July 31, 2026 · 48:48

Wisdom is needed for matrimonial thriving.

Culture & Media

Show notes

0:00 - 15:00. Proverbs 15:1-2 (ESV). A soft answer turns away wrath. 15:00 - 31:00. Wisdom is needed for matrimonial thriving. 31:00 - 48:00. The Christian witness must be present with the marital union. or call: 800-326-4543 To donate call : 877-616-2396

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Phone lines mentioned

800-326-4543
877-616-2396

Full transcript Auto-generated · 9,085 words

Transcribed with OpenAI Whisper (base.en). Timestamps are approximate. Lightly cleaned for readability; quotations from on-air callers may include filler words. Use the audio player above for the authoritative recording.

0:00Darkness is not an affirmative force.
0:02It simply reoccupies the space vacated by the light.
0:06This is the Hamilton Corner on American Family Radio.
0:10It should be uncomfortable for a believer to live as a hypocrite.
0:15Delivery people out of the bondage of mainstream media.
0:18And the philosophies of this world.
0:20God has called you and me to be his ambassador.
0:23Even in this dark moment.
0:26Let's not miss our moment.
0:28And now the Hamilton Corner.
0:33Good evening, everyone.
0:34Welcome to the Hamilton Corner.
0:35My name is Abraham Hamilton.
0:36The third I am the host of this program
0:39joined by produce extraordinaire, who is often imitated,
0:46but never duplicated.
0:47You know, doesn't it say imitation
0:48is the zenith of flattery?
0:52Often imitated, never duplicated.
0:54It's the real J. Mac, ladies and gentlemen,
0:56Mr. Jeff McIntosh, and we are ready to rock and roll
0:59with today's edition of the program at this very moment,
1:02many of you, if not most of you,
1:04are making you a transition from your part-time jobs
1:07where you generate an income
1:09to your full-time jobs where you cultivate an outcome.
1:11And as you do so, I want to remind you to do so
1:14with intentionality, understanding the primacy,
1:17that God places on family.
1:19It is something I contend and assert with frequency.
1:26If we would welcome God to grasp a hold of us
1:29in our families. There's no question as to what could happen
1:32societally. Now I don't say that so that the society can be our
1:37primary focal point. No, no, no. I say that as an encouragement to
1:41welcome the Lord to grasp us in our families. I never forget
1:45there was a season to preacher who said I was praying for
1:49revival, crying out to the Lord desperately for revival. And I
1:53realized, oh, I need to put some feet to this. So I drew a
1:58circle and I say, Lord, buy your grace.
2:02Would you please revive everything in that circle?
2:04And then I stepped inside the circle with the,
2:08what the preacher was saying was that he recognized
2:11that he needed the Lord to move in him first and foremost
2:15before he sought to be a vessel through whom the Lord
2:19would move to impact others.
2:20And this is what I mean when I say,
2:22if we were welcome the Lord to grasp ahold of us
2:24and our families, you know, are we welcoming the Lord
2:28to lead us and guide us by His Spirit in our homes?
2:31Are we fathers leading our family spiritually?
2:35Are we?
2:36Not saying that we are doing it,
2:38not even acknowledging that we should do it.
2:40No, are we doing it?
2:43Some practical self-examination questions.
2:46Do we open the Lord's word?
2:50Read the Lord's word.
2:52Convey the truth of God's word in our homes.
2:56Are we washing our wives with the water of the word?
2:59Are we offering our children pedagogical instruction
3:03from God's holy word in our homes?
3:07Are we praying with our wives and our children?
3:12Are we?
3:13Are we?
3:14Are we utilizing God's word to govern us
3:18as we make decisions for the family
3:21and when we communicate decisions for the family
3:23that we anchor that communication in truth of God's word
3:26and revelation from his scripture.
3:28These are things that are features of leading our family
3:33spirits.
3:34We had a brother not too long ago in our local church.
3:37And his job announced that he would be facing termination soon.
3:45And this brother was wrestling with it.
3:47He was a soul and primary breadwinner for the family.
3:50And he was wrestling with that idea.
3:53They had made the commitment to disciple of children
3:55from the home, including cultivating their mind,
3:57that many would call homeschooling.
3:59And his wife was fully on board with that vision
4:02and they had been doing it for several years.
4:04And now all of a sudden, his job dried up.
4:06What does he do?
4:08Well, one of the first things he did was cry out to the Lord
4:11in prayer to ask God to lead him and guide him
4:13to the next steps.
4:16The next thing he did after that,
4:16talked to his wife about the reality,
4:18invited her to join him in praying.
4:20The next thing he did after that, he contacted me
4:21and told me what was going on.
4:23And told the men in our fellowship,
4:26what was going on and asked for prayer.
4:29Then there was one particular point where he was
4:33trying to determine whether or not to include
4:35his young children in on what was going on.
4:39And some people told him, no, he shouldn't tell
4:42his young children what was happening.
4:45But man, he sensed by the Spirit of God that no,
4:48he needed to involve them in what was happening
4:51because his faith was in the Lord and he said,
4:53So that when God opens the next door for us,
4:58I want them to know up front that it was God
5:01who opened this next door.
5:03And I want them to be involved in the journey with me.
5:05The young children, the boys, sons, I guess I'm going,
5:09do you think they were very, very young?
5:11You know, when I'm saying I'm thinking like, you know,
5:1310 and eight something there about, and then he asked me,
5:17you know, brother, what do you think?
5:18Do you think I made a bad choice in involving my son?
5:21and I say, no, my brother, you made the right choice.
5:25You know, your sons need to know that this Christ following
5:28life is real and they are peaks and they're valleys.
