November 7, 2025 · 49:18

Mrs. Hamilton returns: How do we communicate the beauty of holy matrimony to a people who’ve been estranged from the notion?

Bible & Theology

Show notes

0:00 - 15:00. Ephesians 5:22-33 (NASB95). The human illustration of Christ’s relationship with His Bride is, unsurprisingly, the foundation for civilizational stability and thriving. 15:00 - 31:00. Mrs. Hamilton returns: How do we communicate the beauty of holy matrimony to a people who’ve been estranged from the notion? 31:00 - 48:00. Individual and familial reformation must precede societal reformation. or call: 800-326-4543 To donate call : 877-616-2396

References & links

Phone lines mentioned

800-326-4543
877-616-2396

Full transcript Auto-generated · 8,914 words

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0:00Darkness is not an affirmative force.
0:03It simply reoccupies the space vacated by the light.
0:06This is the Hamilton Corner on American Family Radio.
0:11It should be uncomfortable for a believer to live as a hypocrite.
0:15Delivery people out of the bondage of mainstream media.
0:18And the philosophies of this world.
0:20God has called you and me to be his ambassador.
0:24Even in this dark moment.
0:26Let's not miss our moment.
0:28And now the Hamilton Corner.
0:31Good evening everybody welcome to the Hamilton Corner. My name is Abraham Hamilton the third
0:38joined by the real J Matt produce extraordinaire often imitated but never duplicated y'all know what it is Mr. Jeff McIntyre's ladies and gentlemen and
0:45We're ready to rock and roll with today's edition of the program. We're gonna have
0:49We're planning to have a really one of the most important conversations we can have
0:58Concerning our lives and our current society
1:01the gospel itself and the implications that are derived from the gospel and how we have
1:10guidance to shape our lives.
1:12I've just been pondering and praying and thinking through the reality of familial disintegration
1:21that is normalized.
1:23In fact, it's the majority of the American populations experience at this juncture, specifically.
1:31And I don't like even describing people in terms of Gen Z, Gen Alpha, Millennials, because
1:40I know that those terms are employed to facilitate an ease of quantification in demographic
1:46studies, but it really flows from the sociological brain tree that was founded really in a Marxist
1:54worldview, to categorize people, to group people in various demographics in order to
2:00assessments, but it tends to have the result of downgrading the dynamics of
2:08image-bearers and being an image-bearer of God. But the reality is,
2:15generations like myself, I'm an elder of millennial according to the way they
2:19describe these groups, generally speaking, but like millennials and younger
2:23generations thereafter, it's the majority experience for people in these categories.
2:31that they come from families where they don't have married mothers and fathers.
2:39The fathers aren't married to the mothers and the mothers aren't married to the fathers.
2:43And the term family is, it rings differently.
2:50And I think this difference is something that is kind of, we are aware of it anecdotally.
3:00It's kind of like the white noise and hums in the background, but I don't think we have processed
3:08appropriately the significance of that and how it impacts people and the decisions that they make as a result of that.
3:15So we're gonna dig into that a little bit
3:18during today's program at this very moment. Many of you, if not most of you are making your transition from your part-time jobs
3:24where you generate an income to your full-time jobs where you cultivate an outcome and as you do so, I want to remind you to do it
3:30with intentionality, recognizing that what goes on in your house is far more important,
3:40far more important than what goes on in the White House.
3:43To the word of God we go, we're going to do something radical here.
3:47We're going to read significant portions of God's word.
3:51Ephesians chapter 5 verses 22 through 33 is what we're going to begin the show about
3:57way of reminder. Paul's epistle to the Ephesians really is divided into two halves in the way
4:05that it is written. The first half of the book is written in the indicative mood in Greek,
4:10which is indicating what God has done for the believer. The second half of the book, chapters
4:14four through six, so only three to six chapters are written in the imperative mood, which means
4:21that these are commands in the second half of the book. We're going to read some of the
4:25commands that God gave to his offspring as pertains to the
4:34marriage union and the marathon institution. Ephesians 5 verse 22, this is
4:39what the scripture says. Wives, by the way, this is what the scripture says.
4:43Reiterate that real quick. Wives, be subject or submit to your own
4:49husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ also
4:55is the head of the church. He himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject
5:02to Christ, so also the wives ought to be subject to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love
5:11your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself up for her so that he might
5:18sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that he might present to
5:24himself to church and all her glory, having no spot or rink or any such thing but that
5:31she would be holy and blameless.
5:34So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies, for he who loves
5:40his own wife loves himself.
5:43For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also
5:49does the church because we are members of his body. For this reason a man shall leave his father and
5:57mother and shall be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is great,
6:05but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. Nevertheless, each individual among you
6:11also is to love his own wife, even as himself. And the wife must see to it that she respects
6:19her husband. This is what God has commanded to his people. All right. The Maritu institution,
6:32the marital institution is the only human institution, the only one of the human institutions
6:39that God has established. The marital institution is the only one that is a lustric, tiv, in
6:45scripture of Christ's relationship to his bride, the only one. It is unsurprising then that this
6:56human institution, the marital institution, is also the foundational unit for civilizational
7:05stability and thriving. That is not a coincidence. That is not a casual occurrence. Not a casual
7:14occurrence. This is a product of divine design. The Creator God having omnipotence to do what
7:26He wills when He wills how He wills as He unfolds human history, unfolds creation. The first institution
7:36that He established that He establishes is the family with marriage at the center. Brothers
7:46and sisters, I would submit to you that this reality is why there is such intense and protracted
7:54warfare against the marital institution.
