September 1, 2025 · 47:47

("Best-of" Edition from 10/28/22) Maria Hamilton, Matriarch of Hamiltonia, has returned to “The Corner.

Bible & Theology

Show notes

0:00 - 14:00. Genesis 3:1-7. Presence requires more than physical presence. 14:00 - 31:00. Maria Hamilton, Matriarch of Hamiltonia, has returned to “The Corner. 31:00 - 48:00. God’s instruction for marital leaving and cleaving is not only prudent. It’s essential. | 1-800-326-4543 ext. 345 To donate call : 877-616-2396

References & links

Phone lines mentioned

1-800-326-4543 ext. 345
877-616-2396

Full transcript Auto-generated · 8,610 words

Transcribed with OpenAI Whisper (base.en). Timestamps are approximate. Lightly cleaned for readability; quotations from on-air callers may include filler words. Use the audio player above for the authoritative recording.

0:00Darkness is not an affirmative force.
0:02It simply reoccupies the space vacated by the light.
0:06This is the Hamilton Corner on American Family Radio.
0:10It should be uncomfortable for a believer to live as a hypocrite.
0:15Delivering people out of the bondage of mainstream media.
0:18And the philosophies of this world.
0:20God has called you and me to be his ambassador.
0:23Even in this dark moment.
0:26Let's not miss our moment.
0:28And now the Hamilton Corner.
0:32Good evening, everyone.
0:34You have made it.
0:37What a week.
0:38This has been so far.
0:41But you've made it to your on your way to the weekend edition of the program.
0:45My name is Abraham Hamilton the third.
0:47I'm your host.
0:48This is the Hamilton Corner.
0:50Thank you for tuning in to the show.
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2:00audio streaming at aFR.net.
2:02No matter how you are listening, we thank you.
2:04I thank you for tuning in to the program.
2:08At this very moment, many of you, if not most of you, are making that transition from your
2:12part-time jobs where you generate an income to your full-time jobs where you cultivate
2:18an outcome.
2:20you are making that transition, I want to remind you, just as I do on a daily basis, nearly daily
2:26basis, that what goes on in your house is far more important, far more important than what
2:32goes on in the White House. I know there are a lot of things happening in the world, a lot
2:35of very important things we talked earlier this week about the deployment of the 101st
2:40US Army Airborne Division to Europe. Yeah, that's happening. But none of those things
2:49should provoke us a listfulness or hopelessness or despondency that
2:54militates towards neglecting what goes on in our homes.
2:57We need to be about our father's business.
3:00And the beginning of that responding to what the Lord requires of us
3:05should start in our home.
3:08So as I said earlier, what happens to your house is far more important than
3:11what goes on in the White House, even when the White House is occupied by a
3:15person who seems to fall asleep during television interviews.
3:21Yeah, yeah, you saw that what that was what Tuesday you saw that on Tuesday, but we are going to turn
3:28to the word of God now as we do on a daily basis. I'm very excited because I have a special guest
3:33in studio. You can't see my guest yet, but I can't. But they hang it out for the first segment. We'll
3:39bring them in for the second segment. Genesis chapter three versus one through seven is where I want
3:45to begin. Genesis chapter three, but before I get to those that specific, those specific passages,
3:51is I want to make sure that I set up some things that are important to understand beforehand.
3:57So we've talked before that one of the best things we can do in order to develop a biblical
4:02anthropology as well as having a proper understanding with God's design was for mankind before
4:12we were infected with the true invisible enemy, sin, the true virus, that there's only one inoculant
4:22is not an injection that you give from Dr. Frouci sin before the human kind before human
4:31kind was infected with sin before the Lord's creation was affected with sin. We get we get
4:35a great picture of what God designed for mankind in addition to understanding what God designed
4:41mankind to be before the rebellion. A couple of things just as a reminder. So in Genesis chapter
4:49Well, let's go back to Genesis chapter 1, verse 26 to 28, we have the Lord explaining,
4:54articulating and recording for us that mankind was made in his likeness and in his image.
5:01In his image, he created us, both male and female.
5:05From that we understand that both men and women are equal bearers of the image of God.
5:12We are qualitative equals simultaneously.
5:15Simultaneously and it's important to know that this is simultaneous. This is not extraneous to this not in addition to this is simultaneous
5:23To being made qualitative equals and fellow bearers of God's image men and women are simultaneously
5:30created with ordained
5:32distinctiveness
5:34Though we are equal bearers of the image of God and qualitative equals equals we are quantit. We are qualitatively
5:41We are functionally distinct.
5:45God has designed men to be different from women.
5:47He's designed men to be designed women to be different from men.
5:50This is not just something we tolerate.
5:52This is a specific design of the Creator, our Creator God.
6:00In addition to that, we find that Genesis chapter 2,
6:04the Bible tells us.
6:05And I'll just read it.
6:06Verse 8, the Lord God planted a garden toward the east in Eden,
6:12And there he placed the man whom he had formed.
6:16We've explained this before, the Bible reveals to us
6:19that Adam was not created in Eden.