5:32And this is one of the things that God is giving you
5:34an opportunity to give your sons a tangible reference point
5:39for them to be able to come to know that our God is our Father,
5:43who is also a provider.
5:45He said, thank you brother for that encouragement.
5:47So we prayed together week after week, week after week,
5:50week after week is putting applications all over the country,
5:54different places, thought some things were promising.
5:57They didn't, they didn't pan out.
6:00Time went on.
6:03You know, his wife got a little anxious at some points.
6:05He got a little anxious at some points, but we continue collectively.
6:08When I say we, I mean, he and I, he with the men in our fellowship and he
6:13leading his family, praying consistently, seeking the law for direction.
6:17Well, as you would have it, the Lord opens the door.
6:20one interview, second interview, third interview.
6:24Actually the best circumstance, even more than he actually asked for.
6:30He gets the job.
6:33Sad for me, because he had to move away, but happy for me, because we were
6:38rejoiced with those who rejoiced.
6:40And I rejoiced with him, his wife, and his sons, because his sons had a front row,
6:45not only seat front row participation because they were involved in praying.
6:49Lord open the door for us Lord open the door for dad and they were able to see that God still answers prayer
6:56You know so it was wise for him to include them in that that's leading your family spiritually man
7:01It's not always gonna be pretty it's not always gonna be flowery beds of ease
7:05But the God that we serve is faithful. So are we leading brothers?
7:10You can talk about leading or you can lead to the word of God we go Proverbs chapter 15
7:16Proverbs 15, verses 1 and 2.
7:20This is a portion of wisdom literature,
7:22and I'm gonna read the text,
7:23and then I'm gonna have some questions for us
7:26as we walk through this.
7:29Proverbs 15, verses 1 and 2.
7:32And this is what God's holy word says.
7:35A soft answer turns away wrath,
7:39but a harsh word stirs up anger.
7:44The tongue of the wise commends knowledge,
7:48but the mouths of fools pour out folly."
7:53I read it again.
7:55A soft answer turns away wrath,
7:57but a harsh word stirs up anger.
7:59The tongue of the wise commends knowledge,
8:03but the mouths of fools pour out folly.
8:06I want you to pair two phrases
8:09from these two verses in your minds right now.
8:11The first phrase, a soft answer from the beginning of verse one in chapter 15.
8:16The second phrase, the mouths of fools, is the second phrase I want you to consider.
8:23Now with those two phrases in mind, a soft answer, the mouths of fools.
8:29Do you think this verse when it says a soft answer turns away wrath?
8:33Does the reference to softness, is that saying that an answer offered in a soft vocal tone
8:40Turn to me, right?
8:42Is this text primarily or exclusively about the tone of voice
8:47that is employed?
8:49What an answer is offered?
8:51Or is there more included in the considerations here?
8:54I've kind of already given you a hint
8:57when I encourage you to pair two phrases.
8:59What are the phrases again?
9:01A soft answer was the next one, the mouths of fools.
9:05Very often I've heard people,
9:08Minimalistically,
9:10Trans interpret this scripture
9:13to think oh this is about I just need to make sure in a heated moment to make sure that I'm speaking in a soft manner
9:20To which I would say well vocal tone certainly would be included in the concept
9:25And if you delve into the Hebrew and Hebrew word rock will will give you more expansiveness
9:31But some translations the English translations transliterate the Hebrew term here as a gentle answer
9:36not merely a lowered, lower vocal tone.
9:41You know, it's not like, you know,
9:42I guess we say stage three, Michael Jackson.
9:45Bubbles, come here, bubbles.
9:46No, that's not.
9:48The softness that is envisioned here
9:51is not limited to tone of voice.
9:55Softness employed here is placing a responsibility
10:00on the enceror, on the responder,
10:02to do a little bit of digging internally,
10:04a bit of a deeper dive before an answer is offered.
10:08Because the softness or the gentleness
10:11that the scripture has envisioned here
10:13is a softness and gentleness that corresponds to wisdom.
10:18Remember the phrases?
10:19A soft answer turns away rath.
10:21The mouths of fools.
10:23What the softness is indicating is that the answer
10:26should be one who answers with a mouth of wisdom.
10:32Everybody with me on that.
10:34So the softness that is envisioned here
10:36is not merely considering vocal tone,
10:39it is one that is given to in this moment
10:43where an answer is necessary that this moment
10:46must be steeped.
10:48This answer, I'm sorry, in this moment must be steeped
10:51in wisdom.
10:54Well, then how do you assess the answer being one
10:59that is steeped in wisdom?
11:00Well, the very first thing that I would offer
11:02for your consideration is that the cultivation
11:05of wisdom is something that doesn't just start
11:06the moment where answer is needed. The cultivation of what is necessary in the moment doesn't
11:12begin in the moment. It precedes the moment. So there's a bit of diligence and studiousness
11:21that is necessary before the moment of required answer arises. What is something to considerations?
11:30First and foremost, who am I talking to? And I'm sharing this because unintentionally,
11:35It's important for us to note it's not the mouths of the mean,
11:40that poor fourth of folly.
11:41It's not the mouths of the evil that poor fourth folly
11:46is the mouths of the fools.
11:50Very often there is ignorance that manifests itself
11:56in words and that ignorance is what the scripture recognizes
12:02as a harsh word.
12:04Let's read verse one again.
12:05A soft answer turns away wrath,
12:07But a harsh word stirs up anger, similar to the early aquari.
12:11Does harshness in this verse mean a word spoken
12:14with a bitter vocal tone?
12:19You know, you can have a scenario where something occurs
12:21and you can very softly in vocal tone say,
12:24oh, I wish you weren't so stupid.
12:28Would that be a soft answer?