8:00This is why there is such potent societal anti-Christ forces that seek to denigrate, to
8:10to winnow, to erode, to destroy marriage. Marriage as an idea, marriage is in its function, marriage
8:24as an aspirational reality. You'll notice in Ephesians 5, when God commands, and I'm
8:33going to say this and continue to stress this, fellows, when God says, husbands love your wives
8:40as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.
8:44I want to tell you that is not a suggestion.
8:47It's a command.
8:49It's not a recommendation.
8:51It's a command.
8:53When the scripture says that husbands are the head,
8:55that a husband is the head of his wife, and notice,
8:58it says head of his wife.
9:00Why submit yourself to your own husbands?
9:02It is not a biological societal submission.
9:05No.
9:07It is not a biological societal self sacrificial love.
9:10No, it's covenantal.
9:13Husbands are to love your own wise as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.
9:22The Lord draws from this reality when he lays out the criteria for eldership in the Lord's
9:26church, which contrary to some people's popular function and practice, the Lord has limited
9:31the eldership function to men.
9:33One of the criteria is that the husband that would be elder in the Lord's church is supposed
9:37to be a one woman man.
9:40The English rendering of that is the husband of one wife, but the Greek text is a one woman
9:45man to where there is a covenant and commitment and investment in the whole of the man, not
9:51only in physical intimacy, fidelity there, not only in being married to only one woman at
9:57a time.
9:58No, but having the entirety of the husband being solely and devoted to his wife.
10:01A simple way to say it is that godly men, biblical men, biblical husbands, especially those who
10:07would be be candidates for eldership in the Lord's church.
10:10They literally should be men who only have eyes for you.
10:14That's what the text is literally saying that I have only have eyes for you.
10:19This is why and I was talking to my wife about this not too long ago.
10:22This is why as a godly man, we have the where we thought to identify the reality
10:28that there are beautiful women, but just because there's a beautiful woman,
10:30doesn't mean I'm attracted to her.
10:32You see, because as a man who is called by God and in dwell by his spirit to bear
10:36the fruit of self-control that attraction you recognize is a feature of covenant.
10:43Remember Colossians 3? Set your affections, remember that? As a godly man,
10:49attraction is a feature of covenant, which is why I can say plainly, I am only attracted to my wife.
10:57Because when you say attracted, you're attracted to what? And to do what? What?
11:03What would you try to do?
11:08When the Psalmist says I would put no unholy thing before my eyes.
11:13And there is even software to develop the ideology from that text called covenant eyes.
11:19Covenant eyes flows or the eyes that are held by a covenant man.
11:23It has Biblical manhood.
11:26Similarly or conversely, wives, who post also submit yourselves to your own husband is not
11:32a categorical societal submission is a covenantal submission.
11:37It is submission that flows from oneness.
11:39He is me and I am him, not from some transgender insanity.
11:45It's a covenantal reality because it too become one flesh.
11:49The wise biblical obligation in our state to the sisters
11:52is like I said to the fellas.
11:54Sisters, the mandate to submit yourselves
11:57to your own husbands is not a suggestion.
12:01It's command of God and it's covenantal submit yourselves
12:06to your own husbands.
12:08This reciprocal mutual, and in notice what they both says,
12:11husbands love your wives to Christ love the church
12:13and gave himself for her.
12:15Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as what?
12:18unto the Lord, the object of both the husband
12:21and the wife's investment in their marital union
12:25is in holy reverence and obedience
12:28to the King of glory who has saved our souls
12:31and redeemed us.
12:34when there is a full on attack against God's institution
12:41because that is exactly what marriage is.
12:43It is God's institution.
12:44He is the one that ordained it.
12:46He is the one that said it is good.
12:48When the scripture records Adam being alone in the garden,
12:54who is the one that made the observation
12:55that it's not good for him to be alone?
12:57Was that Adam's deductive reasoning?
13:00That's what Yahweh said.
13:04God is the one who said,
13:05It's not good for man to be alone.
13:07And so the desire for oneness and holy matrimony
13:11is something that God announced as being good.
13:14But we live in a society because of the prevalence
13:16of brokenness and of various iterations
13:20of succumbing to demonic strategy,
13:25that marriage has fallen into a state,
13:29a decrepit state societally.
13:34What I wanna try to hit today in particular
13:37is that this is not merely a feature of modernity.
13:42What I want to discuss is the reality
13:43that this is the product of a demonic strategy
13:50whose the objective of which ultimately is to thwart
13:58God's plan for his people
14:00and to obscure to image-bearers of God
14:04the glorious goodness that he's made available for us,
14:07to join him in fulfilling his mission and mandate for society, simply put by failing
14:17to understand what God has provided for us, that we put ourselves in a position to suffer
14:22the consequences of endeavoring to do life contrary to whether God has established it
14:28in ordained.
14:31As you've heard me say numerous times, there's a reality that a minority of image-bearers
14:34of God will be those who have the vocation of singleness, accompanied by the gift of celibacy
14:40like the Apostle Paul, but the majority of people will be called to follow the Lord into holy
14:47matrimony because God has designed us that way.