6:22He was created outside of Eden,
6:24and then God plants Adam, pun intended,
6:29in the garden that is eastward from where God created Adam,
6:33which is in Eden.
6:35Go a little bit down further in Genesis chapter two,
6:37verse 15, then we find the Lord,
6:39But not only he already given us the what,
6:41having made Adam outside of Eden, placing him in Eden.
6:45Now we learn why he does that.
6:47Verse 15, Genesis chapter two, it says this,
6:49then the Lord God took the man and put him in the garden
6:54of Eden to cultivate it and to keep it,
6:58to dress it and to keep it, to cultivate it,
7:02make it maximal, make it conducive
7:08to maximal human flourishing and to protect it.
7:13All right, then we find Genesis chapter two verse 16.
7:20The Lord God commanded the man saying,
7:22from any tree of the garden, you may eat freely,
7:24but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil,
7:26you shall not eat for in the day that you eat from it,
7:28you will surely die.
7:30That's verses 16 and 17.
7:32So we have three things that we see in Genesis chapter two.
7:35The God creates the man, places him in Eden.
7:37We've talked before, Eden is a place
7:39with spot of God's presence.
7:41The first thing that God gives man before the rebellion,
7:43he makes man to be a man of his presence.
7:47Mankind was designed, particularly.
7:49Men, we were made to be men of God's presence.
7:51The next thing we see, verses 16 and 17,
7:54God made men to be men of his word.
7:58God gave the instruction about the tree to Adam.
8:03Thirdly, we see in verse 15,
8:05God made men to be men of his work,
8:08place in the garden to address it and to keep it.
8:11All of that is foundational to properly understand
8:14what happens next in Genesis chapter three,
8:16which is where I want to focus.
8:18Genesis three, verse one, here we go.
8:20Now the serpent was more crafted in any beast of the field,
8:24which the Lord God had made, and he made and he, sorry.
8:26And now the serpent was more crafted
8:28in any beast of the field which the Lord God had made.
8:30And he said to the woman, indeed, as God said,
8:34you shall not eat from any tree of the garden.
8:37The woman said to the serpent,
8:38from the fruit of the trees of the garden we may eat,
8:41but from the fruit of the tree,
8:42which is in the middle of the garden,
8:43God has said, you shall not eat from it, or touch it,
8:47or you will die."
8:52Verse four, the serpent said to the woman,
8:54you surely will not die.
8:58For God knows that in the day you eat from it,
9:00your eyes will be opened and you will be like God,
9:02knowing good and evil.
9:05When the woman saw that the tree was good for food,
9:09and that it was a delight to the eyes,
9:11And that the tree was desirable to make one wise,
9:13he took from his fruit and ate.
9:17I've explained to you guys before,
9:18I remember reading that thinking,
9:19what in the world is going on here?
9:22Where is Adam as all of this is happening?
9:24Where are you Adam?
9:25Isn't it God who made you to be a man of his presence?
9:29Isn't it God who made you to be a man of his word,
9:31which includes the responsibility of accurately conveying
9:34your his word to those from God
9:36that's placed within your jurisdiction?
9:38Thirdly, has not God made you a man of his work
9:40to both cultivate and to keep or protect the garden
9:44and those in the Lord's trust,
9:46entrusted to your care and within your jurisdiction.
9:49Where is Adam?
9:51We see in chapter three, the anatomy of what I call
9:53the anatomy of the rebellion,
9:55that you have the serpent, the talking snake,
9:59conversing with Eve.
10:03The beginning of the conversation includes Eve misquoting
10:12God's instruction.
10:15Verse three, but from the fruit of the tree,
10:17which is in the middle of the garden,
10:18God has said you shall not eat from it or touch it.
10:20That she will die.
10:21Is that what God said?
10:22No.
10:24Eve is misquoting God.
10:26Adam, Eve is misrepresenting the instructions.
10:28Where yet?
10:32Verse four, the serpent says to the woman,
10:34you will not surely die.
10:37For God knows in the day that you eat from it,
10:39your eyes will be opened and you will be like him.
10:46Eve reveals in this moment that she is being seduced
10:50by the suggestion of the talking snake,
10:53because verse six reveals that when the woman
10:55saw that the tree was good for food,
10:57that's less of the eyes,
10:58and that it was the delight to the eyes,
11:01that's less of the flesh,
11:02and that the tree was desirable to make one wise,
11:05a pride of life, after being consumed,
11:07seduced, and enveloped in all three
11:10of these categorical temptations,
11:12the Bible then reveals,
11:15she took from its fruit and she ate.
11:18But that's not the end of the story.
11:20Look at the latter part of verse six, and she gave also to her husband with her and he ate.
11:28Then the eyes of both of them were opened and they knew that they were naked and they sewed
11:33fig leaves together and made for themselves loin-clevering.
11:37The Bible reveals that the entire time eves conversation with the talking snake, the revelation
11:44of Eve being seduced and deceived by the talking snake, the evidence of Eve misquoting God,
11:50perverting, twisting what God has said and her yielding to the lust of the eyes, the lust of
11:59the flesh and the pride of life when all of these things transpired, Adam was right there
12:07and said nothing.