12:30Though it's spoken in a soft vocal tone?
12:32Oh, no, that's not a soft answer.
12:37Why am I bringing all of this out?
12:38I'm bringing all of this out.
12:40because it applies to relationships in generally,
12:43but in particular, I am concerned about marriages.
12:50And very often, we don't recognize,
12:52but the way we use our words are often tools
12:57that the enemy uses, ultimately,
12:59to weaponize an interruption,
13:01if not an utter decimation of intimacy between spouses.
13:06All right, intimacy is far more expansive
13:10disappear to mere physical intimacy, but very often the way we use our words undermines the
13:16vibrant intimacy we truly desire with our spouses and we don't even recognize it.
13:22We don't even recognize it.
13:27The softness and the answer that is envisioned here is an answer that is steeped in a wisdom
13:34and the environment in which that wisdom is cultivated is that the answer is far more invested
13:41in the construction, the edification, the affirmation,
13:45and the substantive Christ-likeness
13:48of the one to whom we're answering.
13:50To say it differently, when the moment arises,
13:53where the potential exists for me to offer
13:55a heart's answer that stirs up anger or a soft answer
13:58that turns away wrath, my investment of primary commitment
14:04must be in the one to whom I am answering.
14:09And so I wanna invite you, man,
14:12this music is disrespectful.
14:14I want to invite you to cultivate an internal disposition of wisdom that precedes the moments
14:22when you need to offer an answer.
14:25And when your words leave your lips, that the engine that carries them forward is an overwhelming
14:34sense of love for God and love for your spouse to where the words themselves are not the only
14:42that's communicating, the manner in which they are delivered.
14:45The love of Christ is what oozes through the communication.
14:52This is the softness of answer that is envisioned in Proverbs 15.
14:56When you look at the fundamental priorities that this administration has,
15:05rebuilding the American family through the various priorities,
15:09ensuring religious freedom is alive and well and flourishing in America,
15:13Having a Department of Justice that is actually focused on enforcing the laws of the land, I have a hard time disagreeing with any of them.
15:21Join Walker Wildman and Rick Green at the core, 1 p.m. Central weekdays on AFR or on the AFR app.
15:29Shining light into the darkness, this is the Hamilton Corner on American Family Radio.
15:40Welcome back to the Hamilton Corner, Abraham Hamilton III here.
15:44Let's now want to remind you that next Friday, August 7th, the 7th, 8th and 9th, that I will
15:52be ministering at Darbonne Church of Christ in Farmerville, Louisiana.
16:00We've been there several times in the past, and it's just amazing.
16:03They keep welcoming us back.
16:05I don't know.
16:06I guess they like us a little bit.
16:08We certainly love them.
16:10So looking forward to being there for that.
16:11If you're in the area in North Louisiana
16:13or willing to come to Darbonne Church of Christ,
16:17you are welcome to join us.
16:18There's no charge for any of the services.
16:19We'll begin Friday evening.
16:21There'll be a Saturday evening service.
16:24And then Sunday morning, I will be ministering
16:27at the church as well.
16:29You are welcome to come.
16:30I'd love to meet you.
16:32Hug some next, meet some folks.
16:35And this is one of the things, man, I so enjoy.
16:37We get to get a little glimpse on this side of eternity
16:40of what we'll get to enjoy forever
16:43in the tangible presence of our Lord.
16:45So August 7th, 8th and 9th at Darbon Church of Christ
16:49in Farmerville, Louisiana, you are invited.
16:53All right.
16:54In the first segment, I talked quite a bit
16:58about a soft answer turning away wrath,
17:00and I have with me my favorite guest of all time, of course.
17:03My lovely wife, Maria Hamilton the first who is here.
17:07Thank you for joining me on the program.
17:08Thank you for having me, babe.
17:10You were in studio with me and you heard a lot of what we
17:13discussed in the first segment.
17:14You mentioned that as you were listening to me talk about
17:17Proverbs 15 verses one and two, that the Lord brought a
17:20scripture to your mind immediately.
17:22You wanna share a little bit about that.
17:24Do you want me to read the whole thing?
17:25Because that one verse is quite direct.
17:29It's Matthew 1234 and Jesus says,
17:32you're brood of vipers.
17:33How can you speak good when you are evil for out of the
17:36abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks?
17:38How can you speak good when you are evil out of the abundance of the heart?
17:43The mouth speaks.
17:44So I thought of that because first of all, the fact that Jesus is very direct and he calls,
17:50he calls it like it is, right?
17:51The evil in man's heart.
17:53So when you're talking about a soft answer turns away wrath and in relationship, especially
17:58the closer relationships like marriage, we don't consider our shows evil when we are not guarding
18:03our tongues when we are not being intentional with how we speak and how we communicate.
18:09And so, but Jesus is very direct.
18:11He calls it evil when we are reckless with our words.
18:15And then I thought about when you said, you know, it's not like in the moment you're able
18:18to respond in a godly manner.
18:20This is a heart cultivation.
18:22This is a heart condition.
18:23This is something that is done behind the scenes, if you will, before you ever get to
18:28the point where you have to respond.
18:30And so out of the abundance of the heart,
18:32like what is in our hearts toward our spouse
18:35that leads us to communicate in whichever way
18:37we communicate, you know?
18:38Yeah.
18:39I've often described that verse that you just read
18:41from Matthew 12 and describing out of the well spring
18:45of the heart.
18:46That's what the Greek text, the Greek words convey
18:48out of the well spring of the heart, the mouth articulation.
18:54Yeah, what is found therein?
18:56Yeah.