14:50When we reject God's way, we are the ones who suffer the consequences.
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16:04Shining light into the darkness.
16:07This is the Hamilton Corner, an American family radio.
16:10Welcome back to the Hamilton Corner, Abraham Hamilton,
16:13the third here.
16:13And one other thing I wanted to say about the Maritu Union
16:16is you'll note that God established marriage
16:18before you ever even got to the notions
16:20of modern iterations of civil government.
16:23The reason why I raised that point
16:25is because marriage is a pre-political institution.
16:28What do I mean by that?
16:30Simply put, before there was government
16:32or the polis God established marriage.
16:35So governments don't have the authority
16:37to redefine marriage.
16:40Government solely has the opportunity to recognize
16:44and protect what God has established.
16:48So I don't care what legislatures or Supreme Courts
16:52or Congress says God as marriage's designer
16:57is its sole definer.
17:00No matter what you may call various forms
17:03human relationships, they will never be marriage because God alone gets to make that declaration
17:09and definition.
17:10Now that being said, I'm elated to have with me my favorite guest of all time.
17:16My lovely wife, Mrs. Maria Hamilton, the first mother of my six children wife.
17:22We're gonna start year 18 soon enough.
17:25Yes.
17:26Well, soon enough we're 17 years in right now.
17:30I was doing what I do, doing show prep and I came across this clip that really, in my view,
17:42really screamed the issue, one of the major issues that's affecting some of the younger generations
17:48in America.
17:49When I say younger, I don't mean like teenagers, you know, we're talking with people in their
17:5240s, you know?
17:55But you have Kevin Durant, one of the best basketball players, certainly best scorers in
17:59in the history of the game, who's made hundreds of millions of dollars playing basketball.
18:05And he was in this clip, in his interview, in his podcast, and he made a statement.
18:13And in addition to making the statement that we're going to dig into, and I don't know
18:16if you even saw this part, I was telling Jeff about it before you came to the studio,
18:21that this multi-millionaire basketball player said that, you know, he struggled with depression
18:26because he didn't like the way he looked.
18:28He didn't like the way he looked.
18:31He's over it now though, but he's like,
18:33he's like about five years ago.
18:34I was depressed because I don't like the way I looked.
18:36I thought I was too skinny.
18:37I thought I was too tall.
18:39I was tall for no reason, even though you're height,
18:41to help you make your month.
18:43But it reveals something that I wanna dig into
18:48because the fundamental misunderstanding about marriage
18:51and our society with our narcissistic self-absorbed society,
18:54we think that marriage is solely for personal self-grandizement.
18:59Before we get into it, I wanna play the clip
19:02invite you to react and have a conversation around this.
19:04Cool.
19:04All right, listen to and watch Kevin Durant speaking to,
19:09and I don't know this podcast host, Bobby Altoff is her name.
19:15Listen to him talk about his playing for his life,
19:19which includes him never.
19:21Mm, mm, mm, ever, ever, getting married.
19:23Clip number two, clip two, go.
19:26You don't want to just have kids
19:27with someone you want to get married first?
19:29I wouldn't say you get married, no.
19:30Do you want to get married?
19:32No, no.
19:33Really ever.
19:35What if they sign a prenup?
19:37That's not really a prenup though.
19:39What do you mean?
19:40I mean, cause you'll still have to,
19:42when you walk away have to at least give something up.
19:45Well in a perfect world wouldn't you just not
19:47get to like break up?
19:49You would stay with them forever?
19:51That's not ever gonna, that's not ever in a,
19:54I mean I never seen that.
19:56You couldn't do that be with one person
19:57for the rest of your life?
19:58Oh no, that's, I don't know.
20:01Who have you seen that has done that?
20:04It's a good question. Let me think.
20:08I think divorce is actually more of a realistic.
20:11Yeah, it is because I mean, I failed.
20:14So it's a higher divorce percentage is a higher.
20:17It's just like the word marriage.
20:19I get it. What is more so like with that relationship is like, like,
20:22do I want to be with somebody every day?
20:26Yeah.
20:26I hang with the same person every day.
20:28I think that's what most people when you're really old and it's like
20:32you're not going out anymore.
20:33I got the option to do my own thing.
20:36No, but you will.
20:37You'll have your own life.
20:39You're going to find a girl that you probably won't at this point.
20:42I think you might not.
20:43But I feel like the idea is that you'd find a girl that you want to spend every day forever
20:48with.
20:49That's kind of a long time, but it's really not.
20:50You're 37.
20:51What's the average age that men live till?
20:5540 years.
20:56Yeah.
20:57That's too many.
20:58I'm not going to think.
20:58I'm not going to plan for 40 years, stretch.
21:02That's just too hard to plan for.
21:04OK.
21:05Now I want to clear up something that he said, you know, when she asked him was to average man's lifespan
21:11He was speaking of a additional 40 years in addition to his 37. So he was saying probably he expects
21:17I don't know why he concluded that but his lifespan to be somewhere around 77 years old
21:23So that's what he was trying to say
21:25But before I get into into anything Mrs. Hamilton. I toss it to you when you hear that
21:31What are some of the first things that jump out to you?
