four verses of John's third epistle,
4:18third canonical epistle.
4:19Third, John, verses one through four,
4:22is where we will go to start the show.
4:27All right, third John, verses one through four.
4:30And this is what God's word said.
4:31The elder, I mean John referring to himself as the elder,
4:35that dude is something he referred himself in,
4:37and the gospel is the beloved disciple.
4:39And now he's referring to himself, John the elder.
4:43The elder, y'all know, I'm joking.
4:45He does describe himself that way,
4:47but the way I'm saying it, he can say it that way.
4:49The elder to the beloved, Gaius, or Gaius,
4:54whom I love in the truth.
4:56This is something you'll find throughout John's epistles and particularly and those
5:02who were discipled by John people like poly carp in church history as John aged he is the disciple of Christ who lived the longest of
5:13Jesus's disciples, so he got to see
5:17Elder status season, saint status if you will where many the others were martyred earlier
5:22It's not that they didn't try to martyr John. They tried to boil him oil. We just didn't die
5:26But he was known as he advanced in years to talk about love all the time, the love of Jesus, the love of God, love one another, love
5:36over and over and over again and he says it right here at the beginning of this epistle.
5:39The elder to the beloved Gaius, whom I love in truth,
5:45beloved I pray that in all respects you may prosper and be in good health just as your soul prospers.
5:51For I was very glad when brethren came and testified
5:55to your truth. That is how you are walking in truth. I have no greater joy than this
6:04to hear of my children walking in the truth. Now John is referring to Gaius
6:13here as one of his children and it's a child, children in the gospel as a
6:18reference. He's, Gaius is not John's biological offspring but he's describing
6:23him as his child in the faith.
6:26And John is saying that he has no great
6:27enjoyment to know that those whom he has
6:29labored with, he's evangelized, he poured into,
6:32he's discipled, that they are walking in the very truth,
6:36that he has poured into them by the grace of God
6:38and through the power of the Spirit of God.
6:41If you were to ask me if I could distill my goal,
6:47my objective in serving my family and my children
6:54children in particular, I would direct you to this verse.
6:57Because while John is not talking about his biological
6:59offspring, you certainly can apply it and should, frankly,
7:03apply it to your biological offspring in addition to those
7:06who you have the privilege of discipling.
7:10I have no greater joy than to hear that my children
7:13are walking in the truth.
7:15You've heard me describe this before, John's usage
7:17of the term walking, he's not literally talking about
7:20a stroll, a beach side stroll, he's talking about
7:24that his children's lives, their manner of living,
7:27is characterized by living consistent with biblical truth.
7:35This is my primary objective for my children.
7:40And the reason why I can say it primary,
7:42the primary is for them to come to faith in Christ.
7:45And as a result of having come to faith in Christ,
7:47that with every breath and every tick of the clock
7:50that God gives them, that they live consistent
7:52the truth of having professed faith in Christ and submit to His Lordship in their lives.
7:59So that's why I describe it as my primary goal because you have the overarching reality
8:02of a regeneration being born again and then lives lives consisted with the truth within
8:08that context of having been regenerated.
8:13This is my primary objective.
8:15I am more concerned and committed and invested in this than any other thing concerning my children.
8:24I want them to enjoy their lives.
8:25Sure, you know, I might let them eat a chocolate every now and again.
8:30Sure, I want them to be well-adjusted adults.
8:33We're going to tell you something.
8:35Those are not my primary objectives.
8:36Those are not my primary motivations.
8:39My primary motivation is for them to be able to rejoice with my wife and babe, our children
8:46are walking in the truth.
8:47That's my primary motivation.
8:50Because it is my primary motivation, my life investment should reflect that.
8:58If something is your primary motivation,
9:00how much time should you devote to it?
9:03How much resources?
9:04How many resources should be devoted to it?
9:06Where should it fall in terms of familial priority?
9:14Many times there are people who might say verbally
9:17that they're primary, yes, amen, that's my primary objective.
9:20But if you examine their lives,
9:21you're able to look at their lives,
9:23you'll see, seems like their primary motivation is travel ball.
9:26Cause like how much time is devoted to travel ball?
9:28Look how much many resources are devoted to travel ball?
9:31We won't even let Gavin with the same for worship to get in the way of travel ball
9:35We'll adjust the entire family calendar to accommodate travel ball
9:41This is what I often say about the speech and speech and feet conundrum
9:47We want to and I know every believer knows this should be our primary objective should be
9:52There's nobody would say man. Hey, I'm sure for you your children walk in the truth ranks like fourth to fifth on your family's priority
10:02There's nobody no Christian would say yeah, amen
10:04Amen.
10:04Oh, of course not.
10:07But when you look at the logs, no,
10:10travel soccer, travel ball.
10:12Oh, no, no, no.
10:14I have no greater joy than to know
10:15my child made a perfect ACT score.
10:22I have no greater joy than to know my child
10:24made a perfect SAT score.
10:27I have no greater joy than to know my child pledged
10:29in the same fraternity or sorority that I pledged in.
10:35Am I sad?
10:36I didn't just think that I said that out loud.
10:39Do I even need to get to these expressions of devotion?
10:44I have no greater joy than to know my child.
10:46You're gonna be fly when he step on the campus.
10:50I have no greater joy than for my child
10:52to have a vast array of sneakers to choose from.
10:59Now, again, I'm not just saying what you say.