18:57And sometimes we'll say things and say,
18:59I didn't mean that and to which I was to say well
19:01I'm not so sure you didn't mean it you may not have meant the
19:04Injury that was caused by what you said you might not have meant the impact of what was stated about what you said
19:09Or you might not have a meant might not have even meant to state what you said
19:14But it does not mean what you said was not in your heart
19:16Yeah, and I'm not saying that with a broad brush saying always the case because there's sometimes where people state things
19:21You misspeak that is true
19:23especially like in my profession I do a lot of talking there there are plenty
19:27opportunities to say things less specifically or inartfully than what you
19:32went to say but generally speaking we mean the things that we yeah I just think
19:37it's a it's a lack of self-interspection like a lack of really examining what am
19:43I believing what am I thinking what is it that is in my heart about this person
19:48that I am interacting with engaging with and when we don't do that we actually are
19:52not aware that we have embraced ungodly ideas and thoughts about, especially in our marriage,
19:59about our spouse.
20:00And that can be very damaging to a relationship.
20:03Yeah.
20:04And I, you know, often say marriage is a mirror.
20:08And because of the closeness that we have in marriage, you and I specifically, I have the
20:14most frequent opportunities to hurt you and be hurt by you because of the closeness in
20:20our relationship.
20:21And oftentimes the reality is that the confines of the marital union serve as a mirror to help
20:29me to really see what's in me.
20:32Yeah, same.
20:34And sometimes we don't want to deal with that.
20:36I was, I was, and I was going to bring this up in this context specifically as it applies
20:40to the way we use our words in our marriage in Ephesians 5 verses 25 and 26.
20:48Apostle Paul is speaking by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit and he says this,
20:53husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
20:58that he might sanctify her having cleansed her by the washing of water with the
21:05word. This text, man, is so probing and convicting because it says that the
21:13consistent disposition of the husband, now let's be clear, what God requires of
21:18Christians who are husbands.
21:20Yeah.
21:21Because we know the world is gonna work,
21:22like a Jerry's gone, Carol.
21:25But for the Christian husbands,
21:26we are to love our wives as Christ loved the church
21:29and gave himself for her.
21:33When you pair this scripture with the Proverbs 15-1,
21:36a soft answer turns away wrath,
21:37what I said before, and I'll use you and I as an example,
21:40when we are conversing, including in heated moments,
21:45My primary focal point cannot be myself,
21:51my feelings, my expressions.
21:53I have an affirmative duty from the Lord
21:55to make sure my answer that by God's grace
21:59will be a vehicle to turn away wrath
22:02that you are my foremost consideration
22:04as I am responding to you.
22:06Yes, but not generally, right?
22:07Like not generally like because you're a woman
22:10or because you're not me or it's because you've known me.
22:13Like you've learned me
22:15And it's not to excuse any flaws or sin that I have, right?
22:19It's not like, oh, she, like it's not walking on eggshells, right?
22:21We're not saying that like, oh, don't say it this way
22:24because it's going to rub with the wrong way.
22:25It's not that.
22:26It is a genuine-
22:27And the genuine that's the truth either.
22:28Correct, correct.
22:30It's just very important, right?
22:32Because sometimes we tend to,
22:33so that we don't like in the name of peace keeping
22:36and that's not biblical.
22:37But anyways, so the, you have known me,
22:40like you've learned me,
22:42and it comes with, you know, learning my past
22:45what I've gone through, what areas I've grown in,
22:48what areas I've struggled in, all those things.
22:50And you know me so well that you're able to communicate
22:54in an effective manner, in a loving manner,
22:56in a healing manner too as well, you know?
22:58Well what you're saying also,
23:00and I know people might get frustrated with me,
23:02but look, here's reality that I endeavor to build my life
23:06on the rock of God's word and also to build our marriage
23:09on the rock of God's word.
23:11What you're referring to is another biblical command
23:13to husbands when the Lord says to the Apostle Peter,
23:16first Peter, three, husbands dwell with your wives
23:19in an understanding manner.
23:21So God gives me an affirmative responsibility
23:24that it is my duty within the context of being,
23:28you know, Vodie Ballcom's four P's,
23:30a protector and a provider,
23:32and a priest and a prophet in my home,
23:34that has to be done within an environmental context
23:38where I am vested in the same self sacrificial way,
23:43Love of you, loving you as Christ, love the church.
23:45I am vested.
23:46I have a command to be vested in learning you intimately.
23:50Who are you?
23:51What makes you tick?
23:53How has your past impacted you?
23:55How has your past shaped how you've come to the Lord?
23:58How has your relationship with the Lord refined?
24:02I have a duty to know you that intimately
24:04so that when I have the privilege of engaging you verbally,
24:08that going back to Howard and Scott Proverbs 15,
24:10that the softness of the answer is that it is a wisdom given by God that flows from me,
24:16responding to God's command for me to know you.
24:20Yeah.
24:20And all of that should be involved.
24:23And when I use this thing that the Apostle James says, is a fire.
24:26Remember, if I can control this, control this tongue, I can control my whole person.
24:31I have to use this in such a manner where all of that God breathed investment in my
24:37wife is present in the words I use in relationship to you.
24:41Yeah, yeah.
24:42A lot of times we hold our tongue instead of control it, right?
24:46That's different.
24:47So sometimes when we...
24:48Unpack that, please.
24:49Yeah, because sometimes we think, man, I'm not saying that.
24:52That's going to stir up something.
24:53That's going to wake something up.
24:54That's going to rub the wrong way.
24:55That's going to be misunderstood.
24:56That's going to bring about.
24:57And we're afraid of what it can cause because of whatever fallenness exists in both parties,
25:03right?