21:33So both of them have lived lives where they have had zero exposure to marriage, like zero
21:43exposure to covenant relationships, commitment, love.
21:49So at 37, this is not a young kid, right?
21:52Like I don't know how old she is, she looks younger, but we don't know.
21:55Based on her own statement, she was married and now divorced.
22:00So at a minimum, old enough to be married in divorce.
22:03And you know what's interesting when he says, I mean, think about it, like the majority,
22:07pretty much in other words, the majority of people get divorced.
22:10So the standard is divorced.
22:11The standard is not married, right?
22:13And we see that.
22:14In his experience.
22:15Right.
22:16But what we see that society, and I'm not saying he's right across the board, but we see
22:18that a lot in society, right?
22:20Well, he's not right comprehensively, but as the age skews younger, he is right.
22:26That is what they're experiencing, right?
22:27Like the younger generation.
22:28No, the data supports it too.
22:29Right.
22:30That is just younger.
22:31Yeah.
22:32So with that in mind, right?
22:35When we, and that's, I mean, he's lost,
22:37we can't expect anything more.
22:39We can't expect somebody that is,
22:40I don't know the truth.
22:41Well, I don't know if we know that.
22:41Just see the truth and identify.
22:42I think he might profess to be a Christian.
22:44At one point, he would profess Christianity.
22:46That's true when he was young.
22:47Now, I'm not saying I'm affirming that and confirming that.
22:49I'm just saying that I don't know if he would probably say
22:52he's a Christian.
22:53Correct, yeah, and I know he did it once upon a time.
22:55But so my point is though, for a person who is living the life
22:59that he's living in has his mentality and has,
23:01is like an exposure to the truth, at least in marriage.
23:05We're living in a time where the standard
23:09is what is therefore true to people, right?
23:12So he's saying-
23:13Wait, what do you mean we say the standard?
23:15The standard, what they see?
23:16The most frequent occurrence.
23:17There we go, that's a better word.
23:18Yeah, the most frequent occurrence of what they're experiencing
23:23to them dictates then what is true, right?
23:25So he's like because majority of people are divorcing
23:27in his perspective, then therefore,
23:30marriage is not a thing.
23:31It should not be pursued because the likelihood of it failing is high, right?
23:35So, it agrees me, man, because like, what are we doing?
23:41And here's the thing.
23:43We cannot expect, you always say it, we cannot expect the world to produce righteousness.
23:47The world is going to world.
23:48So then, what are we doing in the church?
23:51And are we allowing the enemy to infiltrate, which we are seeing at the enemy has come in
23:57and convinced us within the body of Christ that marriage is little, it's unimportant.
24:02It is not all we should pursue who needs it, for what purpose, you're going to lose yourself,
24:06you're not going to have, like you said, you're not going to be able to do your own thing,
24:08how can you be with this one person for the rest of your life, and all these negative things,
24:12we are completely embracing within the body of Christ a worldly perspective and ideology
24:17of marriage, of covenant, of relationship.
24:19We don't understand it at all what Paul, what you read in the first segment.
24:23We don't understand at all what that means.
24:24What does it mean for marriage to be the illustration of Christ and his bride?
24:30And so it's very sad.
24:31It just grieves me to know when.
24:32But again, we cannot expect him and her to know and see the right way of being married
24:40and the right way of living this particular aspect of what God calls us to live if they're
24:45not within the body.
24:47So it's our responsibility.
24:49It's not his.
24:50It's our responsibility as believers.
24:52right to live it out.
24:55We are the ones that are called to obey God.
24:56We're the ones that understand it.
24:58We're the ones that have the insight
24:59where the ones that are supposed to be the light
25:01in this world.
25:01We gotta live it.
25:03So we gotta live it not just for him,
25:05but we gotta live it forward.
25:06This is the sake of the gospel advancing
25:08so that people like him can understand
25:10and come to know the truth.
25:14His statements punctuated for me something
25:17I've been chewing on and I alluded to this
25:19in the first segment already.
25:20When you had, you know, people listen to American family radio, you know, and you have
25:26people talk about marriage.
25:28And I think about the life and legacy and the witness of Dr. James Dobson, for example, how
25:34those concepts strike people who are similarly situated as Kevin Durant, because when you get
25:43to younger generations, and again, I don't like using these terms, but because the people
25:48are familiar with them. I'll use it in this conversation. But like millennials and younger,
25:54the majority of millennials and younger significant majorities or millennials and younger
26:00are situated similarly to Kevin Durant in that they have never witnessed or experienced
26:10a lifelong marriage. They have never witnessed or experienced a husband committed to his wife
26:17and a wife committed to her husband for the duration of their natural lives.
26:22They don't know anyone.
26:23Like they, they were in their brains.
26:25They have no one.
26:26Have never experienced it, have never seen it, have never witnessed it.
26:32And so when we say the term family and family values, I think that one of the, one of the
26:42glitches in the Matrix, if you will, that we have not considered is that when we say those
26:46phrases in the terms that we may have an intention in our minds when we say those phrases, but
26:51when people like Kevin Durant and who are similarly just to try to hear them, they hear something
26:55entirely different than what we're saying. Yeah. You and I were growing up in the 80s and 90s.