11:02I'm saying what we do, how much time we invest in it,
11:06how many resources we devote to it.
11:12I can't tell you the number of times
11:13it's had conversations with believers.
11:17In the end the conversation will be,
11:18Man, I need to spend more time in the Bible with my child.
11:22Amongst believers, I'm not talking about people or unbelievers.
11:26What I'm saying very simply, if this is what we desire,
11:30then our life investment should reflect that.
11:36I'm gonna say something and I've said this before
11:38and I know it sounds controversial to some people,
11:41but you will never find in scripture
11:42where the Lord says that parents are commanded
11:46to outsource our responsibility to evangelize our children
11:51to somebody else.
11:52you'll never find that.
11:54It doesn't mean other people can't help us,
11:56but what the scripture communicates
11:58that it is our responsibility as parents,
12:00and foremost, it's the responsibility of fathers.
12:05Ephesians 6-4 is one of the primary scriptures
12:07that articulates this.
12:09Malachi 2-15 talks about it.
12:10It's Psalm 127, Psalm 128.
12:12We can go a whole host of scriptures.
12:16But Ephesians 6-4, the command is fathers.
12:19Don't exasperate your children.
12:20Rather rear them in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
12:25That is a command brothers and sisters.
12:27That is not a suggestion.
12:29The scripture communicates that this is an imperative from God,
12:33that we fathers are ultimately responsible for.
12:37Ultimately.
12:39This is one of the primary reasons,
12:41and I don't live on Mars.
12:43I live in the same world that you live in.
12:45I know about them.
12:46I'm very well aware of the prevalence of brokenness.
12:49But this is one of the things I bring up
12:52in the unfortunate circumstances when men will tell me,
12:55man, I'm having problems with my marriage.
12:56I'm thinking about throwing in the towel.
12:58I'll remind them, have you considered your mandate
13:02from God because under your children?
13:05Because under your children,
13:09have you considered what your selfish decision
13:11that you're considering, how that will impact your ability
13:14to obey God in this way?
13:21My expression in this beginning segment
13:26is has kind of a fine, it's kind of pointed
13:31because I'm gravely concerned that not enough
13:34Christian parents are taking this scripture seriously,
13:37sufficiently seriously.
13:40So we might say we want our children to be Christ followers,
13:42we want them to be disciples,
13:43but our life investments and our life priorities
13:45don't affirm that statement,
13:48that where other things are deemed as priorities.
13:52I heard a lot of say,
13:53hey, why can't I have Christ following
13:55and access to Harvard or whatever,
14:01I believe schools to be equally pursued.
14:03And I say one of the primary reasons is because God has no rivals.
14:07The very moment you put God on the same plane with anything else is the very moment you have
14:13diminished the place that God should have.
14:18And what I found is that when you Matthew 633, that thing, seek ye first, God's kingdom,
14:25his righteousness, very often if not usually these other things, you know, things that the
14:31Gentiles seek will be added.
14:36But if you shoot for the things that the Gentiles seek, you very well may secure them.
14:43And then find that that actually became a source for your child to be derailed.
14:49I have no greater joy than this.
14:53To hear of my children walking in the truth.
15:00HGTV has changed over the years and not necessarily for the better.
15:05The seemingly wholesome home and garden television has decided it would be clever and funny to
15:10to hint at an expletive in the title of one of its newest shows.
15:14The alternative spelling is so poor that children can still read it and repeat it.
15:19Obviously I won't say it here, but you can go to 1millionmoms.com to find out more and
15:24urge HGTV to rename the show, 1millionmoms.com.
15:35Shiting Light Into The Darkness, this is the Hamilton Corner, on American Family Radio.
15:41Welcome back to the Hamilton Corner, Abraham Hamilton III here and I'm delighted to have
15:44in the studio, she's becoming a frequent guest now.
15:49None other than my wife, Mrs. Maria Hamilton.
15:52Thank you for joining me here on the show.
15:53Thank you for having me, babe.
15:54Well, I wanted you to come back
15:56because we were really getting to it last week
16:01that we ran out of time before we ran out of show.
16:03This is special clock.
16:04And yeah, the clock was disrespectful telling you.
16:08And we had began, we started a conversation
16:12about the distinction between heart transformation
16:16and behavioral conformity, sometimes as parents,
16:20and I guess I'll take a step back.
16:26Sometimes the application of discipline is employed
16:32by parents because well, this is the way my parents did it.
16:35This is what I'm aware.
16:36Well, I'm not gonna talk about this kind of behavior
16:38and we don't necessarily understand
16:40what God's heart concerning discipline
16:43and what the objective should be.
16:45Right. All right.
16:46From the scripture, the objective of discipline
16:53is actually intrinsic in the word.
16:55There's a root word to the word discipline.
16:58It is disciple.
17:01So the objective of the application of discipline,
17:04it should, as I read in the first segment,
17:06I have no great to join in and know that my children
17:08are walking to the truth,
17:09the application of discipline should be employed
17:11for the purpose of heart transformation,
17:14also known as repentance,
17:15as opposed to merely limiting that to behavioral conformity.
17:21How have you experienced that?
17:25And before you get to the experience, I would say,
17:27how would you articulate the distinction between the two
17:30to someone who would ask you?
17:31Yeah, so I think it's important
17:33that we understand the character of God
17:36and know his word and understand what he expects of us.
17:42Understanding though, that it's not just our
17:46Efforts alone, but that we respond in obedience.