12:08And if there's any ambiguity concerning whom God determined to be responsible for the entire
12:15affair. It was not until Adam also partook of the forbidden fruit that the eyes of both of
12:24them were open. And when the scripture says their eyes were opened, it's not as if they
12:27were walking around with the optical lenses closed all along. No, their eyes were open before,
12:31but now for the first time in all of human history, that mankind has not introduced to
12:36a source of knowledge that God did not desire for them to procure. It's not that he wanted
12:42ignorant, but it's the Old Testament pronouncement of the of the reality that we learn later that the
12:46Lord wants us to be innocent to evil. But this transpires is what not was not until Adam ate the fruit
12:54that their eyes were opened and then later on in that same chapter after the breach transpires
12:59Yahweh comes back. He doesn't say, where are you says Adam? Where are you? This is one of the sources
13:06of scripture that reveals the reality, particularly for us as men that you can be
13:13present and not present at the same time.
13:17Presence biblically requires far more fellows than physical presence.
13:23We need physical presence, but physical presence must be accompanied by functional presence.
13:30God made Adam an ambassador of his word.
13:34God made Adam the protector and cultivator in the garden.
13:38What we have revealed in Genesis chapter 3 is a dereliction of duty.
13:42Now here's the thing, this dereliction of duty has had cataclysmic consequences.
13:50So cataclysmic, you and I, are still overcoming the results of Adam's dereliction of duty.
13:57Very similarly, much of what is transpired on our society, the transformation of the
14:02American culture has occurred on the watch of men whom God has placed in the various
14:12He's going to these place that sin to cultivate and to keep it being entrusted with his word
14:17and being entrusted with his presence.
14:18But we've had maybe physical presence in many instances, not even physical presence compounded
14:26by a functional absence.
14:29It is high time, especially for us men, especially for us husbands, especially for us fathers that
14:37we get beyond physical presence.
14:39I mean, even not even physically present, that's the first thing.
14:41to become physically present,
14:43but to make sure our physical presence
14:45is accompanied by functional presence.
14:48If we would reestablish ourselves
14:50and begin functioning once again as a prophets, priests,
14:54providers and protectors of our homes,
14:56we would see the ship in our society begin to be righted.
15:07Shiting light into the darkness,
15:09this is the Hamilton Corner, an American family radio.
15:12Welcome back, welcome back to the Hamilton Corner,
15:15Abraham, Hamilton III.
15:16Now if you're watching the show,
15:17you probably can tell why I was so befuddled in the first segment.
15:20Couldn't get my words together.
15:23I still get nervous every time she comes in studio.
15:29My guest is my lovely wife, Maria Hamilton the first.
15:37I describe her as the matriarch of Hamiltonia.
15:40Hamiltonia.
15:41That's what our children call our family, Hamiltonia, by the way.
15:46But before we get it, go further than the show, I want to remind you that November
15:4912th, Saturday November 12th at 6 p.m. local time. I will be ministering at the Christian
15:56Life Academy's Building for Keeps event. It will be at the Cross Creek Resort, the address
16:03for which is 3815, State Highway 8 in Titusville, Pennsylvania. In order to come, you have to
16:11get your tickets and the deadline for ticket purchasing is November 9th. You won't be able
16:17to get in at the door so you need to get your tickets beforehand. And the ticket also includes
16:23dinner for the evening. Again, it's November 12th at the cross greet resort in Titusville,
16:29Pennsylvania. If you're in the area or willing to come to the area, I know some of you have
16:34even seen me message, hey, I'm a see you in Pennsylvania. I can't wait to see you in Pennsylvania.
16:40is going to be an amazing, an amazing time.
16:44All right.
16:46Well, I invited my wife onto the program
16:49to discuss something that unfortunately,
16:52I don't think gets just talked about or taught enough
16:58in our society and I'll set this up
17:01by reading it straight from the scripture.
17:02We were looking in Genesis earlier,
17:04learning from the Lord's Word,
17:06getting a glimpse into who God created man to be
17:08before the rebellion.
17:08And then in Genesis three, we looked at
17:11the particularities of the rebellion where we saw that physical presence is not synonymous
17:16with functional presence. But we learned something else in Genesis 2 after the Lord announced
17:22Adam's purpose for being placed in the garden to dress it and to keep it. Then the Lord
17:28makes the observation in verse 18, then the Lord God said, it's not good for the man to
17:32be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him. After the Lord makes that observation,
17:39you'll find in verses 19 and 20, the Lord doesn't respond by revealing to him a wife or making
17:45a wife for him and then then then then then then the next thing you get to see is Adam
17:49beginning to operate in what God ordained for him to be.
17:53After that, the Lord reveals his wife to him as it says in verse 21.
17:58So the Lord God caused the deep sleep to fall upon the man and he slept.
18:02Then he took one of his ribs, took out, sorry, took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh
18:05at that place.