25:04when the Lord says to control it, there is like we explain with fire all the time, there is a wonderful,
25:11very good use for fire. It is limited within a fire place, if you will, because if not Elobur in
25:17the house, but it gives us warmth. We had an ice storm last year. It gives us warmth. We understand,
25:22right? So there's a use for it. So our tongue is not to be withheld. Like you said, it's not that we just
25:28remove truth from the equation, or we just hold our tongues in a sense of like not saying anything.
25:33There is truth to be told.
25:35We have to be affirmatively using our tongues, right?
25:39For edification, for building up, for restoring, for healing, for understanding, for communication.
25:44But there has to be a God-centered, Holy Spirit-led use of the tongue.
25:49It is self-control.
25:50It is not shut up, right?
25:52There are gonna be times when you will not say something out of wisdom, because God is saying it.
25:56But that shouldn't be like our default out of fear.
25:59It shouldn't be our default out of like, I just don't want to fight.
26:01Yeah.
26:02No, there has to be, we have to communicate.
26:04We're two different people.
26:05We have to be able to communicate.
26:06But it has to be done in a controlled manner,
26:08in a wise manner, you know, with edifying.
26:11I mean, and I don't know if you wanna go into this,
26:12but we have plenty of stories.
26:13And it's not even one where arguing.
26:15Like it's not even when we have, like,
26:16when we're at odds, if you will.
26:17Like when, you know, you think one way
26:19or I think another way and we're kinda clashing.
26:22It's not just in those moments.
26:23It's in the joking moments, you know,
26:25in the laughing moments, in the, you know,
26:28how far we gonna go with this joke, you know what I mean?
26:31to where it's at the expense of the other person.
26:33Those moments, that's when you have to arrest the tongue
26:35as well, it's not just in the, you know,
26:37in the fights or the disagreements.
26:39That was really profound what you said,
26:40not merely holding our tongues, but controlling our tongues.
26:43It's easier to hold it, you know what I mean?
26:44It's easier to be like, I'm not saying that.
26:45I'm not saying that.
26:46And easier in the sense of like, easy,
26:49this is what I mean, easier in the sense,
26:51it's the same thing with parenting.
26:52It's easier to let a child slide
26:55when they're doing something wrong,
26:57because it takes more effort, it takes more discipline
27:01for the person, for me, for example,
27:03if I am controlling my tongue
27:04and I just resort to not telling you nothing
27:07because I don't wanna fight,
27:08then I am, it's easier for me
27:11because I don't have to be introspective,
27:12I don't have to govern,
27:13I don't have to depend on the Holy Spirit.
27:14I don't have to be wise.
27:16I just shut my mouth and move on to the next thing.
27:18What else I gotta do on my day?
27:19You know what I mean?
27:20And that's easier, but it's not best.
27:23It doesn't produce the fruit of righteousness.
27:25It does not bring about healing.
27:26And I would say it may seem easier the moment, but over time.
27:29Oh my gosh, yes.
27:30You're digging yourself a whole event.
27:32Yeah.
27:33In the understanding of the soft answer turning away wrath, the answer is not only answers that
27:40are delivered to a counterpart.
27:44What I mean by that is there are times when there are circumstances why I have to offer
27:48answers for us to others.
27:51Yeah.
27:52Oh, man, that's such a healing thing for me.
27:55It has been a healing thing for me personally.
27:56and a softness is necessary to govern those answers as well.
28:05Because again, because of our closeness,
28:06I have the most frequent opportunity to wound
28:08or be wounded by you.
28:10So you just said the circumstances where I offer an answer
28:14for us to others,
28:16that that has been a source of healing for you in certain ways.
28:19What do you mean?
28:20Yeah.
28:21So one of the things that women crave,
28:23and I, you know, I don't, I'm not every woman in the world,
28:25but I'm not a shocker, I'm not every woman.
28:28But I know the makeup, I know how God made us.
28:32And there is a need for safety, there is a need for trust,
28:36there is a need for covering that we have
28:39because God designed us that wave
28:41when he made Adam and Eve he had that in mind.
28:43And so we crave that, we hopefully have it in our fathers
28:47growing up and when we don't have it in our fathers
28:49we are seeking that in men.
28:51And then when we get married we can bring that into
28:53our marriages, but the reality is that we seek a safety,
28:57a unity that says, I'm for you.
29:02Like we're in this together, right?
29:04And so, but it doesn't come from a, like a machismo,
29:07like I got the answer for us, her opinion doesn't matter,
29:10it's just mine.
29:11And then here's our answer as the Hamilton family.
29:14No, that is perverted and twisted and abusive.
29:17There is communication that happens, you know?
29:19There is coming together on what do we wanna do here?
29:23and what are we thinking here?
29:24And of course, we go through all the scenarios
29:27and figure out what the answer will be.
29:29And then when you give that presentation of like,
29:31this is what we are doing, this is where we're going,
29:33whatever it is, and we can talk to specifics.
29:35But what it communicates to me is that the weight of life
29:41is not only on my shoulders,
29:44the weight of decision making is not only on my shoulders,
29:47the weight of, you know,
29:51It's kind of like when you, I envision like a military,
29:54you know how like in 300 where they have the shields
29:55and they interlock them, you know, and the shields are that.
29:58What is the whole profession?
29:59Right, yes, that is a favorite movie.
30:01And the shields are interlocked.
30:03Well, it's up there.
30:05That shield is you and I'm behind.
30:09You see what I'm saying?
30:09And that to me, it gives me great comfort.
30:12And it's healing because before you, it was just me.
30:16You know what I mean?
30:17And I had to be the shield and the weapon and the fighter
30:19of this and all of that against the enemy forces, which you know spiritually are ever present.
30:25But so when you give a response, it's not just like, oh, you know, he's the spokesperson for the
30:33family and I just need to chill. No, it's a protective measure. It is, we want this. We need this because
30:41we've talked about it and that shield is very important to me, I think, for women as well.