17:51And so I think it's important that we know that
17:55biblically, not just like our idea of God
17:57or our understanding of what we've been taught
18:00from the pulpit or wherever, but that we know it
18:02from scripture, that we understand his character
18:04and we understand what he expects of us
18:05in our response to him.
18:07And so then the most important thing I would say
18:11is that as we are being made disciples,
18:14as we are being transformed in our character,
18:16as we are growing, like the Bible says from glory to glory
18:20and being more like Christ,
18:22abandoning and removing from us any sin,
18:25any selfishness, any ungodly character qualities,
18:28that we would then see that in them as well, right?
18:31That we would impart to them by correcting
18:34and modeling and instructing daily
18:38how they are also supposed to be like Christ, right?
18:40that our goal is to make Christ-like-ness
18:45the standard and normal, normative in our home, right?
18:49But we have to be that first,
18:51like we have to be disciples first,
18:53and then as we are growing, we're never gonna arrive
18:55at perfection and then be ready to disciple them, if you will,
18:58but as we are being discipled by the Holy Spirit
19:01and convicted and everything of our sins
19:02and our mind is being renewed by understanding the scriptures,
19:05then we do that with them daily, right?
19:08And from young, right?
19:09We can go into practical things later,
19:11but young, we can start doing that.
19:13And contrasting that with just like,
19:16we were talking last time about just making sure
19:19that the child obeys in my presence,
19:21or making sure that their behavior is modified
19:23to what I prefer is insufficient.
19:26Because either outside of us,
19:28or when they get older and leave,
19:30all that's gonna be done away with
19:31because it was never rooted.
19:32It was never, it never had an anchor in the truth, right?
19:36It was just, I just went, in my house,
19:38don't do this or in my houses how we operate. But then the communication even though you don't
19:42intend is for it to just be modified while you're here while you're on those circumstances. You just
19:46kind of placate your parents until later on then you go wild. And then we justify that. You know
19:51we say oh it's teenage years or it's adulting or whatever it is but in reality the child was never
19:56discipled. And so that is a big contrast. Of course when they're little you can do some modification
20:01and behavior and teaching but there has to at some point you have to get to the heart of the matter.
20:05Yeah, but even with that early behavioral modification, offerings that are made,
20:10it's made en route to something else. There's no satisfaction. There should be, I should say.
20:16There should not be, I should say, any satisfaction at the modification of behavior that's not reflected,
20:23reflective of a heart transformation. Now, it's so important, what we seek to do,
20:30and we'd encourage all believers to do likewise, is to always anchor everything
20:34that we engage in in scripture.
20:35So you mentioned about the reality of being disciples.
20:38It takes disciples of Christ, disciples to be disciple makers.
20:43You cannot be a disciple maker if you're not a disciple yourself.
20:46And Deuteronomy 6 explains that.
20:48You know, you shall love the Lord with all that you are, your heart, your mind, your soul,
20:52and you shall teach this love of the Lord that you have diligently to your children.
20:58It is not either or.
20:59However, there is no mandate, no requirement of perfection.
21:05I must be perfect in order to be a disciple of.
21:09That's not what it says.
21:10In fact, Matthew 28 explains that as you go, you are to make disciples.
21:14So we are engaging, especially when we are parents, in making disciples as we are being
21:21sanctified.
21:23It's not either or it's both and.
21:25So with that in mind, can you kind of,
21:30I don't know if this is an anecdote,
21:32but if you want to use an anecdote or not,
21:33however you want to answer this,
21:35can you give an example kind of an illustrate
21:38the distinction between heart transformation
21:40and behavior modification?
21:41Yeah, so I got all the stories.
21:43You got all the stories.
21:44No, I'm just joking.
21:44So because we have six kids, right?
21:46So there's like ample.
21:47Wait, say that again real slowly.
21:48We have ample content.
21:50And ample.
21:51Father.
21:52Because every day, right?
21:53It's a full-time job.
21:54So our oldest son would be described as the rule follower,
22:00the easy one, we thought we had it all,
22:02you know, under control, we were parenting him,
22:04and he's obedient, everything.
22:07And as he grew, you know, we realized that he was always
22:13wanting to make sure that he was following the rules,
22:15he was very intentional about,
22:17he was very responsible, right?
22:18Like he was very intentional,
22:19by making sure that he understood what was expected of him,
22:22and he wanted to follow through.
22:23And if he didn't, it would be catastrophic for him.
22:28And then he turned 14.
22:30And we love him dearly at 14, but he turned 14.
22:32And that's what it's a critical age.
22:34And it's an awesome time also.
22:37When they start and him particularly started
22:42wanting to stand on his own, finding his footing
22:46and wanting to realize and understand what do I believe
22:49and how do I live this now?
22:51because it's no longer my formative years of mommy told me
22:54what to do, daddy told me what to do,
22:55and I did it because it's right to obey your parents, right?
22:59But now it's I want to live this out and obey my Lord, right?
23:02And so at that point we had to talk to him a lot
23:06about what it looks like to fully surrender to Christ.
23:09Because it's one thing to behave in a way
23:12that you know is right because you've been taught
23:15that it is right.
23:16And it's another, and I'm saying this,
23:18I'm using this in the example not to say that
23:20He only got it at 14.
23:21He's been developing in this way,
23:24but it is critical that we understand
23:26that a child that is a rule follower is one thing.
23:30A child who is surrendered and in love
23:33and passionately pursuing God and the will of God
23:36is the different ball game, right?