18:07The Lord got fashioned into a woman, the rib which he had taken from the man and brought
18:11her to the man.
18:15The man said, this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.
18:24She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man.
18:29Then God narrates the scene, verse 24, for this reason shall a man leave his father and
18:35his mother and be joined to his wife and they shall become one flesh.
18:43Some translations there say, therefore, shall a man leave his father and mother and cleave
18:48unto his wife and the two shall become one flesh.
18:53What we have articulated for us there is that the Lord establishes as the archetype for a
18:59a man who would be a candidate for marriage,
19:01that the parental source of the familial unit
19:05from which he derives, or the original band,
19:07if you will from which he derives,
19:09includes a mother and a mother and him the son.
19:14The would-be husband soon to be, the groom to be,
19:17is now loosed from that original band
19:20and becomes a foundational rubric for a brand new band.
19:24Hence our modern terminology of a husband or house band
19:29for which the Lord says he leaves the original band
19:32and is joined to his wife in the formation
19:33of a new band cleaving to his wife
19:37hence the description of leaving and cleaving.
19:39Now I wanna bring my wife in on this
19:42because one of the things that I've noticed
19:45just anecdotally in my own interpersonal interactions
19:47and even traveling around and speaking in different places,
19:50it seems that we've lost our understanding,
19:53our comprehension of what it means to leave and to cleave.
19:56What are your initial thoughts after hearing me read the scripture?
19:59Yeah, we see that a lot, unfortunately.
20:01I think because there's so much brokenness in our society,
20:07we're coming from broken, a lot of us are coming
20:09from broken marriages, and we're coming from broken environments,
20:12and we're coming from places where we are not being taught
20:15thoroughly, specifically what the Bible teaches about this.
20:18And so we are trying our best to figure out,
20:21even though those of us that do get married,
20:23trying our best to figure out how to do this,
20:26and we have a lot of wrong understandings
20:28as to what marriage is even,
20:30that we don't understand what it means to cleave,
20:33to leave and to cleave.
20:35And so a lot of that brokenness is brought in
20:37to the union, you know?
20:38And it's really sad to see it play out.
20:41We've seen it.
20:41Yeah.
20:42One of the things that happens guys,
20:46that happens that is greatly unfortunate,
20:49but it's prevalent, it's prevalent.
20:50You have two people, a husband and a wife,
20:52who mean well love each other, want to be committed to each other.
20:55And then they get married,
20:57but it seems the marriage consists not of
20:59the husband and the wife and the potential future all spring.
21:03But it's the husband, his mom and them, his paran, uncle,
21:08but it seems all of these people have sway within the marriage.
21:14And then on the wife side, you have, you know, mom and sister,
21:18aunt, Nissi and Nini and not realizing the marital unit was
21:27never intended to consist of all of these different people.
21:30But when you have all of these different people that have input into the newly formed familial
21:38band, it actually has the potential to have a deleterious effect, a negative eroding effect
21:48on the marriage over time.
21:50I think there's a distinction to be made there as well because you know how you hear people
21:55saying when you get married, you marry their family as well.
21:58And so the understanding there that we could take is, yeah, we are marrying into a family,
22:04right?
22:05There are people who matter who are now where once upon a time strange is, but now they belong
22:09to the family as a whole, the extended family, and there is love and respect and consideration
22:14and selflessness that we both have to exhibit in regards to our families.
22:20But going beyond that is where there are problems, right?
22:23Or that we invite problems.
22:25Because it's one thing to say you have married into your family, but our union, you and I,
22:31and the family that we are now starting with our children and then going forward in our
22:36posterity, we cannot bring opinions of our lovely family members.
22:44And outside input into our union, especially when it's not grounded in the Word of God,
22:53because then we can talk about the different types of input that we can get.
22:58But I think there's one thing to say about what we are marrying into each other's family,
23:02so there's respect and there's love and there's consideration and there's selflessness when
23:05it comes to that, but not necessarily for them to dictate how we will run our household
23:10or how we interact with each other.
23:12Yeah.
23:13And I think one of the great deficiencies in this regard is a failure to understand priority.
23:20in relationships. When the scripture says, for this cause,
23:23shall a man leave his father and mother. It doesn't mean that you eliminate relationship,
23:28that you eliminate, eliminate love and commitment and relationships, so to speak.
23:34But it means that there is a transition in priority for the newly found band,
23:40which as the scripture reveals, should be led by the husband. For this cause,
23:46shall a man leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and the two shall become
23:51one flesh. We've described this before on by design. I didn't understand as fully
23:56then as I understand now, but I remember when we got married and I told you about this,
24:02the Lord led me to sit down with my parents and my siblings. I have three sisters and two brothers,
24:10we have a large family, we were probably described in many circles as an enmeshed
24:15family. The Lord led me to sit down with my parents the day before our wedding
24:18and go through the scripture with them.
24:22And I said to my parents,
24:25and not just my parents, my parents and my siblings,
24:27I'm the second youngest among my siblings,
24:30that after tomorrow, guys, I need you guys to understand
24:32because of this scripture,
24:34when I use the term family,
24:38my primary commitment and family is going to be to Maria.