30:46The clock is utterly disrespectful because we come in close and end of this segment and I'll start this now and maybe we'll pick it up on the other side of the break.
30:54But one of the things I told you, and this is from scripture, some of the scripture we referred to already, I said that when the Lord by His grace allowed me to take you to myself as my wife, it became my responsibility from the day we became one.
31:15to never put you in a position where you feel you are obligated to fend for yourself
31:21against the world, but also against me. Yeah. Yeah. That's very important. No, it is my
31:27responsibility as, and this is a part of the protector responsibility that is not only like a
31:35defensive protection, but it is as we are advancing that I have the responsibility of being
31:41that shield for you, not in a humanistic, self-aggrandizing fashion, but recognizing this is a part of the
31:49role that I have in your life. Like the being the shield is not merely to accomplish whatever tasks
31:55are occurring, external to our family unit, but it's also cultivating and covering you at the exact
32:02same time. That's my responsibility. And that is my continued duty and the way that I use my words
32:09were reflect my willingness or the lack thereof to man that duty.
32:16That's a mandate from God.
32:17It's a mandate from God.
32:19We'll dig into this a bit more when we come back from this break.
32:22You're listening to the Hamilton's Corner.
32:30Jesus Christ never once said, your delusion defines you.
32:34Keep it up.
32:35Christ in fact peeled the scales away from Paul's eyes.
32:38All identified as a judge in jury,
32:41theologically to go out and kill Christians.
32:43And then Jesus struck him blind on the road,
32:47introduced himself, I'm Christ who you're crucifying,
32:50peeled the scales back and Paul never returned
32:52to that life of sin.
32:53Here Todd Herman on a disciples view,
32:56weekdays 12 p.m. Central on AFR.
33:05The Hamilton Quarter Podcast and One-Minute Common Terries
33:08are available at AFR.net.
33:10Back to the Hamilton Corner on American Family Radio.
33:15Welcome back to the Hamilton Corner,
33:17Abraham Hamilton III here with my lovely wife, Maria Hamilton
33:20I and you know one of the things I want to say man is I'm
33:24not trying to sit here and present myself and we're not
33:27trying to present ourselves as if we are the standard.
33:30More than anything what we're seeking to do is to really
33:34just welcome you all to see an illustration as to how we
33:39endeavor to apply the scripture in our own lives and then welcome the the Lord to
33:44move you to see how you may want to apply the scripture to your lives in
33:52marriage because man marriage is under such attack yeah and people are coming
33:57away with conclusions and and deducing things that simply don't align with
34:01scripture that in all things the Word of God is the is the final authority in
34:06on all matters of life, on all matters of life,
34:09doctrine and practice, and that includes our marriages.
34:12You know, it's, but it's a mandate though.
34:16Like it's not, this is not like an optional thing.
34:18Like husbands cover your wives, husbands love your wife.
34:21Like Christ loved the church he gave himself for her.
34:23That's a command.
34:24That's a command.
34:25That's a command.
34:26So you call it manzing, but like it's like,
34:29man take your position, you know?
34:31And you're taking your position and you have flaws
34:34in their areas where you grow in
34:37and the Lord matures you and everything can miss you sin.
34:39Man, we're in this together though, you know?
34:40And as you're growing, I'm growing and the Lord is
34:42convicted me and showing me my errors and my flaws.
34:44And we're working together because that's the goal.
34:47The goal is to glorify God personally
34:49and myself and in yourself individually.
34:51And then collectively together we are one.
34:53And the oneness glorifies God.
34:55And nothing should separate that.
34:57Nothing should separate the enemy comes in left and right
35:00with worldliness.
35:02And we have, we have as a church, unfortunately,
35:05generally speaking, embraced the worldly understanding
35:09of how to engage with one another.
35:11It has been a worldly way.
35:13And we can go into some anecdotes,
35:15but one of the very common ones is that we ridicule each other
35:19in front of other people.
35:20It's just funny.
35:21It's funny because, and listen, Jeff will tell you,
35:24we clown, like we can clown, we can be funny.
35:27I do not know.
35:28But I am all well.
35:29No, don't worry.
35:30I'm primming problem.
35:31Do not believe.
35:32Shut and tell about it.
35:32So, we can be funny and we know each other.
35:36So, you know, but we have to understand that when we mock each other to other people, like
35:43for example, if I am over here ridiculing you to other people, I am belittling you and
35:48I am impacting that unity and that oneness or exposing you to attacks.
35:55Just but of course the husband is the one when you cover me, it can be done the same
35:58how many times have husbands and listen to me on the end of your
36:03video, if you're listening, how many times husbands have you
36:05ready to kill your wife or how long she takes to the bathroom
36:07to get ready, right?
36:09To other people.
36:09To other people, to other people.
36:11Okay, so I was notorious for being late and I, it was, I don't
36:18think it was because I was like taking too long trying to
36:20become, come out of this bathroom, you know, stunning and
36:22beautiful. It went that it was.
36:23I hope if you wake up.
36:24Stop, stop, look at him.
36:25You wake up.
36:26It wasn't that what it was.
36:28That's the best.
36:29That comes raw nuts around.
36:32What do I do now, y'all?
36:34So thank you.
36:35The issue wasn't that.
36:37My tardiness was disorganization.
36:41It was a lack of being orderly the nights before the more kids we had, the more, you
36:46know, I had to do and the more we had to do together and the less the least, I mean,
36:52the way we didn't communicate as effectively.
36:55And so it was disorder in my mind, which is what made me want to run around the morning,
36:59trying to get everything done and not accomplishing it properly.