23:38So he was a rule follower and we could have been pleased
23:40and said, you know what, this is such a great son.
23:42Look how great we did with him.
23:44Like, wow, he obeys all the rules
23:46and he's so God, like he's gonna be such a responsible man.
23:50And he's gonna, you know, he's so intelligent in schools,
23:52or he's gonna get all the good grades,
23:54and he's gonna, you know, get a good job
23:56and make all the money and have a stable life.
23:59And he's not gonna be in the streets or in jail.
24:01Okay, I'm not pleased with that alone, right?
24:04Because that, we, as humans, say at times
24:08that it is the zenith of what we're trying to produce
24:11in our children, but that's not biblically accurate, right?
24:14So what does I will say?
24:15He says, it says, be imitators of Christ,
24:18be imitators of God.
24:19Christ like this is what I want to see in him, not merely role following because he knows
24:24his right or pleasing us because he knows what we expect, taking out the trash because he knows
24:29his chore, or even responsibility or intellect.
24:32I want him to be passionately pursuing the Lord and to receive conviction and desire, maturity
24:40and heart.
24:42And so at 14, he started going through some things and we were sitting with him and explaining
24:47to him.
24:48What has happened thus far is that we have,
24:52by the Spirit of God, laid the foundation for you
24:54to understand who God is.
24:55Like we asked him during that time,
24:57do you believe that God is?
24:58Like is there any way you can go and you can refute
25:02the fact that God exists?
25:03No, he was equipped with apologetics, like he knows it,
25:06right?
25:07But now it was a transition period in his life where he was like,
25:10okay, I need to know what I need to know that what I believe,
25:14I can live and I can obey the voice of God
25:17and I can defeat my flesh and crucify it.
25:20And I can continue to walk with the Lord.
25:23And the enemy was coming for him, you know?
25:24And so it was awesome to start seeing now,
25:27we're seeing a lot of that solidifying in him
25:31where he is joyfully daily walking with the Lord, right?
25:37Like where he's intentionally saying,
25:39I'm taking it one day at a time,
25:40I'm understanding more and more what it means for me
25:43to walk with Christ.
25:45And we continue to pray
25:46because we want that passion to be ignited in all our children.
25:50But I just want to make that distinction with him using that example of role-following,
25:55but then a heart capturing, right?
25:57Where he wants to read the Bible every day now.
26:00So what you're illustrating, man, I shouldn't have stopped you,
26:04you were saying he wants to read the Bible every day.
26:06Because he was, we would say, we would require pretty much,
26:10you read the Bible every day, you have your own quiet time with the Lord,
26:12and then we have our Bible study together.
26:13And he would do it because he's a rule follower, right?
26:15then we have some children, you know, we can go three and three.
26:17We can go three that are a little bit, you know, and then we got three that are
26:20rule followers. So we have some that are like, Oh, I forgot. Oh, I don't want to.
26:24And I'm like, sir, ma'am, I need you to read your Bible that that is, you know,
26:28so we kind of, but with him, it was like, yes, ma'am, I read my Bible.
26:31I did it. And I, you know, checked off the box and it's good. And that's,
26:35that's good. But that's, that's modifying behavior to, to do what we've
26:40expected of him. But now he wants to read the Bible.
26:43Now he goes in and he's desires to know what God is saying, you know,
26:47and he and he wants to be intentional about what content he consumes.
26:51It's not just we cannot watch this because that he said, no, now it's put, turn that off.
26:56That's not good.
26:56He like helps the little ones, right?
26:58And he says, that's Phil, if I don't want to watch that.
27:01So I'm saying there's a, there's a transition that you see, that you vividly see
27:04when it is just rule following all the way into a self conviction for himself.
27:09And he wants to do what is glorifying to God.
27:12I think that's an important point that you just illustrated because sometimes we think
27:17not in textured enough
27:20Terms and ways because we might think oh it's out white rebel or you have the disciple not realizing
27:27There could be a circumstance where you have a child
27:30Who is disposed to rule following even who because they respect you as parents
27:36They want to be obedient
27:37but that in and of itself is not solely indicative of a heart that's devoted to Christ in personal relationship to him.
27:44Is that what you're saying?
27:45Yes, because if you think about it, it's sometimes even easier,
27:49because it takes a little, I don't want to say less discernment,
27:52but it takes, it is more obvious, right, when you have a rebellious child and we got them all, right?
27:58So I can go down the list.
28:00We have one that I went to war with this child from four to, what, like seven to eight years old.
28:06I'm talking about war every day. All right, this child is like me
28:10So we were going at it for the sake for everybody else and though of course cuz I know you're talking about but are you talking about a son?
28:15You talking about a daughter? Oh, I'm talking about a daughter this time younger elder daughter older than the son you just talked about
28:22No, no, no the oldest daughter that we have I know the name names. I know that they made a younger she younger than the
28:28Oldest the oldest the rule follower then our second one we were like Lord. What have you done?
28:33So our second one needed a lot of help.
28:36Yes, I'm right here at the clarification.
28:38There you go, my bad.
28:39Gotcha, gotcha.
28:40Okay, all right, I'm getting it together.
28:41Okay, so our daughter, who is the oldest daughter
28:43but second child, she, you know, is wild in our ways.
28:47And so we were going to war.
28:48But here's the thing, here's the thing.
28:49I'm talking about my baby like that.