24:43As of tomorrow, my first consideration in everything
24:47I do with our lives, our interaction, my first consideration will be Maria.
24:54This is not because I don't love you all anymore.
24:56I love you all still the same.
24:58I'm grateful to be a part of the family with you all, but because of God's order for marriage
25:04from tomorrow forward, Maria is my priority.
25:08And I remember specifically saying because of my family, we like to have events, you know,
25:12at the time we were living in Texas, I would come in town for different things and like
25:16And New Orleans isn't always an occasion for a party.
25:18You woke up this morning, hey party.
25:22I said so when we have the next event, this Thanksgiving or something, and we decide not
25:27to come, I need you guys to understand that I have decided as the head of our new family
25:33not to come.
25:34It's not because Maria has done anything, she hadn't worked some Puerto Rican magic on
25:38me.
25:40She's not trying to pull me away from you, but that I have decided and that we have decided
25:44it is in the best interest of our family for us not to come.
25:49And then I remember looking at everybody in the eyes,
25:50he says, do you guys understand what I'm saying?
25:52Do you understand what I'm saying?
25:53Do you understand what I'm saying?
25:54Do you understand?
25:55And so everybody acknowledged what I'm saying.
25:57And I recognize the wisdom of that.
25:58Now, at the time I didn't realize how significant that would be.
26:03But I now recognize how significant that was because it's set this
26:06foundation for my family on my side of our family to understand that
26:11from tomorrow forward,
26:13Dave's priority in life is Maria.
26:15And so you guys don't need to be a mad
26:17because this is what God is ordained for us.
26:21In light of that, especially now on this side of it,
26:23how do you think that has had,
26:25that has impacted our marriage
26:26and your interaction, even with my side of our family?
26:29Yeah, so I love your family
26:32and I've loved them from the beginning.
26:33I mean, it's always been very amicable,
26:35respectful, very good.
26:37And actually was not present for that conversation,
26:40nor really aware until after,
26:42afterward. So I really appreciate it because it's covered me, right? Like, not that there
26:48was a potential for there to be any ill will or ill feelings between us because I'm very
26:56nice person. But I try to get along with people. I mean, I don't like to be so there's not
27:04yet, but I felt covered. I felt like they understood and I understood and then we can
27:09And all there's no, I guess it from the beginning, it just squashes any type of, really any hard
27:16feelings or any sin that can arise to kind of disrupt that.
27:20And we know guys, we live in a time where families are being attacked, left and right, and really
27:28by the enemy.
27:29And when people are giving over to sin, then all kinds of stuff happens.
27:34And there's people being put against each other.
27:36And all these horrible things that happen
27:40that are unnecessary if we take the steps in the beginning.
27:44So I appreciated that step you took.
27:46And if you have something else you wanted to say before,
27:49jump right in.
27:50Feel free to jump right in.
27:51In addition to that, guys, the cleaving aspect of it,
27:55this is where it gets the leaving and cleaving includes
28:01a requirement because of this prioritization
28:05of this newly formed unit because of the priority
28:08of the marriage that when difficult times arise,
28:13cleaving requires, I'll use myself for example,
28:17for me not to go to my family in bad mouth, my wife,
28:23to my relatives or to say it in the more sanitized version
28:28that if there are issues that need to be resolved
28:30within the marriage, those issues should stay
28:33within the marriage.
28:35When you open your spouse to ridicule,
28:37and this is what it is,
28:39when you open your spouse to ridicule to your relatives
28:43by including them in whatever difficulties
28:46that may be happening,
28:46now speaking to myself as a husband,
28:48you're doing the opposite of what my wife just described,
28:49when you describe Maria,
28:51I'm no longer covering my wife.
28:52I'm actually exposing her and subjecting her to ridicule.
28:58And many times when you may show up at the cookout or whatever,
29:02nothing has even been said,
29:03But relatives on the side like,
29:07like they smelled something.
29:10And there's never the intention, nobody ever tangent.
29:13You know what I'm about to drop this bomb
29:14and make my family despise my wife.
29:16That's never the goal, never the intention.
29:19But the cumulative effect of that
29:21is that you put your family in a position
29:25to where you've invited them into the inner sanctums
29:27of your marriage and welcomed them to serve
29:30as an eroding agent on the fiber of your union.
29:34I think that there's also something to be discussed in that you may have a family because people
29:40come from different backgrounds, different experiences, and you have families that are
29:45godly and they understand leaving and cleaving and they understand what you are trying to
29:51do as a husband and what the wife is trying to do as the wife.
29:53And they have the proper understanding and so they want to be encouraging and they want to
30:00pour in godliness.
30:02That's good to receive.
30:04I would even say that even in that scenario, which is the best case scenario, even in that
30:07scenario, you want to be careful that you are not allowing too much input because then it
30:14damages the oneness that you're trying to create.
30:18Man, that's so good.
30:23The oneness aspect of what we're talking about, and I want you to speak to it, we're about
30:28the disrespecting music about the kimon I can tell.