26:59Mm-hmm. And even though there was a lot of families that were being torn apart by the enemy,
27:06mind being one of them, right? I still saw the majority of my classmates, for example,
27:12within tech families.
27:14Yes, my experience with the opposite.
27:15Right. But yours was the pre-scot.
27:17My guys with my parents are still married.
27:19Yeah. But the majority of my peers came from families, divorce, divorce, divorce.
27:25Yes. So it was already happening at that time, but it's worsened now, right?
27:29Like you have, what, millennials after the generation is coming after that are not, right?
27:35So when we say family, what we mean as Christians is what God designed, right?
27:43The institution of family that he designed, which is a husband and a wife, committed forever
27:47with the capability to having to reproduce and have children.
27:51But that's not what they see.
27:52I don't know.
27:53I mean, I know that we've talked about what the majority of people today would understand
27:58as family would be just reproduction, just having the offspring and focusing on like
28:03parenting or just providing for the child financially or however, but not a commitment to the parent,
28:13the spouse, whether it's the wife or the husband, nor is it a commitment to the child's
28:18life 24-7, right? It's at best like, you know, let's just co-parent and that's destructive.
28:25Which this entire conversation that we're having in this clip and the reality that we're talking
28:30about has really, really, really provoked in me. The fact that the body of Christ needed to do a
28:40much better and a much different and a, you know, a Martin Luther Reformation-styled presentation of
28:50what Mary's truly is because one of the things that has provoked God's institution being denigrated
28:56to become a societal casualty is that, you know, Maslow's theory, Maslow's hierarchy of self-actualization
29:04being the zenith of it has so permeated the idea of marriage in our society and in our
29:09country that the majority of people, if you ask them about marriage, they literally think
29:14their immediate thought is that marriage is something that is for me.
29:18This is something that this should be my buffet.
29:23Children too, right?
29:24We enter into any type of relationship for our benefit.
29:27I like accessory to make my life be full.
29:30Yeah, what I want.
29:31Which has resulted in, and I want you to weigh in on this,
29:36really even in the church, we have not conveyed
29:40biblically what the aspiration toward marriage
29:45should consist of.
29:46Yeah, so Paul, not being married,
29:49but being inspired by the Spirit of God,
29:52and Jesus not being married, but clearly being God,
29:55instructed.
29:56But he's married to the bride of Christ.
29:57Hey, hey, the Lord instructed,
30:03and like you said, defined it, right?
30:05So explain the defined it and commanded that we live this out.
30:10So in the body of Christ, what we have allowed is a downgrade,
30:15because the world we experience can utter destruction.
30:18There is instruction in marriage in the church,
30:21but we've allowed it at best, the best marriages
30:24and your example growing up is one that I'm about to say
30:28or describe is that at best you just stay together
30:31because you know God hates divorce.
30:32But we are not married, we're not honoring the covenant,
30:35right? So what happened?
30:36You just survived together.
30:37You just survived, you stay together because
30:38you know we're Christians.
30:39But man, if we obey just what you read, Ephesians 5,
30:45and if you go back to verse one, right,
30:47it says be imitators of God as children.
30:49as children.
30:50So the instruction is not just as dear children.
30:52Yeah, the instruction is not just,
30:54hey, what are you saying?
30:56Okay, yes, sir, right?
30:57Or, you know, vice versa, however you want to reciprocate
31:00that for the husband, toward the wife.
31:02It is the imitators of God.
31:04That means in character, right?
31:06In character.
31:07So, and he says, the imitators of God as beloved children
31:10and walk in love.
31:11So you got to live out love.
31:13You got to live out.
31:14You got to live it.
31:15It's an action word.
31:15It's not just a, it's not a butterfly, right?
31:17Yeah. Alone.
31:18I would say, yes.
31:19It's not just butterflies, right?
31:21And so we are failing in the body of Christ,
31:24but here's the thing,
31:25so the institution of the church is designed by God,
31:29for a family then church.
31:30The church is comprised of families,
31:32Christian believing families who are supposed to
31:36illustrate, demonstrate within the body and outside, right?
31:40So outside of the church, outside in the world,
31:43what it looks like to be imitators of God and walk in love,
31:47primarily with your spouse.
31:48Yes, and we don't do that.
31:50Continue your train of thought,
31:51but I just want to interject something.
31:52So you mentioned the family as the first institution
31:55in the church and the church's job is to equip the saints
31:59for the work of the ministry comprehensively.
32:02So that equipping the saints for the work of the ministry
32:05includes equipping the saints who are unmarried
32:09who God is drawing towards marriage
32:11to have a biblical anchor and gospel centricity
32:15to their pursuit of obeying him
32:17by being made members of his institution.
32:19Yeah, to have a biblical role of view of marriage.
32:21To have a biblical understanding of what it is,
32:25I hear that disrespectful music.
32:26So when we come back, I wanna begin by offering
32:31some of the foundational tenets
32:32I would submit for you all's consideration,
32:34your consideration for how do we recalibrate
32:38to offer a reformed perspective
32:41of a gospel centric representation of what we should aspire toward in marriage.
32:50Want to do that when we get back from the break.
32:52You're down?
32:53Yep.
32:54Let's do it more from the Amalder Corner.
32:55Let me get back.
33:00Jenna Ellis.