28:50I know, I know, I love her dearly.
28:51And she, guys, I'm telling you, I'm talking about fruit.
28:54You talking about a drastic?
28:55I need to bring them all in.
28:56Yeah, a drastic difference between a child
29:00who is rebellious to a child who is producing,
29:04there's fruit being produced in her life,
29:06like exhibit A, exhibit A with this child, right?
29:09And so, but we went to war.
29:11It's easy, well, let me say it differently.
29:13It is hard to go to war every day,
29:15but it is easy to identify rebellion
29:17because it is obvious and clear and exposed.
29:21It is, pick that up, no, put your clothes away.
29:24I don't wanna do it.
29:25I mean, that's easy because clearly the rebellion is like,
29:27you know, it's there.
29:28Well, the rule follower, the rebellion is not as exposed,
29:31but you start seeing it when they don't want to defeat
29:35that flesh and crucify it, right?
29:36So I'm just explaining that difference,
29:39but yes, no, we've had them all, we have them all, right?
29:42When you have a lot of kids, you got got all of them.
29:45So anyways, to your point, yeah,
29:47with the harder child or the strong will child,
29:52it is incredibly important that we do the same thing,
29:54that we don't just rely on, okay,
29:56I'm gonna do what you say,
29:58because I don't wanna be punished.
29:59When you grow them to the place where it is a heart conviction,
30:02it is a decision that they have made
30:06because the Holy Spirit has pricked their hearts
30:08and they desire to glorify God.
30:10And then you'll see fruit beyond,
30:12because let me tell you when we were going to war,
30:14I was like, hey, I don't see any fruit.
30:15What am I doing?
30:16Like my way's my time, I'm doing it wrong.
30:17And you second guess and you question all that.
30:19But then you get to a point where you're like,
30:20okay, the Holy Spirit does that work here.
30:23Man, the question that immediately comes to my mind then
30:28is, you know, we have, you say we have six children.
30:31Sometimes, as parents, and I guess let me zoom out
30:35a little bit, I think it's vitally important
30:38for husbands and wives to develop a unified vision
30:44concerning their investment,
30:47and engagement, investment into their children,
30:49engagement with their children,
30:51but also this additional component.
30:52So if you have a scenario where you have multiple children,
30:57Sometimes parents can fall into a pattern
31:01of rinsing and repeating.
31:02So you have one child and you do it this way.
31:05And then you do the exact same thing with a next child.
31:10But sometimes that can be frustrating
31:13because the next child isn't necessarily
31:15identical to the previous child.
31:17Kind of a one size fits all of approach.
31:20What would you say if someone,
31:22you came across or learned someone was kind of employing
31:24and one size fits all approach
31:25was starting to have some challenges in that regard.
31:28Well, I mean, first of all, let me just say that.
31:30Oh, well, I got one minute.
31:31That's real quick.
31:32Wait, wait, wait.
31:33You don't have to be quick.
31:34There's more respectful music.
31:34The mute is disrespectful.
31:35Maybe give an introductory comment,
31:36and then we'll come back and touch it out.
31:37Yeah, well, I was just going to say very briefly quickly
31:40that we don't come up.
31:41We're not trying to say that we do all things,
31:44but we do go back to scripture.
31:46And how does God parent us?
31:48And how do we then, therefore, parent our children?
31:51That's really good.
31:52You're listening to the Hamilton Corner or watching.
31:55And today you have a special treat because I hope you all enjoy this much as I do.
31:58I love being able to spend time with my wife.
32:01And we're having a conversation about the reality that heart transformation is
32:05what we're looking for, not merely behavioral modification and conforming to
32:10behavioral changes.
32:11What we're looking for is contrition at the heart level.
32:15And it is when our children are made disciples themselves that they have the
32:19wherewithal to be salt and light in this dark and dying world.
32:23Stay with us. We'll be right back.
32:25The God who speaks.
32:31And of course, He went beyond even the Old Testament law in the Sermon on the Mount saying,
32:36you've heard it said, you shall not commit adultery.
32:39I will tell you that if you've lost it in your heart, you have already committed adultery.
32:43And then I realized something. I can't believe less than Jesus believed,
32:50and He had absolute confidence in the Old Testament.
32:54the God who speaks at resources.afa.net.
33:04The Hamilton Quarter podcast and one-bitted common
33:07terrors are available at afr.net.
33:10Back to the Hamilton Quarter on American Family Radio.
33:15Welcome back to the Hamilton Corner, Abraham Hamilton,
33:17the third, along with Mrs. Maria.
33:19I put that Mrs on there.
33:21You saw that, huh?
33:21Hey, put some respect on that name.
33:23Some spec on it.
33:25We're having a conversation.
33:26And my wife said this earlier, and I just
33:27want to reiterate it, guys.
33:28We're not, I'm not here like Dr. Spock,
33:3115 ways to be successful.
33:34Nah man, we are cobalydians in the faith.
33:37We are Christ followers.
33:39You know, we're just, you know, hungry people
33:42who found bread and try to say, man, listen,
33:43there's some bread over here.
33:45If you're hungry, there's some bread over here.
33:47Because we're still in the throat,
33:48you're not standing here, polished.
33:50And I, children, still in our house,
33:52our oldest is now, 15, we got a soon to be four year old.
33:56We still got dirty diapers we're dealing with
33:58some instances, man, I'm just way in the trenches with these, what I'm saying, and simply want
34:03to offer encouragement as a co-beligerent in endeavoring to invest in the multi-generational
34:16commitment to rear Christ followers in this quagmire of society that is dark.