30:35The oneness cultivation and development, there's a reality as the scripture says, when the two
30:40shall become one, there is an instantaneous oneness that happens as a result of the formal
30:47entrance into covenant.
30:49But then there's also the continued development of that oneness.
30:53It's very similar to sanctification.
30:56You have the instantaneous sanctification that flows from being justified in Christ.
31:02And then you have the continued sanctification that happens throughout the life.
31:06It's very similar in marriage to where when you formally enter the covenant,
31:10there is a one that is established by God's grace, praise God for that.
31:14And there's a continual oneness that has to be cultivated.
31:17Uh, leaving and cleaving has a vital, vital role to play.
31:21When we come back from the break, I want to ask you, if you will, uh, just to,
31:25to speak to the continued development of that oneness within the
31:31marital covenant.
31:31You agree? Let's do it. Let's do it. You're listening to I say it all the time the
31:37Hamilton's Corner because I am in studio with my lovely wife as beautiful as the
31:44day I met her and we're describing we're discussing leaving and cleaving this is
31:50not only wisdom from God this is vital for the thriving of our marital unions
31:56Hamilton Quarter Podcast and One-Bitted Common Terrets are available at
32:12AFR.net back to the Hamilton corner on American family radio.
32:18Welcome back to the Hamilton's corner.
32:22I'm in studio with my lovely wife, Mrs. Maria Hamilton.
32:27Before we went to the break, we were discussing oneness
32:30in marriage, the instantaneous oneness that happens
32:34as a result of the formal entree into covenant,
32:36the covenant of marriage,
32:37but also the necessity of continuously investing
32:41in cultivating and developing the fiber of oneness within marriage.
32:45And so I wanted to kick it to you.
32:47Yeah, one thing we always do, because I guess it's very important, and this is by the grace
32:52of God, guys, because I want some community, something really clearly, we did not know how
32:57to be married when we got married.
33:00God taught us what marriage was according to His plan and what it means to continue valuing
33:10it like God values it. And so we prayed, man, we prayed, and God has shown us and we don't
33:18know how all the answers, and we're very different people. But God has maybe opened our eyes to
33:25what is important and what is most important. And one of those things is being connected
33:30and being on the same page. And we call it our love tank, but it comes from the Five Love
33:38languages isn't it from the book we read early on. And you know, just always
33:43taking in on each other and making sure that our love tanks are full and that
33:47comes with you know we have disagreements and we have different things
33:51that happen with the children or whatever it is that can cause you know kind of
33:55neglect really is what it is neglecting each other and just doing life without
33:59considering our feelings or each other whatever and so we're always checking
34:03in to make sure that we are doing well.
34:06And so almost every night, we ask each other,
34:10how's your left tank?
34:11What is there anything I've done that are not doing that
34:15has caused it to empty?
34:18And so we're always intentional about that.
34:21So I think it's very important that we value each other.
34:24And the thing that I always say that is
34:26hard to do when your emotions are all cut up,
34:29like when you're having a difficulty or an altercation
34:32or a disagreement is to ensure that I genuinely believe
34:37and therefore act in in line with the fact
34:41that you are more important to me
34:43than anything that we're discussing,
34:44than any issue that we're having,
34:45than any difficulty that has arisen.
34:49And so when I communicate that to you
34:51and then you reciprocate that to me,
34:53then those love tanks remain full.
34:56And I think that's something that is important
34:58to embrace is that you are indeed more important to me
35:02than the difficulty that we're having.
35:05And that-
35:06Whatever the issue may be.
35:07And I think the leaving and cleaving gets damaged
35:13or interrupted when we allow outside influences to dictate
35:17and we already are not valuing each other in that way.
35:19We're already not caring for our love tanks.
35:21We're already not putting each other first.
35:23We're already not valuing you or you me, whatever,
35:26as more important in the situation.
35:28And then we start talking to mama,
35:30and we start talking to sister,
35:31and we start talking to these people,
35:32because we're emotionally aroused,
35:34because of the frustration we're having with each other,
35:37that we really, and we always say this,
35:39but we're poking holes in our own ship.
35:42And we're wondering why we're sinking,
35:44and it's because we're literally poking holes
35:45in our own ship.
35:46And along those same lines, it's vitally important,
35:52including among family members,
35:56that when there are, notice I said, when not if,
35:59when there are disagreements that you make the commitment
36:02to one another to disagree in private.
36:06Yeah, yeah.
36:07Not to engage in your disagreement before your family members.
36:12It's another aspect of leaving and cleaving
36:16and fortifying and protecting your union against unfriendly fire.
36:22You know, because when invariably happens,
36:24If you engage in the details of the disagree,
36:28whatever it may be, in front of family,
36:31what invariably happens is that you put family
36:33in a position where they could.
36:35I'm not saying they would do it automatically,
36:36but where they could take sides.
36:40And in taking sides in that moment,
36:42they have the opportunity to contribute to fissures
36:46between you and-
36:48That's so damaging.