37:01And then we would be late, right?
37:04So when we were late, it was a prime opportunity for the flesh and very common in our society
37:11for you, babe, to just go and say, man, you know how we were late?
37:15You know, we were late because she just, she, you know, and exposing me.
37:20And I expected that because that's what people do.
37:22You told you to ridicule from other people.
37:24Yes, like you know it was.
37:25Yeah, it wasn't me, man.
37:27I was ready.
37:28And being part of a clubbing target.
37:29Yeah.
37:29Or comments like, man, I was in the car waiting, you know?
37:32And she come 25 years later talking about what we need
37:35to get there, whatever.
37:36And so then, but then what does that bring about?
37:38First, it brings about commentary from others.
37:41Like, yeah, you know how women are, right?
37:43This respect.
37:45And then it more egregiously invites
37:49it increases my desire or had the potential to increase my need to, thank you, you have
37:59better words, I know, to increase my need for self-protection, right?
38:03Like I needed to guard myself, whether I thought it funny or not, or whether I could hang with
38:09this joke of like, yeah, you know it was me, which I could probably hang with, it wouldn't
38:12like, this hurt my feelings to be exposed.
38:15what it does is that it creates this environment
38:18where I can't really trust you
38:20because anything that I do that is funny
38:24or worthy of mockery, you're gonna share.
38:27Like I'll be willing to go for the punch line
38:29even at the expense.
38:30For the laughter of the men and all that.
38:31Of the trust cultivation within you.
38:32Now this is, I need to put this
38:34that should sit up and lean into this one for a moment
38:36because this brings us back to proper 15.1, right?
38:40That's 16, got one more page to go.
38:45A soft answer turns away wrath,
38:48but a harsh word stirs up anger, verse two.
38:51The tongue of the wise come in knowledge,
38:54but the mouths of fools pour out folly.
38:56There are many men in that type of moment
38:59who do not recognize that this is an opportunity
39:03to either build intimacy, build confidence in our union,
39:07build trust in our willing capacity
39:12to lay our lives down to protect our brides or the reverse,
39:17to unintentionally communicate to our brides
39:20that well, you know, if the circumstances are right,
39:23you will ultimately have to protect yourself.
39:26Now here's a question I wanna ask you,
39:28and this is important for men to know,
39:30and women too, because sometimes you feel it, my sisters,
39:33but can't articulate what you're feeling so intensely.
39:37What does that do to you, and how does that impact
39:41the maintenance of our intimacy for you to be reminded
39:46what a tangible experience that conveys to you,
39:48you know, if the circumstances are right,
39:50you're gonna have to protect yourself.
39:51Yeah, so even when your husband is present.
39:54Yeah, yeah, yeah.
39:55You're gonna have to protect yourself.
39:55Yeah, so a lifetime of that though,
39:58I know even against you, right?
39:59So, praise God, I've never had to do that.
40:02I'm so grateful.
40:03But many people experience that.
40:06And so what it builds in you is that we're in this together,
40:11meaning we signed the paper back in whatever year date
40:13we got married, we're in this together
40:16and we are, you know, we get along most of the time
40:19and then we hold our tongue so that we don't fight,
40:21so that we're good, but then we're traveling
40:23in the same direction, but we're not really one
40:25because what's been happening without us even really,
40:29like seeing it fully is that we are developing
40:34and I say we because if it is that you don't cover me
40:37in that way and you mock me and expose me,
40:38then I don't trust you and that lack of trust
40:41building, you know, even if I trust you in other areas, right?
40:44Like let's say I trust you with finances, but I don't trust you with those, these things
40:48that seem small.
40:49I care for your heart.
40:50Yes, it builds this idea of like, I don't trust you.
40:54There are certain times where I cannot trust you.
40:56So then, but then what has happened though, right?
40:58Because what happens has been for us in our marriage is that you said we're late, period,
41:05not we're late because we're, we're late.
41:08I'm sorry that we're late, right?
41:10And what that community and guys, we never, I never asked you for that.
41:13It was the Holy Spirit communicating to you from the beginning that your responsibility
41:19is to lead in that oneness, to protect it at all costs and to lead in that.
41:26So what it communicated to me in my heart was, oh, I can trust him.
41:31I don't care how many times I stumble and fall.
41:33I am safe.
41:35I'm safe.
41:36how many times my flaws are exposed,
41:38personally between you and I, I'm safe.
41:40So here's the thing, if my flaws,
41:42because you live with me, so you see my flaws, right?
41:45If my flaws are exposed to you,
41:48they remain inside of you and I.
41:51They're not outside, right?
41:53Which makes me more willing to be vulnerable.
41:57What does vulnerability create in a marriage?
41:59Intimacy.
42:01And what does intimacy look like?
42:03emotional intimacy, I trust you with all of who I am in my thoughts, with my flaws, with
42:09my weaknesses, with my strengths, with my desires, my dreams, I trust you.
42:13It also translates to physical intimacy.
42:16I trust you with my body.
42:17I trust you with my mind and my thoughts, my future.
42:22I trust you with my body physically, sexually.
42:24So it brings about a oneness.
42:26But what has that simple reality caused when you said, I'm sorry, we're late.
42:33It caused an internal, first of all, desire to want to honor God with my timeliness, right?
42:38And Lord, help me to honor you and honor my husband and the fact that he's protected me
42:41here.
42:42But also, it causes this like, oh, it's him and I against the world.
42:46Oh, I don't want to cry.
42:48But like, you're for me and I'm for you and you protect me and I protect you.
42:54Like, nobody's going to be talking about you negatively in my presence.
42:58No, this is you and I because we're one.