34:24That's the heart that we're coming at this with.
34:26But I asked the question of you babe,
34:27before we went to the break,
34:29about the reality because sometimes we can get in these modes.
34:32Again, my dad and mom did it, this is how we did it.
34:36Or we had one child and with this way,
34:38you tried the exact same thing with another child.
34:40And sometimes because children are different,
34:44they're not all the same.
34:45The one size, just all approach sometimes
34:48really just puts us in a position to be frustrated.
34:50And we may not understand why.
34:52And you started by answering,
34:53consider how God, the heavenly Father,
34:56interacts with all of his children in different ways
34:59and their learning styles and communication styles
35:02and all of those different things.
35:04And I asked you, what would you say to a person
35:06who kind of had a one-size-fits-all approach
35:10to parenting, but kind of hit a wall in frustration?
35:12Yeah, so I mean, because when the scriptures say
35:16in Ephesians 5, it says, therefore be imitators of God.
35:20As their children.
35:21As their children, right.
35:22And because remember, the same model
35:24we talked about last time, the student will become like his teacher.
35:28So the only way we can ever know how to parent the right way is if we understand how God parents
35:37and that we obey the scriptures as clear as it's said.
35:41I mean, it is simple.
35:42Therefore, be imitated as God as your children.
35:44Let me just add on this qualifier.
35:45The right way is not saying this is the method.
35:48The right way is the most effective way to invest.
35:53God's grace and his sovereign grace that he reaps the harvest that we're attempting to invest in,
35:58which is third John 4, having no greater joy than in our children or walking in the truth.
36:02And I've said this numerous times, what we're talking about is not a guarantee for this result.
36:06It's not you put a quarter and then you get a Coke at the vending machine. It is what is foremost
36:11required of a servant that he be found faithful. So it is us getting clarity from God's word
36:15as to what our investment should be. And we trust him with the results. And the reality is
36:20that when we go God's way, God's results are far more likely than if we go contrary to God's way,
36:26yet hoping for God's results. Yeah, and I mean, we tell the kids all the time, right? They listen to
36:30veggie tales, God's way is the best way. So that's really what it is. So when we... As old school veggie
36:34tales, that's right. Oh, I know. I mean, you know, filled in, filled in when all of them, filled in,
36:39turned to kerna. Yeah, yeah, but no, but it's, that's really where we are getting this from. It's
36:46And how does God parent us?
36:48God knows us, he gave us a unique fingerprint.
36:51He knows us the depth of who we are.
36:54So I mean, he knows better than we know ourselves, right?
36:57He knows he can examine the heart.
36:58So he knows us.
37:00Since he knows us, he's our creator and then he knows us,
37:03then he knows what we need, when we need it,
37:06how we need it, when the revelation needs to come,
37:09when to apply pressure, to prune,
37:13when to reveal.
37:15all the things that we need to grow to be more like Christ,
37:18he knows.
37:20Can we know our children to the same level in capacity?
37:23No, he, we don't have that.
37:24We don't create a God, right?
37:25We're not divine.
37:26We're not divine.
37:27But are we instructed by God to know our children
37:30the best that we can?
37:30Yes.
37:31And every single child is different.
37:35Every single child, even though we can group them
37:37in like strong willed versus rule followers,
37:39there is their unique things that God put in each child
37:42for his glory.
37:43And so God desires that we envision
37:47and envision our responsibility fully
37:51and understand that it is indeed a full-time job.
37:54I mean, it'll take time.
37:55It takes time to know our children.
37:57And so that's one of the primary reasons
37:59why we disciple at home.
38:00Like I need to know who this child is,
38:02how he reacts under pressure, how he reacts in joy,
38:05how he reacts in easy times and hard times.
38:07What is it that he's been toward?
38:09Like what is it that's in there?
38:11Seeing this of civil nature.
38:13It takes time. So when we examine that, and then we also seek God's wisdom and insight as to who the child is, what is the direction we need to point him in?
38:21Of course, generally speaking, scripturally, you know, like with the foundation on the shouldn't be like Christ, but then uniquely to that child, right?
38:30And so the more we know them, the better we can parent them, right? So when we, I can, we, and we've said this, you know, people say, well, you're being unfair.
38:37if you say yes to one and no to the other.
38:39I'm sorry, but I have to say no to one and no to the other
38:42based on the child and based on,
38:44thank you, you said it right.
38:45Okay, based on who the child is
38:48and based on the wisdom God has given, right?
38:50If I have a child who is a rule follower
38:52and the enemy comes in and wants to have him
38:56or her lean toward legalism,
38:58I have to address that differently
39:00than if I have a child that's like,
39:01where's the rule?
39:02I don't care, is there a rule?
39:03I don't even know.
39:04And then crosses the line, right?
39:05like we have to parent them differently.
39:07I can't say no, a blanket, and it's easier, right?
39:10It's easier to parent one-size-fits-all.
39:12That's the bottom line.
39:13It's easier to say, don't do that,
39:14and that's what we don't do that.
39:16And then you just kind of, you just go and watch YouTube
39:18and then your room.
39:19You have to parent actively and intentionally.
39:21It seems easier in the moment.
39:23Oh, it's so detrimental.
39:24Ultimately, man, and I'm thinking several different things.