36:49That's so damaging.
36:51Not only does the, because usually what happens is
36:53that family takes the side of the person
36:55that belongs to their biological family, right?
36:57So then the in-law.
36:58Wait, did you tell them that equal opportunity?
37:00No, no, no, no.
37:01So the in-law, you know, the person,
37:03the in-law, whatever, it's always left out.
37:06And then stop.
37:08Listen and say hello.
37:10And so that, and that makes you feel like it's them,
37:14including your husband or your wife against you,
37:17and that is, as to be the worst feeling ever.
37:20But yeah, we have something that's called a united front, right?
37:23And it's not like we're fronting like fake in it,
37:26but what we're doing is we are presenting a United front
37:29and even including in front of our children.
37:31So what we're always intentional about,
37:33guys, we're not perfect at this.
37:35We have disagreements.
37:36Abe is very difficult to deal with at times.
37:39And I'm always perfect.
37:40So it's just really difficult.
37:42That's not speak truth.
37:43That's kidding.
37:44But in those moments of like heightened frustration,
37:48trust me, I have felt them and experienced them
37:49and he has too with me.
37:51We want to make sure that we are not exposing our own frustrations and our spouses, you know,
38:01stubbornness or whatever we're feeling that they're doing to everybody because that's
38:06none of their business.
38:07And in reality, it causes more damage than it causes good than it brings about good.
38:12Even if the external sources are well intended and like they have well good intentions, it
38:17still causes a division because you got to deal with that with your with your spouse, you know,
38:22after they're gone, after they've already given their two cents on whatever it is,
38:27you have to deal with healing and coming together and forgiving and really facing the
38:32the disagreement that you had. And but you already have somebody in your ear telling you
38:38something whether good or bad really, it's not something that you guys will agree to greet on.
38:42Really, the way we usually resolve disagreements is by literally, and this is, I'm telling you,
38:48I get props to my husband, y'all, because this is not what I grew up doing, nor was it my
38:53nor is it, I feel like my strength. But the man dissects, you understand me? Like, you know how
38:58he takes the word of God? And he like tells you all the Hebrew and the Greek and all dissects
39:03the scriptures, like just to you have nothing left, nothing, you have all of it left, but you have
39:08like you understand it very well. He does that with our disagreements, right? So we sit and we sit
39:15and we discuss and we talk about how we arrive there, what is it that's the deep root problem that
39:22you're having that leads you to assume or conclude or whatever, y'all, it takes time. But it is so
39:28good at the end and the during the moment, during the difficulty, it's not fun because I'm like,
39:33like, dude, leave me alone.
39:34Like, I just need to walk away because I'm mad.
39:37But we did really talk about it, and we talk about it,
39:39and then at the end, we realized,
39:41man, I understand why you got there.
39:42I understand why you concluded it, what you concluded.
39:44I understand why you assumed what you assumed.
39:46Next time, let's not assume, or next time,
39:48let's not conclude without the full story.
39:51You know what I mean?
39:52Like, things like that, that at the end, you're like,
39:53boom, we got it.
39:54And then next time, we disagree,
39:56then we're not gonna repeat the thing that we had,
40:00the issue that happened prior.
40:02And so we do that in private.
40:05When you fight in public or when you fight in private,
40:09but then you go and tell mama or sister or brother or auntie,
40:12they're gonna tell you, man, but this what you need to do,
40:14or this what you need to do, and he's wrong for this,
40:16and he's wrong for that.
40:17What you're doing is you're not allowing for you guys
40:20to work through the process of digging deep down
40:23into the root of the circumstance.
40:26And then heal together, guys, what that does for a marriage,
40:31It's beyond, I mean, it's worth, I don't have any words.
40:34It's worth more than anything you can think.
40:37Literally, it is a fortification of the union.
40:43And the converse, if you refuse to do that,
40:45so if you refuse to address the fissure together in private,
40:54what you do the opposite, while not only not addressing
40:58a fissure, but you expose your spouse to external sources of vitriol that will also compound
41:06division within the union.
41:08And what I mean, what I mean there is that you unintentionally, and nobody sits down and
41:15thinks, hey, this is what I really want to do, but you unintentionally communicate to your
41:19spouse that when the rubber meets the road, you are going to have to fend for yourself
41:25and to protect and preserve yourself, you cannot rely on me to be a source of covering and protection
41:32for you, which ultimately can invest in an erosion of unity and cuts against oneness.
41:41I just have a question for you and I don't know how I don't think we've ever discussed this in detail
41:45this way, but what would you say to the the the couple who has already invited the you know,
41:53the family members to give input and they've already exposed each other and
41:58then you know how to what would you say to that?
42:01Damn.
42:02Yeah.
42:03And how to heal and how to come back together and yeah.
42:05So in those circumstances, well, we'll have to happen this first and foremost.
42:08I'll just use us for example.