43:01And so it has protected, it has made it clear and evident that one of the chief priorities
43:06of our marriage is that we protect one another, that your areas where are easy to be exploited
43:14by others or there can be easily mocked and ridiculed.
43:18No, sir, not in my presence, that's not happening.
43:20And likewise, you do that for me.
43:22So it just brings about an intimacy where I'm like, my happy place is you.
43:26My safety is you.
43:28Now guys, this is not like, we're not,
43:30we can't, I can't put up a front to save my life, all right?
43:32The reality is that Abe is my favorite person
43:35in the entire world.
43:36Like I wanna be with you all the time.
43:39And I find not only the safety, the love, the nurture,
43:43the, like a sense of like,
43:48I don't have another word, safety,
43:50but I enjoy you.
43:51Like who you are is like enjoyable to me.
43:56But we have built that, we have built that
43:57because we've understood oneness.
44:01Oh man.
44:02By the grace of God, by the way, guys,
44:03like we don't come from places where we saw this, okay?
44:07Like the Lord has revealed that to us.
44:09Yeah, I mean, and that's important to note
44:12that it doesn't matter what your background is,
44:14where you came from, we all have them.
44:16But God's word is still true.
44:17No matter where we come from,
44:19God can refine and mature us
44:22into being more Christ-like day by day by day.
44:26And that Christ-likeness will impact the quality
44:28our unions and you know I tell you you're my favorite person.
44:32I mean it when I see my favorite guests and I'll end my favorite guests, my favorite person.
44:35If people think it's going I call you my way home from work even though I know I'm about
44:38to see you when I talk to you my drive on the road.
44:40And here's the thing that's that's rare unfortunately because the enemy has gripped into our marriages
44:44but it is not it should not be rare like when we get married like it's not just like let's
44:51like to the tango it like it's two people that we're just going to come together and sign
44:55a contract and be like, oh yeah, do we work world together?
44:57Like we're coworkers.
44:58No, we're supposed to be one.
45:00Like the oneness that God instituted in Genesis is extremely important.
45:04It is not supposed to be just co-laborers.
45:06It is supposed to be an intimacy, an intimacy in person.
45:10Like we want to be like-minded in the sense.
45:14Like we want to be one.
45:16And so even with our different personalities and our different flavors, and you bring New
45:19Orleans and I bring Puerto Rico and all this, but we are still one.
45:22And so I just think it's rare, but it's when we when we explain this, it's not like, oh,
45:27man, that's that's pie in the sky.
45:29We can't reach it.
45:30No, because the Lord says it's available to the peculiar.
45:33Amen.
45:34It, the reality is the life of the believer is rare in the world, but it's available and
45:39that peculiarity should also be our marriages should be peculiar as well.
45:43Yeah.
45:44But I want to revisit something because, you know, like in that instance, like I said, earlier
45:51in the previous segment, a part of my responsibility
45:54is not to expose you to external fire, you know?
45:57Between you and I, I know I knew at that stage,
46:00and I wanna say this was early on in our marriage,
46:02it did not persist in terms of your tardiness,
46:05but I'm not gonna allow the world to comment on that,
46:09nor am I going to take this as an occasion
46:12to expose the world that, oh yes,
46:15I will aggrandize myself to let show everybody else knows
46:18that I was not late, but my wife is the reason.
46:21No, no, no, by the way, ever know that,
46:22because you're more important to me
46:24than any other physical human being.
46:26That's dying of the flesh, dying to self, right?
46:28It's dying to self and growing towards living out
46:31Ephesians 5, 25, to love you as Christ loved the church.
46:34But here's the thing, I'm not gonna lie to you
46:36and say that tardiness is cool.
46:37Because it's not.
46:38But that's something we're gonna work out
46:40behind closed doors between you and I.
46:43And what happens is by leading in that fashion,
46:45we create an environment to where, like you said,
46:47it's safe, it's not only safe between you and I,
46:49but it's also safe to correct this flaw.
46:51Yes, yes.
46:53Oh, and I want to exactly.
46:54Yeah.
46:55Because the correction is constructive, not condemning.
46:58Amen, amen. It's not debilitating.
47:00It's not de-structive. It's edifying.
47:01It is edifying, and I am gloriously excited to testify
47:05that that was very early in our marriage,
47:07and between she and I now,
47:08she's more likely to be the reason why we're punctual than me.
47:11You know, even though I am very punctual,
47:12I'm still very punctual,
47:13and very things of that nature.
47:15But we worked out the flaw in truth behind closed doors.
47:19Nobody in the streets need nothing about that.
47:21That's between you and I.
47:23But that's important, fellas,
47:25because this is a part of dwelling with our wives
47:27in an understanding manner.
47:29One of the things I told my wife is,
47:31people say stuff about me all over the world,
47:34all over the country.
47:34I don't care.
47:35But what you say about me matters to me exponentially,
47:39exponentially, and vice versa.
47:42You could have the world cracking jokes on you,
47:43but if I take the occasion to big up myself at your expense
47:48in public in front of other people.
47:50That's destructive.
47:51That's destructive to you individually,
47:53but destructive to us as a human.
47:54Amen.
47:55And then God is not glorified.
47:56And then the Slytherin snake,
47:59withers, winds into another garden
48:04with a dead god surely safe.
48:05Yeah.
48:06Our marriages are worth protecting.
48:09Amen. Amen.
48:10Our marriages are worth fighting for.
48:12Amen.
48:12Let us contend with the grace of God
48:16who live the reality that this oneness is a living breathing illustration of Christ and
48:23his bride and move toward the reality that man I love Katelyn with my wife more than anybody
48:30else in the world.
48:39The views and opinions expressed in this broadcast may not necessarily reflect those of the American
48:44Family Association or American Family Radio.

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