33:01This may be the first time in US history that a mayor of the largest city in America
33:09is a self-proclaimed Democrat socialist and a Muslim.
33:14and author, a constitutional scholar, and the host of Jenna Ellis in the morning.
33:18This is a worldview issue.
33:23Listen weekdays at 7 Central on American Family Radio and find her podcast at AFR.net.
33:34Hamilton Quarter Podcast and One-Minute Common Terrets are available at EFR.net.
33:40Back to the Hamilton Quarter on American Family Radio.
33:45Welcome back to the Hamilton Corner, Abraham Hamilton III joined by Maria Hamilton the first
33:49And only get there, right, and keep it right.
33:51Ain't no first, just only.
33:54We're talking about marriage, man,
33:56and confronting the reality that as Americans
34:00skew younger, most of their experiences include never
34:04seen a lifelong marriage in their experiences.
34:08Some of you, as you're listening to me,
34:09just thinking your own experiences,
34:11how frequent have you encountered a husband and wife
34:15who have been committed to each other
34:17for the entirety of their lives,
34:19faithfully committed to each other.
34:20I'm about to go even further,
34:22faithfully committed to each other without straying,
34:28faithfully committed to each other.
34:30I don't know, I don't know if I'm like,
34:31faithfully committed to each other
34:34without straying even digitally and visually.
34:38See, and this is why I'm saying these things.
34:41We can not allow the frequency and the prevalence
34:45of brokenness to reset us to accommodate
34:49what the scripture says is not known.
34:51Mm-hmm. Yeah, we tend to normalize
34:54What is experienced most frequently, but to the exclusion of what the word of God says and
35:00And we need to have a recalibration and even though the prevalent
35:04Most people's experience include having marital dissolution that shouldn't change for us what the expectation should be and what should be normal
35:12Yeah
35:12So one thing that you said and you said this from the beginning and I think you brought it up in when you do pre-marital counseling
35:18It's the notion of going into a room without exit doors, right?
35:21And of course people hear that and they're like,
35:23Oh God, like that just feels like commitment.
35:25Commitment, yeah.
35:26And it feels like jail.
35:27But it's really going into a room where you don't want exit doors.
35:31Like you want, this is your person,
35:33this is your human for the rest of your life, right?
35:35And it's for the glory of God.
35:37So when we have that perspective and then we have differences, right,
35:41what we tend to do because we've thought of marriage as a,
35:44how can you better improve me or how do you
35:47do you benefit me, then what we do is we say,
35:51fix yourself and I'm gonna try to fix myself.
35:54And then when we're both fixed, then we'll get along
35:57and then it'll work and then we'll be happy
35:59and you'll make me happy and I'll make you happy.
36:00And then we come by yeah, but that is not biblical.
36:03That's not the design that God put in place for marriage at all.
36:07When God, and when you read it in Ephesians,
36:09when God says for husbands to love your wife,
36:12like Christ loved the church, it is a sacrificial.
36:15but not only sacrificial, like he just lays down for her,
36:18but it is a leadership role of healing,
36:23wholeness, restoration, softening the rough edges,
36:29discipling, like.
36:31The husband to the wife.
36:32Yeah, the husband to the wife,
36:33like taking upon himself this bride without spotter blemish.
36:39Like Jesus is saying, I will come back for a bride
36:41without a spotter blemish.
36:42So I, like you always say, I should be a better,
36:45more, more God glorifying human being
36:48because I'm married to you.
36:49It is not solely on your hands.
36:51I have to, I have to also desire holiness,
36:54but you help me in that.
36:55That I should be there. You don't just say,
36:56fix yourself.
36:57I should be an active agent in aiding you
37:00to becoming more Christ-like.
37:01Right. And then I am your helper, right?
37:04So when I see areas where there it needs to be growth,
37:07or areas where I'm like, oh Lord, I'm concerned here,
37:09I come along and help you.
37:10I don't dictate to you.
37:12I don't preach at you.
37:14I don't criticize.
37:15I come and help.
37:16Hey babe, have you considered this?
37:18I see this.
37:19Let's consider this as pray about this or something.
37:21You know, I'm concerned about it.
37:22And so we help, I help you to be the man
37:25that you're supposed to be so that you can hear
37:26well done at the end, right?
37:28But when we are selfish in marriage,
37:31selfishness destroys marriages.
37:32Let's just be honest.
37:33When you boil it all down, it's gonna be selfish.
37:35So somebody will selfish and destroy the marriage.
37:38And the enemy uses that, right?
37:39One of those.
37:40Yes. And so when we take that into consideration,
37:43then we go into the room without exit doors
37:45because I'm here to make sure that at the end,
37:48you hear well done and you're here to make sure
37:50that I am spotless and blameless at the end,
37:53blemish free if you will, at the end.
37:55And so, wow.
37:56Aspired toward that, yeah.
37:57Yeah, and so that's how we become a light.
38:00We don't have to go and put on a face of perfection
38:06to the law so that they can want marriage.
38:08No, we just live marriage.
38:09in our home and can I just hear an anecdote real quick?
38:12Wait, before you do it.
38:13And remember where you go on if you need to make a note of it.
38:16Because I wanna say something before you share an anecdote.
38:18Because before the break I mentioned,
38:21I wanted to articulate a few foundational tenets
38:26that are needed in order to reform the way
38:29we communicate marriage and to change,
38:31to reform what we aspire toward.