39:26Like one of the things that's coming out
39:29from what you're saying, and I hear this off the news,
39:31there's no correct, there's no manual for parenting.
39:34I was like, I know people mean when they say that,
39:37but when the word of God says that God's word is efficient,
39:44pertain to all things concerning life and godliness,
39:48that all includes parenting.
39:50Yeah.
39:51I would argue that the greatest manual, if there it,
39:54if you will, for parenting is God's holy words.
39:58But we have to seek him in his word for its application.
40:02And in addition to that,
40:04which you're illustrating like having different children.
40:06Like if there's one child who is a rule follower,
40:08they have the potential to lean towards legalism.
40:11Then you have another child who is a what who?
40:14There's no line that they need a more rigid structure,
40:18if you will, because the objective is for them to know
40:22Christ.
40:23And for those who are born again, who've made a profession
40:25of faith, for them to walk in the newness of life
40:28that a Christ follower walks in.
40:30One of the things that came to mind in having kind of
40:32that distinction that would interrupt the pension
40:35for a one-size-fits-all approach.
40:37Even with sharing the gospel, you know,
40:39there's an often added to the issue,
40:40you give the law to the proud,
40:42and you communicate God's grace to the humble, right?
40:46They're different people, but they're different things
40:48that they need that will respond to them,
40:50to those who are proud in and of themselves,
40:52well, they need the law.
40:53Because sometimes those who are self-satisfied,
40:56it's like you have to get them lost
40:57in order for them to be saved.
40:58They have to become made aware of the depth
41:02of their depravity in order to recognize,
41:04oh man, God's free gift is tremendous.
41:08Then conversely, a person who is humble.
41:10They are patently aware of, man,
41:14I've made a wreck of my life.
41:16I've made a mess of my life.
41:18Those people may require to be introduced to God's grace
41:22to recognize that even in all your wrecks,
41:25God causes all things for those who love Him,
41:28for those who love Him and are gonna go to this purpose,
41:30even the stuff that you call a wreck,
41:32God can make a masterpiece out of that.
41:34And it's the different,
41:35why do we think that wouldn't apply to parenting?
41:37That's right.
41:38The same type of understanding.
41:39That's right.
41:40And a part of the parental investment,
41:45is that simply put, it's not about us.
41:48It's not about what we're more comfortable with.
41:50It's not about what we're more familiar with.
41:53Who is this image bearer who has its own fingerprint,
41:57its own unique DNA that God has brought to the world
42:00through us or in some instances, if we've adopted
42:02or whatever, who is this unique image bearer?
42:04We also have instructions in a different way,
42:06for example, like husbands to wives,
42:08husbands dwell with your wives.
42:09That's not all this is.
42:11Husbands dwell with your wives in an understanding manner.
42:15What requires me as a husband to be a student
42:17of who this wife is, God is entrusted into me,
42:20so that I can serve her in the capacity
42:22that God has called me to.
42:24The same thing applies to our children.
42:26Yeah, yeah, no, it's the same thing.
42:28And the same thing from my end, when the Bible says,
42:30respect your husbands or submit to your husbands.
42:32I know my prayer early on,
42:34not having been had the marriage,
42:37biblical marriage model before me,
42:38was Lord help me to be the wife that aid needs me to be.
42:41Because I have to be, I am special for you.
42:45And likewise, you are special for me.
42:47So who are you?
42:48What are your strengths?
42:49What are your weaknesses?
42:50How do I help you be the man that God has called you to be?
42:53That is my role, I own it, but I have to know you.
42:56I have to know you individually and specifically.
42:58And so that does that with us.
43:00And so we must do that with our children.
43:02I mean, when we are at home
43:05and we are dealing with their sin, right?
43:07When things, when they start fighting, for example,
43:09or silly things that they do or, you know,
43:11selfish things they do.
43:12Let me be clear something from the block like me.
43:13When you say fighting, they think-
43:14Okay, let me.
43:16Fisk.
43:17Bring it to the suburbs.
43:18Here's the truth.
43:18When you say they were fighting to me,
43:20I literally think somebody is throwing punches.
43:22Hitting someone.
43:23I mean, that has happened too.
43:24Let's keep it real.
43:25Yeah, maybe not punches but slaps.
43:28No, yeah.
43:29Maybe a punch or two.
43:30Yeah, I was saying.
43:31But, a verbal disagreement is an argument.
43:35Okay, so we won't be clear.
43:36That's what we're saying.
43:37All right, this will be, this seems Jeff is not,
43:39it seems like, yes.
43:40Okay, so more often than not, it's arguing.
43:42But there are times.
43:43My mom, why say she don't mean blows being thrown?
43:45Man, I'm talking they be a mean to each other, right?
43:47Okay, so that's suburbia, sorry I'm from the suburbs.
43:50So, she ain't from the block.
43:52No, no, no, no.
43:53So anyways, but.
43:54Don't breathe from the block.
43:55No, please no.
43:57Um, so anyways, but they're arguing and they're, you know,
44:01being selfish and ugly to each other.
44:03And, and we got to bring in the back to scripture.
44:06No, no course, just thing, no silly, Justin.
44:08Like what are we doing?
44:08We're imitators of Christ.
44:10So I'll answer turns away.
44:11Yes.
44:11Yes.
44:12Answer turns up anger.
44:12Yes.
44:13Consider others before you sell all of these things.
44:15That's right.
44:15And we say that is sin.
44:17Yes.
44:17So, so we are not belittling them as human beings.