42:09I would have to apologize to you and say, babe, I realized over the course of our
42:14marriage that contrary to building oneness with you, I have been subjecting you to external
42:21sources of injury. And I am sorry for doing that. And I've
42:27repented a God about that. And from from now on, going forward, I
42:31want to rectify this. In addition to this, I want you to come
42:34with me. And I'm going to go speak to my family who I've done
42:37this to and I'm going to confess my sin before God to them. And
42:42then inform them from now on, guys, this is how we're going to
42:46go forward from now on, I'm not going to have any conversations
42:49with you about things that are going on inside my house is not
42:52not because I don't love you anymore,
42:53not because I don't value your opinion anymore,
42:54things of that nature.
42:55But I realize that I've been working against
42:57the fortification and foundation of my own family,
42:59and I don't wanna do that any longer.
43:01It's basically repenting.
43:03There's a principle of repentance and sin
43:05that the confession and repentance must go as broad
43:08as the impact of that sin.
43:10Yeah, that's good.
43:11Okay, so I would need to go before my family,
43:14let them know that I have missed,
43:19I've missed the boat on covering you in this area.
43:22And so I want to endeavor to correct that going forward.
43:26Yeah, and I think it's important to also understand
43:29that that move that you just made,
43:32because the exposure has happened
43:34and the rupture has happened,
43:35that that move that you're making is a healing move, right?
43:39To restore the union.
43:41But it is literally what the Lord desires, right?
43:44That cleaving, that cleaving and that becoming one
43:48with your spouse requires for men particularly
43:52to be the ones that set the boundaries,
43:55to be the ones that are the band, you know,
43:58that cover and protect.
43:59And so when that happens, man,
44:03what a communication with a wife is powerful, right?
44:07Cause she feels safe and secure
44:08and then she feels like we're a team.
44:10And we are always a team, guys.
44:11We're always a team.
44:12You know, we disagree, we're always a team.
44:14I think a lot of the times though,
44:16we come from environments, especially men,
44:19where manhood has not been displayed.
44:24A lot of men, unfortunately,
44:25because the enemy has been so clever.
44:27And so...
44:28So what if the consequences of the family being decimated?
44:31Yeah, the brokenness, right.
44:33That men have never seen it, nor are they equipped, I guess,
44:39yet to really set those boundaries properly
44:43and be not in the defensive,
44:46but not reactive.
44:48Proactive, there we go.
44:49To be proactive, guys, my thing is not words.
44:51Aves is a master of words.
44:54But anyways, proactive in setting those boundaries
44:59and talking and explaining in the forefront
45:02so that like you did,
45:03so that we don't have those poems in the back end.
45:06But I think it's important for men to pray
45:08and ask the Holy Spirit,
45:09because again, he's a father to the Fatherless.
45:11So even if we didn't have fathers to,
45:13as an example, God can reveal and grow us up
45:18and show us and mature us to the place,
45:20and particularly for men, on how to be that leader
45:24and that covering and that protector.
45:26And even when it's done wrong,
45:29you can go back and apologize and there's forgiveness,
45:32and then you can restore that union.
45:34I think that's very important.
45:35And that corrective maneuver,
45:37that response to your question,
45:40will often include the necessity of practical followup.
45:45For example, after having apologized
45:48and confessed that to family that we're making
45:50an adjustment, it may require, okay,
45:52next time we're around family,
45:54having a hard conversation, say, guys, please don't,
45:56please don't discuss my wife in that manner.
45:58Please don't talk about her parents.
46:00Please don't do that.
46:03On the opposite side, if you are a family member
46:06of one of your relatives who's gotten married,
46:09you should seek to fortify their leaving and cleaving.
46:13If you have a relative who wants to come to you
46:15and complain about your spouse,
46:17you should say, we're not gonna talk about that.
46:20We're not gonna talk about my daughter-in-law like that.
46:22We're not gonna talk about my son-in-law like that.
46:25If you have an issue with your spouse,
46:29you need to go and tell them about that
46:32so that you're not a party to eroding this oneness
46:37that God desires in marriage.
46:40Yeah, it's very important.
46:42I think we have to keep that at the forefront.
46:45I think our marriage is the enemy has
46:47having a blast with destroying our
46:50marriages.
46:51A lot of the times is by poking and poking
46:53and poking and poking.
46:55We are giving it into our fleshly desires
46:57and we are giving it into our sin.
46:58We are allowing all these things to become a part
47:01of our marriage and we are poking holes in our
47:04own ship.
47:05Man, I had a story I wanted to tell.
47:07What that clock and that music is disrespectful.
47:11I was going to tell another story about covering.
47:15I guess you got to come back.
47:18Oh, okay.
47:19I don't know what happened in the middle of dealing with our six
47:21chair-ins.
47:22So you've been trying to do?
47:24I see this.
47:25I see what I was doing.
47:26That's not the plan.
47:27That's not the plan, but I love you.
47:29Thank you for coming on the program.
47:31I appreciate that.
47:32Well, this has been the Hamilton Corner.
47:34you have a wonderful, wonderful weekend and may you prioritize your own marriages.
47:43The views and opinions expressed in this broadcast may not necessarily reflect those of the American
47:48Family Association or American Family Radio.

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