38:34Because the reality is that the
38:37heretical theology of jerry mcguire has infiltrated the entirety of the american
38:41body politic and i don't know if i was a jerry mcguire is a movie tom cruis and
38:45kuba good engine you complete me
38:47you know that will be like
38:48now fam
38:51a human being is incapable of completing another human being because you're both
38:54fallen correct
38:55and so you you are you are when you enter into the mayor to you from this
38:59disposition that this person
39:01will now who is now a a an addendum to my life
39:05that my life now should thrive in bliss.
39:09And if there's any impediment on my bliss,
39:12then that means it's not working.
39:13It is a heretical foundational understanding
39:18that sets one up to fail from the very beginning.
39:20Because what should be changed, and I'm talking,
39:23let's be clear, I'm talking to Christians,
39:24scripture tells us plainly, be the believers to be equally,
39:27you are not to be unequally yoked together
39:29with an unbeliever.
39:30So I ain't even talking about being joined to an unbeliever.
39:32I'm talking about the context where believers
39:34to come together and holy matrimony, the thing that should be at the foremost of both the groom
39:39and the bride's mind and heart should be ascribing toward holiness and becoming more Christlike.
39:50That should be the foundational understanding and the responsive understanding of the groom
39:57and bride should be that I am here as a vessel of God to aid you in your journey to become
40:04more like him.
40:05Yeah.
40:06You are here as a vessel of God to aid me to be more like him.
40:10So the primary consideration should be, and this is where the church has the role to play,
40:15because the church has equipped the saints for works of ministry.
40:18The people coming together should recognize that God is divine sovereignty has led you
40:23to me to draw us together that we are agents in aiding one another, individually become
40:33more Christ-like, and together we are fulfilling purpose that transcends you and I individually.
40:39They got us drawn us together for his glory.
40:42Sanctification and his glory are our primary concerns and it is maximally desired for both
40:47of us.
40:48That is what we want more than anything else.
40:50We want God to be glorified and we want to be sanctified more than anything else.
40:56That's right.
40:57That's right.
40:58So if we want to do that, then we got to look at the example of Jesus' character and the
41:04events that transpired in his earthly life that revealed to us how he responded in certain
41:09circumstances, right?
41:11Because we got to live day to day, right?
41:14And it's easy for us to say, hey, be Christlike, but then in the moments where we got to be
41:18be Christ-like, which is all the time, right, with each other.
41:20That's when the flesh wants to rise up
41:22and the enemy creeps in, right?
41:23So let's be real practical with that.
41:24Yes.
41:25So there is, what your illustrate is perfectly beautiful.
41:28Please don't leave your train of thought.
41:29Because in order for the Christ-likeness to be formed,
41:32guess what God has to do?
41:33Expose the areas in us.
41:35Yes Lord.
41:36And not enhance us.
41:37And he does.
41:38Yes.
41:39So that shouldn't become something that communicates
41:41to the groom and bride and now the husband and wife,
41:43that there's a problem in marriage.
41:45No, it's not a problem.
41:46It's functioning as God designed it.
41:48Yes, and it's for edification and for sanctification.
41:51So the other day, we got in a disagreement
41:53because I love this man so dearly.
41:55He's the one that can hurt me the most.
41:59We always know that we're in marriage,
42:00we're gonna hurt each other
42:01because we're the first point of contact, if you will.
42:04The people you are closest to,
42:04you have the most frequent opportunity
42:06to hurt more than anybody else.
42:07So then I can speak for myself,
42:09how do I respond like Christ when my husband hurts me?
42:13When he says something or does something that hurts,
42:15whether he intended to hurt me or not,
42:17when it hurts, how do I respond?
42:19And the flesh and the enemy is just waiting anxiously
42:23at the door, like the Bible says,
42:25he's knocking on the door for you and for me to respond.
42:29I'm crouching at the door.
42:30Sorry, cut, yeah.
42:30You know, I paraphrase a lot.
42:33And so he's waiting to come in
42:35because what he wants is for us to respond in the flesh.
42:38And so when you hurt me in that day,
42:40when you made a face,
42:42my response is defensive, lash out.
42:47I'm coming back with words that are gonna hurt you
42:49because I'm hurt.
42:50And I love you though.
42:51Like I still love you through even during the disagreement,
42:54but I'm hurt.
42:55So I'm like, fix yourself.
42:57Like you're wrong, right?
42:59And I wanna let you know.
43:00And then the emotions come with it.
43:02But then the Holy Spirit comes in and convicts
43:04because he's so good.
43:05And so he says, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
43:07He may have been wrong.
43:08Your husband may have been wrong.
43:09The wife may have been wrong.
43:10But how do you respond?
43:12Because you cannot change them.
43:13You cannot make them behave or act
43:16in the way that Christ is requiring for them to behave and act.
43:19So how do you respond like Christ?
43:21And so in that moment, in our discussion,
43:24difference, disagreement,
43:26I responded out of pain and lashed out.
43:29And so then the Holy Spirit convicted me and he said,
43:31well, wait, how can you, because he says, walk in love,
43:34how can you respond in love when you are hurt?
43:37It's easy to not respond in love when you're hurt.
43:40But how do I respond?