44:22Right.
44:22We're not devaluing them.
44:23so they can have low self esteem by who they are.
44:26No, but we are highlighting that that
44:27that is coming out of your heart right now is sinful
44:30and sin will destroy you, not maybe not if not once about,
44:34it will destroy you.
44:36So we gotta eliminate that.
44:38You should wanna eliminate it.
44:39I wanna eliminate it.
44:40God once eliminated.
44:41So let's work toward eliminating that sin that says mine,
44:45right, that sin that says, I wanna do it
44:47and I don't care about you, that is sinful.
44:50So it's not just applying rules,
44:52it is examining the heart dissecting it and saying,
44:54Hey, join me, join me as I parent you in,
44:58in eliminating sin from your heart because it will destroy you.
45:02And when our kids buy into the reality,
45:04because it's true, it's not they run into it because it's,
45:06you don't comment in our home.
45:07It's because it's true.
45:08They buy into the fact that sin destroys them
45:10and God provides a way of escaping,
45:12God provides a way out and God provides salvation
45:14and sanctification, they will live it because they are owning it.
45:18They know sin will destroy me.
45:20Right. And with this process, right?
45:21but I'm saying that they understand it mentally.
45:23Yeah, let's talk to that a little bit, man.
45:25We'll have a few minutes.
45:26It's respectful.
45:28Let's talk a little bit about that.
45:29When it incensurizes, if an antidote comes to your mind,
45:32we could use that to illustrate this.
45:34How do we, as parents, when an incensurizerizes,
45:37you're talking about arguments initially,
45:39how do we plump a plunge to the depth of highlight
45:44and the fact that this is sinful conduct,
45:46not merely bad conduct and secondarily,
45:49How do we navigate the distinction because before the children are saved,
45:53the fact that something is sinful may not resonate with them to the same degree,
45:57but once they are born again, having something being presented to them that's sinful,
46:01how is that response thereafter?
46:03So, when we've had experiences, so when we have a child,
46:07and we can use our middle one, right, we can use our middle one,
46:11he's a joy, but I go to war to him too, yes.
46:15him to yes. And so Lord, we pray for him daily. I mean, we're
46:21a problem daily, but you know, anyways, but with him, we have
46:24with we've had moments where he does not want to do right, because
46:30he's strong willed and he he wants to please himself. And so
46:34there was one time where we gave him a rule. And we say, you
46:36are not to purchase a video game, you are not to purchase a
46:39video game without our permission, which is like, all right,
46:41really quickly, and I'm gonna go quick. He ended up buying the
46:44they're going, you know, game.
46:46And I could not believe it.
46:47I was like, no, he did not just cross that line
46:49that boldly, right?
46:50We figured it out boy, we brought them in that closet.
46:53Why aren't we brought out the bill?
46:55We displayed our love.
46:56Very much. We loved him very much.
46:58By the way, the scripture said,
46:59let's say, spare to Ross Ford,
47:00I said he who spares a rod hates his child.
47:03Yeah, it's Lord.
47:04So, but weekly, my point is saying that I can't answer
47:07your question as elaborately as I would want to.
47:09But at the end of the day, what we had to show him,
47:13and I'm talking about going back to his room
47:15and opening the Bible.
47:16We whipped him and then we went back to his room
47:18and we opened the scriptures and we brought him
47:20to a clear understanding, and I believe it was Romans,
47:23but a clear understanding of sin and what it does.
47:26And so a blamed deceptive disobedience
47:30is not only like, oh, you hurt me or even you hurt God,
47:35it is this behavior will end your life.
47:39Like this behavior will destroy you.
47:41And so he was convicted and he cried and we walked him through several days of like understanding repentance and
47:47understanding forgiveness, being forgiven, being restored, but there had to be a level of depth that we got to with him,
47:53where he understood again, there's still, you know, more to go. But at that point, he understood,
47:59oh my gosh, what I have done will destroy me so much. It wasn't just like, oh yeah, I get the game now, right?
48:04Or I get punished. No, it was, oh God, you know, so yeah.
48:08Yeah, and in the concept of the influence and the effects of sin on us is a critical component,
48:17but it also directing to the heart of God and explaining all of this. I'm so upset that I
48:21asked that question so late in the show because the music is so disrespectful. But at the end of
48:26the program, I guess I must bring you back again. Jeff Gintard is seeing you in the studio. He told
48:32me he didn't say that. He didn't say that. Thank you all for tuning into the show. You all have a
48:36the views and opinions expressed in this broadcast may not necessarily reflect
48:43those of the American Family Association or American Family Radio.

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Aug 28, 2024

Politics & Policy
Bible & Theology
Culture & Media

George Barna released a new study that shows Evangelicals are more likely to be shaped by the prevailing culture than we are to influence it.

0:00 - 15:00. Matthew 5:13-14. Is the church in America salt of the earth or have we become lightly salted? 15:00 - 31:00. A pre-recorded joint interview with Tim Walz is how Kamala Harris wants to pr…

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Jul 15, 2025

Politics & Policy
Bible & Theology

The Epstein saga has more enduring capacity than President Trump realizes. Callers weigh in.

0:00 - 15:00. Psalm 133. The Kingdom of God is not of this world. 15:00 - 31:00. Minneapolis has its own Socialist Mayoral Candidate. 31:00 - 48:00. The Epstein saga has more enduring capacity than Pr…

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