43:41Christ was crucified.
43:44He died for the ones that hammered the nails to his hand.
43:48Like he was hated and spat upon,
43:51mocked, beaten, abused by the ones he loved.
43:54So he was hurt by those that he loved.
43:57So I am hurt by the one that I love in this disagreement, right?
44:01And nowhere close to be crucified, right?
44:03But I'm hurt.
44:04Christ died for them.
44:08So how can I die to my flesh and respond in love?
44:11And what I should have said, which I know we've resolved it
44:14and we discussed it, what I should have said is,
44:16hey babe, that look you gave me, that just hurt me.
44:19What are you thinking?
44:21What is going on that causes you to be,
44:23to develop whatever emotion you're feeling
44:25that caused you to make that face?
44:26And I don't want anything to come between us
44:29because whatever we are discussing
44:31should never be a source of division.
44:34So how can we discuss this without it hurting further?
44:38Versus, why are you making that face?
44:41and just becoming all emotional in the moment
44:43because it's out of hurt.
44:44So again, my gentle encouragement,
44:47which I'm trying to live up to guys,
44:48is when we are hurt by our spouse,
44:50I've done it to you, you probably have angels you can share,
44:52where you can respond like Christ,
44:55and the more we respond like Christ,
44:57the more we are being sanctified and become like Christ,
44:59and the brighter our light will shine,
45:01where you have Kevin Durant being able to see,
45:03wait, I do see, I know someone,
45:06I know a couple who are living this out
45:08and who are committed to each other,
45:10And who are not going to quit the first moment we heard each other or or are in
45:14a disagreement, you know,
45:15now let's unpack that even a little bit more.
45:18Cause what just happened when you said, and y'all can't believe this short,
45:21cause it's like an ape over here, you know, my faces, I mean, look at this face.
45:25I mean, come off, right?
45:28But in that, in the, in the hyper, that was a real scenario.
45:31I want to have it to go at all.
45:32That was real.
45:32What, in, in what happened, you were saying something to me, I made a face.
45:37You interpreted my face to communicate something.
45:38And it made you defensive, right?
45:42We have natural humanistic tendencies.
45:44We've heard about fight or flight, right?
45:45Because of things you've experienced in life,
45:48things you've experienced with me,
45:49things you've experienced over time,
45:50my face at that moment communicated to you,
45:52I would say, inaccurately.
45:53But it communicated to you something that provoked in you
45:55a need to protect yourself.
45:57So one of the coping mechanisms you've developed over time
46:01is, and I would say, a natural,
46:04some might even say, carnal responses is when
46:08provoke to fight a flight, a coping mechanism is to protect yourself by lashing back.
46:13Yeah. All right. So what you just described, the
46:16phenomenon that we've been talking about, that when we have disagreements and God put us together
46:20for certification purposes and the Lord reveals an area that requires a more Holy Spirit buffing,
46:26more age smoothing. We can take those moments that God has allowed to transpire to make us
46:34more like him, we can take them and turn them into moments that draws further away from him
46:39and further away from one another if we allow that to happen.
46:42All right.
46:44So to the point that you made when you communicate back to me with the proper perspective or whatever,
46:51that's necessary, I then have an opportunity.
46:54Am I going to respond to Christ like because the Lord wrote through the possible attentivity,
46:58for example, that the righteous man is supposed to be godly, particularly when wronged?
47:03Yeah. Yeah.
47:04Being wrong does not an occasion for ungodliness.
47:08Amen.
47:10Particularly when wronged.
47:12So when you then offer words to me that are less than stellar,
47:16how do I respond to that?
47:18You know, also do I take ownership of not only what I say verbally,
47:22but what my face communicates?
47:24Yeah.
47:25I express to you in that moment that I need to do a better job
47:28of making sure my face matches what's in my mind and heart
47:33because I know you and you know me.
47:36So even if in that moment you perceive something
47:41beyond what I was thinking, I have an obligation
47:44because I love you and I'm committed to you.
47:46And so we must have this mutual commitment first to God
47:51that causes us to remain in our commitment to one another
47:54to not allow moments where we both me and you
47:59have an opportunity for, oh, this is the area
48:02I need more refinement.
48:05And glory to God for that, right?
48:06Glory to God that He does not leave us the same.
48:08Glory to God that we have the opportunity
48:10to be more like Him.
48:10Oh, I'm in the show.
48:12That way, my friend.
48:12I'm looking warm up, Jeff.
48:15Uh-oh, we need two hours.
48:16Man, I especially need two hours a day.
48:20Because the lack of having enduring witness,
48:22and look, man, I want to be clear what we're talking about.
48:24God has ordained His union, His institution,
48:28for us to be able to enjoy life long commitment,
48:31unfettered intimacy and have the glorious privilege of being more and more and more like Christ
48:38day after day after day which results in guess what us being more one and more intimate and our
48:44bond being stronger I am more passionately committed to you 17 years in than I was when we first said
48:49I do yeah and I know it's the same for you that's right so I guess we have to do be continue this
48:55Yeah.
48:56Guys, marriage is wonderful.
49:00When the people involved are submitted to Christ first, which causes us to be bonded
49:06to one another.
49:09The views and opinions expressed in this broadcast may not necessarily reflect those of the American
49:14Family Association or American Family Radio.

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